CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Ramblings… no need to respond … 

Is it okay to be disgusted by men that act too feminine? Like to find it literally unbearable to be around romantically not for them just to exist.
If a man acts anything unlike what I consider a man should be like… I instantly wanna be sick. The harsh reaction I have is due to the need of protection. If a man cannot protect me he is worthless to me as I have money, attention and people that are in love with me that I ignore because I dont deem them man enough.
My father was a real man in my eyes, never cried, not even when he was dying. I am told that my image of him puts an impossible standard on men who wish to be with me.
Even currently, somethings my partner allows are feminine in my opinion but not to the extreme where I would leave. He allowed another man to complain for him and I felt a jolt.. I wondered, are you not man enough to speak for yourself? But I didnt say anything. I respected my place but its small doubts like that… that just get to me. Am I unreasonable, sure. I can acknowledge that, but why is it so hard to find a man who can be manly 24/7?
I want to know he’s a man, he has proven he’d let no harm come to me, he has proven to me he is a protector and a provider. But perhaps I need constant reassurance in that regard. So i’ll never be happy… it’ll never be enough as one wrong move and i’ll wonder if he’d just sit by and watch other men attack me… like he sat by and let another man complain for him.



Is it okay to be disgusted by men that act too feminine? Like to find it literally unbearable to be around romantically not for them just to exist.
If a man acts anything unlike what I consider a man should be like… I instantly wanna be sick. The harsh reaction I have is due to the need of protection. If a man cannot protect me he is worthless to me as I have money, attention and people that are in love with me that I ignore because I dont deem them man enough.
My father was a real man in my eyes, never cried, not even when he was dying. I am told that my image of him puts an impossible standard on men who wish to be with me.
Even currently, somethings my partner allows are feminine in my opinion but not to the extreme where I would leave. He allowed another man to complain for him and I felt a jolt.. I wondered, are you not man enough to speak for yourself? But I didnt say anything. I respected my place but its small doubts like that… that just get to me. Am I unreasonable, sure. I can acknowledge that, but why is it so hard to find a man who can be manly 24/7?
I want to know he’s a man, he has proven he’d let no harm come to me, he has proven to me he is a protector and a provider. But perhaps I need constant reassurance in that regard. So i’ll never be happy… it’ll never be enough as one wrong move and i’ll wonder if he’d just sit by and watch other men attack me… like he sat by and let another man complain for him.