No romance for me

[Hawx79]

I wish so much to have a female to love me, care about me and wonder how i am doing when im not with her. I'm 32 male and i never had a relationship with a girl before and everyday and lately the urge of having one has become very strong in me to find a mate. Unfortunately for me this is really difficult as i am very shy, unattractive in looks and body language, cant discuss properly as im very short worded (im a introvert), im poor, no friends, im athletic as i sport everyday but i almost have no social life or skills.
Im just not in demand for women at all, i cant give women a reason to love me i quess but im facing walls that i cant break thru either, so there is a good chance ill always be single witha burning desire to find a woman that is able to love me, but im afraid she doesnt exist!
God i wish to have a nice girl to have romantic relations with. Everyday i pray for this.

 

[firebird85]

I'm younger but in the same rut. I'm forced out because of women and natural selection unfortunately. I have some social skills but my personality isn't what people call "daring". I don't act tough or put on acts, I'm more down to earth and introverted but in today's society being like that can get your genes marked for extinction. Living in poverty, or working a crappy minimum wage job can also get your genes marked for extinction. I didn't decide this, women did when they claim to want financial security. I used to talk with girls at my old workplace but it was only when we weren't working and it wasn't flirting, just work discussion. They were also all taken, which doesn't suprise me. Taken women everywhere, and single men everywhere tells me that one gender isn't moral enough.

Don't believe any of that stuff about women liking tall guys, athletic build, sports player, nice guys, nerds, hipsters, emo, I believe it's all propaganda to go around a broader issue.

If anyone doesn't deserve to procreate it's the thugs in prison who murder elderly people and have a little 4 year old daughter visit them and say "daddy! daddy! I miss you!" when her "daddy" is going to spend life the rest of his life in prison.

You see that all the time, but a good looking, nice, respectful guy with a clean record who never did drugs and doesn't get into trouble and maybe has some nerdy interests and ecentric personality can't find a woman because he's not "desireable" enough.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Seriously? You were warned about your gender stereotyping women bashing.

 

[Ak5]

You're the one who's being undesirable. Acknowledge that, grow up.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

FOCUS.....
Plenty of love and romance in my life.
Its my story and life.
She loves me very much with all her heart and
Soul as i love her....

Beats the heck out of me what everyone else
Thinks or feel. Whatever the heck society, a person
Or groups of people.

I feel she loves me. I know she loves.
I believe she loves me. I allow myself
to be loved by her. I see her love for me.
Shes in love with me.
I appriciate and am grateful for her love.
its all good.....

 

[Sci-Fi]

I wish so much to have a female to love me, care about me and wonder how i am doing when im not with her. I'm 32 male and i never had a relationship with a girl before and everyday and lately the urge of having one has become very strong in me to find a mate. Unfortunately for me this is really difficult as i am very shy, unattractive in looks and body language, cant discuss properly as im very short worded (im a introvert), im poor, no friends, im athletic as i sport everyday but i almost have no social life or skills.
Im just not in demand for women at all, i cant give women a reason to love me i quess but im facing walls that i cant break thru either, so there is a good chance ill always be single witha burning desire to find a woman that is able to love me, but im afraid she doesnt exist!
God i wish to have a nice girl to have romantic relations with. Everyday i pray for this.

Sorry Hawx, I want to focus on you directly here for a moment. Praying isn't going to make it happen. You need to get out there and seek it out. You're not that much younger than me, and it is going to be hard. You've probably spent most of your life thinking the way you do. Trying to break out of that shy introvert is really hard to do. I've tried a few times but get discouraged quickly and go back to what feels comfortable. Praying for love to find me, though I know it just won't unless I do something for it to find me. You gotta do that, get out there and make love find you. Make your prayers come true.

 

[blackdot]

Unfortunately, some of us were just created to not be allowed to have romance.

 

[Hawx79]

Unfortunately, some of us were just created to not be allowed to have romance.

Thx for telling me the painfull truth, i guess im doomed to spend my life rejected and alone for the rest of my life.

 

[Ak5]

Keep thinking like that, and it'll become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

[Lonely in BC]

Unfortunately, some of us were just created to not be allowed to have romance.

Thx for telling me the painfull truth, i guess im doomed to spend my life rejected and alone for the rest of my life.

So you choose to listen (and respond) to negative feedback and not heed anything that actually has merit and is a helpful observation? I guess you've chose your path.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Unfortunately, some of us were just created to not be allowed to have romance.

Thx for telling me the painfull truth, i guess im doomed to spend my life rejected and alone for the rest of my life.

So you choose to listen (and respond) to negative feedback and not heed anything that actually has merit and is a helpful observation? I guess you've chose your path.

Agreed.

I wish people would just come out and say that's what they want to hear that way some of us don't have to waste our time. This really annoys me when people do that, and I'm talking in general too, not just the OP. I had a friend who always asked for advice but really only wanted people to think the same way as her, instead of listening to advice that would actually help her.

 

[putter65]

Unfortunately, some of us were just created to not be allowed to have romance.

Thx for telling me the painfull truth, i guess im doomed to spend my life rejected and alone for the rest of my life.

So you choose to listen (and respond) to negative feedback and not heed anything that actually has merit and is a helpful observation? I guess you've chose your path.

Agreed.

I wish people would just come out and say that's what they want to hear that way some of us don't have to waste our time. This really annoys me when people do that, and I'm talking in general too, not just the OP. I had a friend who always asked for advice but really only wanted people to think the same way as her, instead of listening to advice that would actually help her.

While it is more difficult for an unattractive man or somebody with poor social skills, how can anybody say it is impossible ?

All women are not the same. They see different things in men, they want different things.

It's all about attitude, not taking rejections to heart and keeping a positive attitude. Ask, ask and ask. One day a woman will say 'yes'

Just like doing the lottery. You don't give up after your first go.

 

[Hawx79]

Unfortunately, some of us were just created to not be allowed to have romance.

Thx for telling me the painfull truth, i guess im doomed to spend my life rejected and alone for the rest of my life.

So you choose to listen (and respond) to negative feedback and not heed anything that actually has merit and is a helpful observation? I guess you've chose your path.

Agreed.

I wish people would just come out and say that's what they want to hear that way some of us don't have to waste our time. This really annoys me when people do that, and I'm talking in general too, not just the OP. I had a friend who always asked for advice but really only wanted people to think the same way as her, instead of listening to advice that would actually help her.

I appreciate all advice but im just being down to earth and realistic about my changes with women and i find it almost impossible to find a female that can possible love me for who i am.
I know i sound very negative but im just saying how i feel from my experiences and to how far i can take, its sad but im just being realistic.

 

[Tiina63]

One thing you could try is to develop a wider range of interests. You mention sport, but not anything else. If you were to become interested in other things as well, this would widen your social circle and maybe bring you into contact with more women. Although many women enjoy sport (I ilke to watch tennis) many others don't and it tends to be a male dominated environment.

 

[The Good Citizen]

There should be support groups for shy people wishing to meet someone, there is for everyone else. Surely a circle of shy people all struggling to talk being brought out of themselves in a group environment could benefit people and develop friendships and relationships for people who struggle. You could declare anonymous intrest in someone at the end and if the person hosting it got a match he could let them both know, if not then its not revealed. It might sound daft but having a helping practical hand would surely be a massive boost to some people.

I know single nights exist but they are not aimed at people who are single because they struggle due to shyness. There has to be pracitcal ways of getting people talking and breaking the ice.

Online dating has helped I think but its not for everyone. There must be potentially so many great match up's on this site alone. (There's a couple I already think seem well suited), seems such a waste! Imagine being in a venue where shyness was not only accepted but expected and you knew everyone there was in the same boat, wouldn't that make life a little easier?

Sorry probably off track was just reading what you put and thought isn't it **** that people have to suffer a lonely life. There really is someone for everyone.

 

[blackdot]

The Good Citizen> I know exactly what you are trying to get at. It would be awesome if there was group for only single people and even ones for shy single people.
Every time I see something about a singles event, I read that it is open to anyone. i don't want to be at a singles event surrounded by non-single people. Seems pretty illogical.

A lot of singles events are either church based (which I used to do but never worked for me) or alcohol based (which I don't want to be around).

Then you have the speed date things. Sounds like a pure nightmare.

There are the dating websites but that would require a site where females actually want to date. *laughs*

Plus once you have a shy dating event, you would have to find a way to get the shy people out of their houses. *laughs*

 

[Knight Rider]

Think of it this way.

If that big fat guy who couldn't even get out of bed could find a girl, then anyone can! They rolled his bed down the isle on the day of his wedding and I highly doubt he found his genitals in time for the honeymoon.

There's hope for everyone

 

[Lost for now]

The more attractive you feel, the more attractive you get.

It is wrong for you or anyone else to think women only like attractive guy. Not all, but at least half the women out there will choose the kind, intelligent and nice guy over any "good-looking" or rich guy.

The bottom-line is, as long as you continue to think there's no hope for you, there really isn't going to be any.

 

[putter65]

There should be support groups for shy people wishing to meet someone, there is for everyone else. Surely a circle of shy people all struggling to talk being brought out of themselves in a group environment could benefit people and develop friendships and relationships for people who struggle. You could declare anonymous intrest in someone at the end and if the person hosting it got a match he could let them both know, if not then its not revealed. It might sound daft but having a helping practical hand would surely be a massive boost to some people.

I know single nights exist but they are not aimed at people who are single because they struggle due to shyness. There has to be pracitcal ways of getting people talking and breaking the ice.

Online dating has helped I think but its not for everyone. There must be potentially so many great match up's on this site alone. (There's a couple I already think seem well suited), seems such a waste! Imagine being in a venue where shyness was not only accepted but expected and you knew everyone there was in the same boat, wouldn't that make life a little easier?

Sorry probably off track was just reading what you put and thought isn't it **** that people have to suffer a lonely life. There really is someone for everyone.

Dating agencies used to be for shy, lonely people. Now they have become more mainstream and for normal, everyday people.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

The more attractive you feel, the more attractive you get.

It is wrong for you or anyone else to think women only like attractive guy. Not all, but at least half the women out there will choose the kind, intelligent and nice guy over any "good-looking" or rich guy.

The bottom-line is, as long as you continue to think there's no hope for you, there really isn't going to be any.

Perhaps. However, it's hard to feel attractive when you are consistently dismissed by women because of your looks and/or body type.

I was at a "Meetup" singles dance last week. I had finally gotten up enough courage to actually try to talk to women at one of these things. Everyone I tried to talk to, or asked to dance, basically gave be the brush off. Later, I see some of the same women laughing and chatting it up with a "good looking" guy. How is that supposed to make someone feel?

It may be wrong for us to think that women only like attractive guys, but as a general rule women will not give unattractive guys a chance. It's inbred into humans as a species to seek out potential mates that are perceived as worthy and able to bear good children. Society has it ingrained in people's mind these days that being unattractive, short, overweight, etc are undesirable qualities and people steer away from those attributes as a general rule. I'm sure there are people who don't think this way (me being one of them), but it seems they are few and far between.

So that being said....any women in Atlanta want to be my date to The Hunger Games premier Wed night? LOL Didn't think so.