Ignis
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 24, 2013
- Messages
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Hey guys... I think I need some outside thoughts on this. I'm getting a lot of.. Conflicting opinions. I think I need some more...
Warning WALL OF TEXT APPROACHING
Double warning POTENTIALLY BORING STORY AHEAD
Triple warning A FREAKING LONG STORY AHEAD WITH A LOT OF BACKSTORY THAT YOU MAY, OR MAY NOT CARE ABOUT
Quadruple warning BECAUSE WHY NOT?
Background information:
There's a girl I know at this take-out place I go. I used to go there fairly regularly (Maybe 3 or 4 times a week? Now it's more like once or twice a week due to work).
At first it felt as though we weren't really going to be talking to each other much. First time I saw her though, I thought she was very cute. Very pretty girl indeed.
It started off with just taking my order... She'd get through it and we'd say our goodbyes.
I knew a lot of the people there, could say I was pretty much a regular customer there. So when it was anyone else I could have a conversation with them, guy or girl... We were all kinda friends.
I established that I couldn't really talk to this girl because I really liked her and the feelings were getting in the way of any sort of communication between us.
Anyway, one day I brought my friend with me to this place... He's a bit of a ladies man so he knows how to talk to girls and they start hitting it off...
We get our food and walk out, I notice that there seems to be a bit of chemistry between the two of them and ask what he thinks. He said "She's cute, but not my type."
A little while after that, I found out from one of her work friends that she had a boyfriend... And was in a fairly long, committed relationship (It was about 8 or 9 months at that point). After hearing this, I kinda dropped all notions of getting with this girl and just let myself be friends with her without expecting anything more.
Time went on, and we actually started talking now that I wasn't so concerned about what she thought about me. Then it got to a point where we started talking about each others lives.
I went back with my friend Mr. "Ladies man" and I was actually talking with her a lot more than he was.
More time went on... Then one day, after I got my food and sat down eating... She made some food and came and sat with me. She told me she didn't really like taking breaks because it feels like it detracts from work she could be doing, but she was really tired.
I said fair enough, and we talked for about half an hour before she had to go back to work. I thought nothing of it, my friend Mr. "Ladies Man" thought that was definitely a sign that she was into me, and completely disregarded that she had a boyfriend.
Then, every second or third time she'd come eat with me, until every time I went and it wasn't busy she'd go on her break and we'd talk.
I thought to myself "Wow, it's actually nice to just have a friend. To have a girl that I'm not chasing after or fantasizing over."
We continued doing this for a while... Once a week for a good month or two... Then I stopped going, I was interested in someone else... And I started working days she was working, which meant we couldn't really see each other.
What surprised me though was that one day she came into work. What i thought would be the first and only time I thought she'd come in.
I was shocked it was her at first, took me a moment to register who it was.
We chatted for a bit, I asked her what she was up to and she said that she was in the area shopping for school supplies for her brother, and some clothes for herself. Then she let out that she was killing time until her brother finished school and she had to go pick him up. I asked her when, and she said about 45 minutes to an hour.
I dunno where this next part came from, probably the only time I've ever been so up-front with a woman due to me being shy around them and said
"Well... I haven't gone on my break yet so... If you're kinda hungry..."
She replied with "Yeah, I'm kinda hungry actually."
So we went and had lunch together, it was pretty weird being in reversed situations but I went with it anyway.
We had our chat, and said our goodbyes and she left.
I came back and my work-mate gave me a smirk and said "She's cute. Friend of yours?"
I shrugged and said "Yeah. Friend. She's got a boyfriend though." and laughed it off.
Then we kinda disappeared off each others radars for maybe... 2 or 3 months. I saw her maybe once but we didn't get to talk much as she was flooded with customers and she never came back in to see me.
Recently:
After 2 or 3 months of working days where she wasn't working, I was finally back to having a couple of decent days off. Day off came around, and I decided why not, I'm kinda hungry...
Went around, and sure enough... She was working. She had a look of surprise when I walked in and started off with
"Wow. I haven't seen you in a while."
I responded with "Yeah, sorry for the disappearing act."
She said "It's so funny, a work-mate and I were just talking about you the other day actually. About how we haven't seen you in ages!"
I chuckled and said that I'd been caught up with work, explained the situation and what-not.
I asked her how she was going and she said not so good... I asked why, and it turns out she'd broken up with her boyfriend not too long ago and was pretty cut about it.
The first thing that came to my head was "Opportunity. CHA-CHING!" I ignored that and went with the second option of "Be her friend. Listen to her."
Asked her what was wrong, how it happened and what-not. Got the spiel about how her boyfriend was an ******* to her at the end of their relationship. How she was keeping in contact with his family, but not him because they're nice. Etc.
I got my food and sat down... She kept working and we chatted for a while because it was quiet, then she finished her shift and sat with me.. Chatted a little more about the break-up then she said she had to go... I said I should be getting home too. Walked to each others cars and I finished things with "If you ever need someone to talk to, I've heard I'm pretty good at listening."
She laughed it off and said "I'll be fine. I'm sure I'll have something else to go on about next time you come in anyway."
I came in the following weekend and we talked a little more, asked her how she was going and she responded that she was going well... But was still kinda healing over it and what-not.
Which I thought was fair enough.
I go to buy my food and she asks if I want any cookies as she always does... I say "Yeah. Sure." And she says that if I do, I should wait because she's gonna bake a new set.. The ones right now were pretty bad.
I said "Sure. I've got some time to kill I guess. These had better be some good cookies though."
She laughed sarcastically and replied with "Of course, I made them so they'll be the best."
I sat there for a bit, eating lunch and browsing the internet.. As you do. She seemed busy with other things, so I kinda left her to do her thing.
About 15 minutes later, she tells me they're ready and I go get them. I sit down and eat them, she goes off for a while before coming back and asking me how they were.
"Yeah, they were actually really good." I said.
"See? Told you." she responded.
She went to go get cookies for herself and went to go sit with me, but got interrupted by a customer... Then another one... Then another one. I saw that she wasn't going anywhere, anytime soon so I left it. Said goodbye to her quickly and went home.
Following week, get my food... She comes sits with me... Almost the first thing she opens up with is "I did something really stupid yesterday."
Turns out she'd gone for a night out with some friends and called her ex-boyfriend to pick her up. I scolded her a little asking her if it was what she really wanted to do. She didn't mind, apparently they were on better terms and it didn't feel awkward at all. Good for her.
I asked her what she intended on doing next, if she was going to go back to him and whatnot.
She briefly mentioned that their relationship changed towards the end, they were fighting all the time and as much as she'd love to get back with him... Things would never be like they used to. But, if he was gonna come back to her... She'd make him work the rest of his life for her.
I said "You can do better than him. You don't deserve an *******. You're a funny, genuine girl and you can do way better than him."
In an attempt to come across as confident smiled and said "Of course I can."
Things went on... And we said our goodbyes and left it.
Went and got food the following week (I'd be lying if I said it was entirely about food.) then last week. Had a chat, had lunch... Nothing overly important. Just small talk.
Which brings us... To today.
I'm at work.. I had a late night last night... I'm tired, I've got a lot of work to do and it hadn't been a good couple of weeks for me so I wasn't in the greatest of moods. Who should very randomly happen to come in today but her.
Took me a moment to recognize it was her before my mood picked up immediately and I was in a much better mood.
She said that she was in the area because she went to talk about getting an induction for a new job at a clothes store that is... Kinda near me? Not in the same complex, but close by. Walking distance.
I congratulated her, I knew it was something she'd applied for and she thought it was something she wasn't going to get. Following it up with asking her what she'd be doing about her current job.. If she'd be quitting or what.
She said she was going to see how things go... If she likes it, she'd quit and move to her new job.
I told her that was fair enough...
Then she said
"No one at my work knows about this yet... So can you keep it a secret? Don't tell anyone there. I'm gonna take a couple of days off to see how the induction goes."
I looked at her blankly for a moment before saying
"Of course... Why would I tell anyone?"
She shrugged before telling me that she had to leave to go to university for the day. Quickly said bye and dashed off.
Took a while to actually.. Process what had happened. So many things went through my mind.
Why tell me this? Why now? She could have told me any other time of the week.. She could have waited until the next time I saw her.
Needless to say, I had to ask my friend about it who responded almost immediately with nothing more than "Did you get her number?"
I had no clue what he meant.. He literally had to spell it out for me.
"She came to tell you because if she leaves, she wants to keep in touch. Get her number. She's interested."
I let it sit and simmer for a while... Then ANOTHER of my friends comes in to visit me, we go have lunch together... I tell him what happened, and he said "Add her on Facebook. If you can't get her number, add her on Facebook."
Now, I have one. But I never use it... Like... Ever. Literally. I can count on 1 hand the number of times I've ever even cared about using it.
I told him this, and he asked me to find her on Facebook, I knew her last name right? Which I did... It's true.
He then snatched my phone off me and sent her a friend request himself before giving me my phone back. Before I could say anything about how annoyed I was he did it he said
"You'll thank me later. I did you a favor. You wouldn't have done it anyway."
Which is true. I wouldn't have. But that's besides the point.
--------------------------------------
Anyways. The situation I'm in right now... Is I'm very confused as to the state of everything right now. So I need some outside opinions as to what's happening... I tend to be quite dense when it comes to anything like this, I'm almost oblivious to anything of the sort.
I've had 2 people tell me she's interested in me. I don't think she is... We've been friends for a year and a half. Seems kinda weird that things would change up so quickly.
Am I overthinking things? (Stupid question, I have a nasty habit of overthinking anything and everything) Friends? More than friends?
What do you guys and girls think? Thoughts? Opinions?
Warning WALL OF TEXT APPROACHING
Double warning POTENTIALLY BORING STORY AHEAD
Triple warning A FREAKING LONG STORY AHEAD WITH A LOT OF BACKSTORY THAT YOU MAY, OR MAY NOT CARE ABOUT
Quadruple warning BECAUSE WHY NOT?
Background information:
There's a girl I know at this take-out place I go. I used to go there fairly regularly (Maybe 3 or 4 times a week? Now it's more like once or twice a week due to work).
At first it felt as though we weren't really going to be talking to each other much. First time I saw her though, I thought she was very cute. Very pretty girl indeed.
It started off with just taking my order... She'd get through it and we'd say our goodbyes.
I knew a lot of the people there, could say I was pretty much a regular customer there. So when it was anyone else I could have a conversation with them, guy or girl... We were all kinda friends.
I established that I couldn't really talk to this girl because I really liked her and the feelings were getting in the way of any sort of communication between us.
Anyway, one day I brought my friend with me to this place... He's a bit of a ladies man so he knows how to talk to girls and they start hitting it off...
We get our food and walk out, I notice that there seems to be a bit of chemistry between the two of them and ask what he thinks. He said "She's cute, but not my type."
A little while after that, I found out from one of her work friends that she had a boyfriend... And was in a fairly long, committed relationship (It was about 8 or 9 months at that point). After hearing this, I kinda dropped all notions of getting with this girl and just let myself be friends with her without expecting anything more.
Time went on, and we actually started talking now that I wasn't so concerned about what she thought about me. Then it got to a point where we started talking about each others lives.
I went back with my friend Mr. "Ladies man" and I was actually talking with her a lot more than he was.
More time went on... Then one day, after I got my food and sat down eating... She made some food and came and sat with me. She told me she didn't really like taking breaks because it feels like it detracts from work she could be doing, but she was really tired.
I said fair enough, and we talked for about half an hour before she had to go back to work. I thought nothing of it, my friend Mr. "Ladies Man" thought that was definitely a sign that she was into me, and completely disregarded that she had a boyfriend.
Then, every second or third time she'd come eat with me, until every time I went and it wasn't busy she'd go on her break and we'd talk.
I thought to myself "Wow, it's actually nice to just have a friend. To have a girl that I'm not chasing after or fantasizing over."
We continued doing this for a while... Once a week for a good month or two... Then I stopped going, I was interested in someone else... And I started working days she was working, which meant we couldn't really see each other.
What surprised me though was that one day she came into work. What i thought would be the first and only time I thought she'd come in.
I was shocked it was her at first, took me a moment to register who it was.
We chatted for a bit, I asked her what she was up to and she said that she was in the area shopping for school supplies for her brother, and some clothes for herself. Then she let out that she was killing time until her brother finished school and she had to go pick him up. I asked her when, and she said about 45 minutes to an hour.
I dunno where this next part came from, probably the only time I've ever been so up-front with a woman due to me being shy around them and said
"Well... I haven't gone on my break yet so... If you're kinda hungry..."
She replied with "Yeah, I'm kinda hungry actually."
So we went and had lunch together, it was pretty weird being in reversed situations but I went with it anyway.
We had our chat, and said our goodbyes and she left.
I came back and my work-mate gave me a smirk and said "She's cute. Friend of yours?"
I shrugged and said "Yeah. Friend. She's got a boyfriend though." and laughed it off.
Then we kinda disappeared off each others radars for maybe... 2 or 3 months. I saw her maybe once but we didn't get to talk much as she was flooded with customers and she never came back in to see me.
Recently:
After 2 or 3 months of working days where she wasn't working, I was finally back to having a couple of decent days off. Day off came around, and I decided why not, I'm kinda hungry...
Went around, and sure enough... She was working. She had a look of surprise when I walked in and started off with
"Wow. I haven't seen you in a while."
I responded with "Yeah, sorry for the disappearing act."
She said "It's so funny, a work-mate and I were just talking about you the other day actually. About how we haven't seen you in ages!"
I chuckled and said that I'd been caught up with work, explained the situation and what-not.
I asked her how she was going and she said not so good... I asked why, and it turns out she'd broken up with her boyfriend not too long ago and was pretty cut about it.
The first thing that came to my head was "Opportunity. CHA-CHING!" I ignored that and went with the second option of "Be her friend. Listen to her."
Asked her what was wrong, how it happened and what-not. Got the spiel about how her boyfriend was an ******* to her at the end of their relationship. How she was keeping in contact with his family, but not him because they're nice. Etc.
I got my food and sat down... She kept working and we chatted for a while because it was quiet, then she finished her shift and sat with me.. Chatted a little more about the break-up then she said she had to go... I said I should be getting home too. Walked to each others cars and I finished things with "If you ever need someone to talk to, I've heard I'm pretty good at listening."
She laughed it off and said "I'll be fine. I'm sure I'll have something else to go on about next time you come in anyway."
I came in the following weekend and we talked a little more, asked her how she was going and she responded that she was going well... But was still kinda healing over it and what-not.
Which I thought was fair enough.
I go to buy my food and she asks if I want any cookies as she always does... I say "Yeah. Sure." And she says that if I do, I should wait because she's gonna bake a new set.. The ones right now were pretty bad.
I said "Sure. I've got some time to kill I guess. These had better be some good cookies though."
She laughed sarcastically and replied with "Of course, I made them so they'll be the best."
I sat there for a bit, eating lunch and browsing the internet.. As you do. She seemed busy with other things, so I kinda left her to do her thing.
About 15 minutes later, she tells me they're ready and I go get them. I sit down and eat them, she goes off for a while before coming back and asking me how they were.
"Yeah, they were actually really good." I said.
"See? Told you." she responded.
She went to go get cookies for herself and went to go sit with me, but got interrupted by a customer... Then another one... Then another one. I saw that she wasn't going anywhere, anytime soon so I left it. Said goodbye to her quickly and went home.
Following week, get my food... She comes sits with me... Almost the first thing she opens up with is "I did something really stupid yesterday."
Turns out she'd gone for a night out with some friends and called her ex-boyfriend to pick her up. I scolded her a little asking her if it was what she really wanted to do. She didn't mind, apparently they were on better terms and it didn't feel awkward at all. Good for her.
I asked her what she intended on doing next, if she was going to go back to him and whatnot.
She briefly mentioned that their relationship changed towards the end, they were fighting all the time and as much as she'd love to get back with him... Things would never be like they used to. But, if he was gonna come back to her... She'd make him work the rest of his life for her.
I said "You can do better than him. You don't deserve an *******. You're a funny, genuine girl and you can do way better than him."
In an attempt to come across as confident smiled and said "Of course I can."
Things went on... And we said our goodbyes and left it.
Went and got food the following week (I'd be lying if I said it was entirely about food.) then last week. Had a chat, had lunch... Nothing overly important. Just small talk.
Which brings us... To today.
I'm at work.. I had a late night last night... I'm tired, I've got a lot of work to do and it hadn't been a good couple of weeks for me so I wasn't in the greatest of moods. Who should very randomly happen to come in today but her.
Took me a moment to recognize it was her before my mood picked up immediately and I was in a much better mood.
She said that she was in the area because she went to talk about getting an induction for a new job at a clothes store that is... Kinda near me? Not in the same complex, but close by. Walking distance.
I congratulated her, I knew it was something she'd applied for and she thought it was something she wasn't going to get. Following it up with asking her what she'd be doing about her current job.. If she'd be quitting or what.
She said she was going to see how things go... If she likes it, she'd quit and move to her new job.
I told her that was fair enough...
Then she said
"No one at my work knows about this yet... So can you keep it a secret? Don't tell anyone there. I'm gonna take a couple of days off to see how the induction goes."
I looked at her blankly for a moment before saying
"Of course... Why would I tell anyone?"
She shrugged before telling me that she had to leave to go to university for the day. Quickly said bye and dashed off.
Took a while to actually.. Process what had happened. So many things went through my mind.
Why tell me this? Why now? She could have told me any other time of the week.. She could have waited until the next time I saw her.
Needless to say, I had to ask my friend about it who responded almost immediately with nothing more than "Did you get her number?"
I had no clue what he meant.. He literally had to spell it out for me.
"She came to tell you because if she leaves, she wants to keep in touch. Get her number. She's interested."
I let it sit and simmer for a while... Then ANOTHER of my friends comes in to visit me, we go have lunch together... I tell him what happened, and he said "Add her on Facebook. If you can't get her number, add her on Facebook."
Now, I have one. But I never use it... Like... Ever. Literally. I can count on 1 hand the number of times I've ever even cared about using it.
I told him this, and he asked me to find her on Facebook, I knew her last name right? Which I did... It's true.
He then snatched my phone off me and sent her a friend request himself before giving me my phone back. Before I could say anything about how annoyed I was he did it he said
"You'll thank me later. I did you a favor. You wouldn't have done it anyway."
Which is true. I wouldn't have. But that's besides the point.
--------------------------------------
Anyways. The situation I'm in right now... Is I'm very confused as to the state of everything right now. So I need some outside opinions as to what's happening... I tend to be quite dense when it comes to anything like this, I'm almost oblivious to anything of the sort.
I've had 2 people tell me she's interested in me. I don't think she is... We've been friends for a year and a half. Seems kinda weird that things would change up so quickly.
Am I overthinking things? (Stupid question, I have a nasty habit of overthinking anything and everything) Friends? More than friends?
What do you guys and girls think? Thoughts? Opinions?
Snip)
