Odd me.

NotARealMan · Jul 4, 2014

Hello there. I never thought I'd get in to this kind of forum.
Anyways..I can't live with myself, that's why I'm here, I guess. Something about me: I'm 20 years old male, I live in east Europe and living here kinda sucks, when it comes to money. Money is all I can think of, and when I'm not thinking about the money, I'm thinking about drugs or suicide. The thing is, I must be very greedy or whatever, I am so desperate that I don't mind stealing, in fact..that's what I wanna do. I don't believe in God or anything else that doesn't exist, I don't give a damn if Satan burns my balls in hell 40 years from now. What hurts the most is the fact that I'm 20 and I've never even had my first kiss. Never got close to a girl. True, I don't know many girls and there's a reason for that. I'm socially awkward. I haven't made a new friend for like..forever. I've never started a conversation with a stranger in my whole life. Probably because I don't like people much. Since I have to deal with all this ****, I smoke weed to ease the pain. Recently I've been doing ecstasy too. Amazing stuff. Really opens you up. Great feeling. Looking forward to doing LSD, should be fun. I guess I'm lonely. I'm just wondering..is there anyone who can relate? Like..do You think that none in the whole world, operates like You do? The feeling, that I do not belong anywhere I go, just never fades away. Am I sick in the head or what..

dawningday · Jul 4, 2014

Hi and welcome.

I can relate to a lot of what you have said, and some I don't. I've never been happy to steal, or anything that was negative. I believe, you can do what you want.....as long as it doesn't hurt yourself or others.
I've been down the same path with the drugs (done most), and tried the suicide thing. This is stuff I don't talk about much (being it so long ago, and I guess the shame aspect for myself). I've been clean, off of drugs for over 10 years now...and I don't drink at all.
This made a big difference for me. That was my starting point, and then I worked on other aspects of myself.....its easier said than done.

I don't know if this helps much.
But welcome to the forums, and I hope you find what you are looking for.

ladyforsaken · Jul 4, 2014

Hey there, welcome to the forum. Sorry that life sucks for you. I guess a lot of us can relate in one way or another. I'll just say that I hope you don't resort to things that will only harm you. There's so much life ahead of you - you've probably heard this a lot about how you're so young being 20 and all. But it's true. There is so much more you can do in your years ahead of you. I'm 25.. and I feel like there is just too little time to do all that I want to do in my lifetime. Things just progress way too slowly for my liking lol.

Anyway, good luck and hope you'll find what you're looking for here.

AmytheTemperamental · Jul 4, 2014

Welcome

Nicolelt · Jul 4, 2014

Welcome to the forum. I don't think people think like I do either.

thelonegamer · Jul 5, 2014

Hey there, welcome

I completely disagree with your stealing attitude but hey, everyone has their own choices, but still disagree. You can do drugs, it's understandable, but being a thief? Come on, you ought to know better.
Best advice I can give to you is to content yourself with weed only. If you go upper, you will find out pills will stop making the desired effects and you will look on forward and forward in search of that euphoria.
I've done heroin and haxixe, pretty much the most dangerous stuff I've ever taken so far, and I did it at 12/13. Trust me, you don't want to go that way.
Buy some chemdawg or sour diesel, never pills.
Welcome again