Obsessive thoughts and too much worrying?

[toomanythoughts]

I think I worry about my friend too much? It's becoming obsessive. I need help

How can I stop worrying about her social life so much?
She says that she wants more friends, but doesn't actually do anything about it. She never initiates plans or hangs out with people and instead stays in the room all day long, but doesn't seem to mind. Like for summer vacations, she can stay home all day every day for 3 months and not mind. I guess I'm worried she'll become a hermit or something and never meet people. I'm constantly worried about her social life and it's becoming obsessive. She likes hanging out with people, so I really don't know what's going on in her mind. It seems that she likes hanging out when asked, but she doesn't mind if she doesn't hang out at all. I'm always the one suggesting to go places and say yes to plans a now that I'm leaving college I'm constantly worrying what would she do if I wasn't here? We have met a lot of new people by going to these events and I keep wondering what if we didn't and I wasn't here would she have gone? So now that I'm leaving I don't know if she'll continue to go to events or extracurriculars, so I keep worrying. What will happen when I'm gone? I just want to know how can I stop worrying about her social life? It's becoming obsessive. I know it's not my problem, but it's so hard not to care. I just don't want her to lose all the potential friends she's made and feel lonely?

I think it's hard to just let her go because we are related so I've known her my whole life. Our families are always together so I always see her and I have no idea why her being such a homebody affects me if she seems fine with it. But I guess it does because she is happy when she is hanging out with people. I guess I want to learn how to let go and stop obsessively thinking how I can make her social life better and things she should be doing to make it better. I analyze every social action she does and it's driving me crazy.

 

[Nicolelt]

If she thinks it's a problem she needs to deal with it herself. You cannot really get her to go meet people unless she says, okay, I need to do something about this.

The only way you could help is by inviting her to things, I guess, and have her meet new people through you.

From what it sounds like though, she seems content wether she hangs out with people or not. I can kinda relate to that. I wish I had more friends and more people to talk to, but I really like being by myself in my house.

I don't really why you would need to worry about this, I don't really understand your point of view in this situation. It's great you are concerned with your friend, but why so much? Do you think she is nothing without you? And with technology now, you don't really leave. My best friend lives 3 hours away and we still talk every day.

 

[toomanythoughts]

If she thinks it's a problem she needs to deal with it herself. You cannot really get her to go meet people unless she says, okay, I need to do something about this.

The only way you could help is by inviting her to things, I guess, and have her meet new people through you.

From what it sounds like though, she seems content wether she hangs out with people or not. I can kinda relate to that. I wish I had more friends and more people to talk to, but I really like being by myself in my house.

I don't really why you would need to worry about this, I don't really understand your point of view in this situation. It's great you are concerned with your friend, but why so much? Do you think she is nothing without you? And with technology now, you don't really leave. My best friend lives 3 hours away and we still talk every day.

I guess I worry about it because I want her to be able to experience real friendships and new things. I honestly don't know why it affects me so much though...maybe it's because I would like these things too?

 

[Nicolelt]

If she thinks it's a problem she needs to deal with it herself. You cannot really get her to go meet people unless she says, okay, I need to do something about this.

The only way you could help is by inviting her to things, I guess, and have her meet new people through you.

From what it sounds like though, she seems content wether she hangs out with people or not. I can kinda relate to that. I wish I had more friends and more people to talk to, but I really like being by myself in my house.

I don't really why you would need to worry about this, I don't really understand your point of view in this situation. It's great you are concerned with your friend, but why so much? Do you think she is nothing without you? And with technology now, you don't really leave. My best friend lives 3 hours away and we still talk every day.

I guess I worry about it because I want her to be able to experience real friendships and new things. I honestly don't know why it affects me so much though...maybe it's because I would like these things too?

Well, not to be blunt, then why don't you work on these things for yourself? And then maybe she'll follow your lead.

 

[Tiina63]

It sounds as if you are projecting your own feelings and fears onto her, worrying about her so that you don't worry about yourself.
As Nicolelt has said-work on these things for yourself.