Oh crap told a girl I miss her on facebook bad idea?

[Innerpeace]

well it has all gone downhill. she used to show a lot of interest in my at work for 6 months or so it was pretty obvious she was coming to me and seemed to like me.

now it has all gone downhill and she is pretty obviously ignoring me. she does not come around me anymore at work when I see her once a week at work she pretty obviously is ignoring me and not coming around me any longer.

I have just given up now but it still hurts cus I had hopes of asking her out and for 6 months or so I was friends with her at work and talking to her etc and now she is ignoring me.

after she added me to facebook and then I told her on facebook that I missed seeing her at work I think after that now that she knows I like her she is no longer interested it seems.

before it was obvious that she was flirting with me etc and trying to get my attention at work and talking to me all the time at work now she ignores me. she went from talking to me all the time at work to pretending she doesn't even know me now.

**** life is confusing and sucks.

she is also extremely good looking I think and maybe she just wanted attention. I'm older and in univerisity and she's in college so maybe she just thought it was cool getting attention fro a guy in university.

I also drive an old porsche (no i'm not rich and it isn't worth much) and she probably just had interest before in getting a guy in uni with a nice car to pay attention to her...

that's my theory at least, now that she knows for sure that I like her she doesn't seem to care anymore.

maybe i'm wrong but yeah now every week when I see her I feel like puking at work seriously, I can't even eat at work when I see her once a week I feel sick and feel like crying like a little girl.

seriously I wish I had no feelings then life would be so much easier......

the pain of being rejected by a girl you thought liked you and you ended up liking a lot is pretty bad.

I'm pissed off because I worked with this girl for over a year and I only started liking her about 6 months ago before that I wasn't even paying attention to her then she started talking to me and I ended up liking her a lot.

anyways enough of my rambling.

I have pretty much given up on girls now.... I'm 23 and never had a girlfriend.

last month I took this girl out on a date and that didn't work out, she cancelled the second date I had with her and now I don't talk to her any longer.

I'm getting pretty depressed now. I have 2 more semesters of university before I graduate with a B.A and I have to get my marks up if I want to get into lawschool which is what I really want to do and my depression and all this **** is bringing me down and my marks also suffer.

 

[DayvanCowboy]

Don't get yourself so down, innerpeace.

I believe she was just using you for attention. If she really liked you and even wanted to be your friend she would have shown it. There would have been NO confusion to that, but since there was, yeah, you were just a nice presence for her once in a while.

Don't fall back into it as well, stay strong and show that you have moved on. I know six months is a long time, but it could have been a lot worse. Be glad you didn't get real intimate or close with her and she just ended up doing the same because you probably would have been in a much rougher spot.

Its tough for anyone your age to be lonely and never have a girlfriend, but to me it seems like you are probably someone that is just misunderstood and is going through a bad streak.

From what I read about you I can tell that you are a thinker. You don't deserve someone like that anyways, and the girl that cancelled the second date with you should not even be bothering you. I know it hurts, but really, it wouldn't have been worth the effort or energy to get to know someone like that because she would have just treated you like ****.

I was just used for attention as well. Whenever her 'guy friend' was unavailable then she would come to me or we would talk during the late night since she had nobody else to talk to. She led me on to believe that something more serious would come the first month we were talking and she lived less than an hour away. The last two weeks she just changed and closed herself away from me. From talking almost 6 hours a night to begging her to open up hurt me so bad. This valentine's day she decided to fly all the way to meet her guy friend while I was by my lonesome. I had enough and ended it. I look back at what has happened and got opinions from other girls and they all said the same thing. I was just being used for some online attention. I am glad it has ended and I don't ever ever want to talk to her again. I would rather be in your shoes because although I would have been hurting like yourself. I would still have a clean sheet and would have not met such a low being like the one I tried to spend so much time with.

There might be that chance where she will come back to talk to you or spend time with you one way or the other, but just try and take it slow and don't get too intense about it. Try and get out there more and I would advise you next time to maybe try and find someone that you don't work with. I have done that once and I would never do it again.

I also just have to say that you are so close to gaining something so many people envy you for having. That is a good education and a chance to have something to help you attain a decent life. If you let this bother you to the point where you might not graduate, then you only have yourself to blame. There are many people on this site that can relate to what you have been through and I just hope you go through with your studies for now and worry about your love life later. You never know, something could pop up anytime and just change everything. For now, don't get too depressed, you will damage yourself more and more to the point where it will take so long to get back to your normal self again.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Hang in there..Innerpeace.

Rejections sucks...especially if you're in love with a person that
rejects you.

I'm guitly of doing the samething...I'm sure of it.
Yeap my consentrations or focus sucked ***....
In other words, i became dyfunctional

Someone had to help me walk through that process a little bit.
If you feel like crying...cry. It's okay

Will....Love yourself first and foremost.
I'm responsible for my feelings...(yes I know it sucks). ..but i chose to be happy inspite of the fucken pains sometimes.
I deserve better...(yes, i do).
As much as I love my ex-gf. I love myself 1000 times more...So there is it.
LET GO....(**** !!! **** !! ****)....ain't easy.
Think of it as growning pains.Try to keep a possitive attitude (faith) as you go through this process..there is light on the other side.
The faith within yourself...not her. You're bigger than your pains. This is just something you're going through.
It's also one of those college couses or experince. No college pionts but kicks *** pionts for living.lol
The school of hard knocks..." How to get over a heartache and Love myself first". lol

If all else fails. Get into another chick...(in other words **** another chick).
But in the process...please try to understand yourself and love yourself first.
It's hard...I know......the answers or happiness are within ourselves....not anything from the outside.

mmm...(me personally) " My feelings won't kill me"...but getting ****** up out of my fucken mind will.
I'll become dyfunctional and have a don't give a **** attitude or ruthless...crank up on 10.
That's how I am.

 

[Innerpeace]

thanks guys. I blame myself for getting to like her. She started talking to me and smiling at me all the time at work and i started talking to her and getting to really like her (she is very good looking) and I thought i had a chance with her. she gave me so many signs that she liked me. I think she had an interest in me at some point but not anymore it's weird.

anyways now every week I see her once a week and even though I know she's ignoring me now I still can't stop myself from liking her and it makes me feel literally sick all day at work. I can't eat when I'm at work with her as I feel like puking.

the stupid thing is that before I got to know her I think it's actually been more than 6 months now more like 8-9 months she's been coming around me at work and talking to me and giving me signs she likes me.

anyways before I got to know her I was working there with her for a year or so before this started and I didn't even talk to her then and wasn't paying attention to her because I just saw her as just a young highschool kid (she's 18 now).

I feel stupid now I used to get excited about seeing her everyweek as she made me feel good when she came to chat with me and talk to me. Well now she just makes me feel like total ****.

she's also the one that added me to facebook right when I signed up wich makes me even more confused as to why she suddenly starts totally ignoring me.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

My ex-gf..dose the samething to me but I lived with her for 12 years.
Idk wtf...., i can see if i was a total **** to her but I wasn't.

Anyway...yeah I didnt know how to stop loving her.
And i still flip out if i she her...She won't talk to me and pretends like I'm fucken dead.
So yeah..I feel for you.

People tell me to not try to figure the **** out ..becuase I'll obsess over it becuase the ****
dosn't make sence to me. I can't fucken resovle it...becuase the **** is fucken wierd.
That's what made me sick , dyfunctional, mentally and emtionally torn up all the time.

Then again...it's simple actaully....SHE DOSNT GIVE A **** ABOUT ME.
SHE FUCKEN USED ME AND ABOUSED ME THEN THREW ME AWAY LIKE FUCKEN TRASH.
I have a hard time accepting this ****....becuase everytime I see her..I dont see her in that light,
I only remember the good times at the earily part of the relationship.

I been getting better a little bit at a time...I'll either focus on myself and do what I need to to.
Thats why I fucken flirt or talk with other women all the time now...So I can stop thinking about her.
I even allow myself to fall in love with someone new.
It gets better a little bit at a time. Its a damn slow process for me.
But the more I try to get on with my life...and allow myself to move on and have feelings for someone else,
the more i relized it wasn't me....SHE's ****** UP.

I don't even think about ex-gf anymore unless i see her or run into her. Then I'll trip for a couple of days.
So yeah that has to be tough if you she this girl all the time.

You're young...don't waste your life away ike i did. I can't have those 12 years back.

 

[Innerpeace]

yeah it hurts so much because I did in a way become obsessed with her seeing her once a week at work then I think about her all week and look forward to seeing her the next week.... that's like the highlight of my week seeing her at work, sounds sad but that's how i felt.

then someone I liked so much now just pretends i don't even exist anymore and seems happy while i'm miserable.

it hurts so bad because I still like her plus now I wonder what's wrong with me? am i not good looking enough for her, am I ugly? is there something wrong with me?

I have given up on girls for now at least, whenever I end up liking a girl I just get stabbed in the heart.

 

[SophiaGrace]

my friend, it seems as though you're being driven nuts by this girl.

Why not end it once and for all?

Buy her a rose, stop her in the parking lot after her shift and tell her that you've admired her from afar for so long and ask her to dinner with you by saying "would you try one date with me? Please?"

You risk hurt feelings if she says no, but what are the benefits?

I'd be flattered if this happened to me and i'd probably say yes

 

[Lonesome Crow]

yeah it hurts so much because I did in a way become obsessed with her seeing her once a week at work then I think about her all week and look forward to seeing her the next week.... that's like the highlight of my week seeing her at work, sounds sad but that's how i felt.

then someone I liked so much now just pretends i don't even exist anymore and seems happy while i'm miserable.

it hurts so bad because I still like her plus now I wonder what's wrong with me? am i not good looking enough for her, am I ugly? is there something wrong with me?

I have given up on girls for now at least, whenever I end up liking a girl I just get stabbed in the heart.

yeap, it messes with my selfesteem.
I ran all those questions through mind over and over again.
Am i not good enough for her or WTF is it that i did so wrong to
make her treat like that ? I would never treat anyone like she's
treating me. Heck, I've been with girls hotter than her and they
don't treat me like that. They at least say hello to me or sometimes
talk to me or even give me a hug. I'm sorry if you had never
been with another girl before...becuase for me that's something
that i can always look back upon...I've been with women hotter
and nicer than her. Heck, Ive even been flirting with a woman
that's hotter than her.

yeah...for a while, while I felt so so bad about myself everytime
I thought of my ex...It made me sick or feel like crap either way.
I didn't think i was ever going to get over her...
So yeah...the theory of guys dosn't have any feelings or don't
know what love is....that's just totally wrong.

Be strong and try to move forward with your life.
I had to take little steps...every little steps i take away from
my ex...the better i feel about myself or i don't feel sick.
That's been the pattern...

 

[Innerpeace]

my friend, it seems as though you're being driven nuts by this girl.

Why not end it once and for all?

Buy her a rose, stop her in the parking lot after her shift and tell her that you've admired her from afar for so long and ask her to dinner with you by saying "would you try one date with me? Please?"

You risk hurt feelings if she says no, but what are the benefits?

I'd be flattered if this happened to me and i'd probably say yes

nah that wouldn't work. she's freakin totally ignoring me. she won't come and say hi to me anymore or anything. I still say hi to her when I see her but she won't chat with me anymore.

she'll like give me a one word answer and walk away. before she was the one that used to come around me all the time and chat with me so it's obvious she's avoiding and ignoring me now.

asking a girl out that is ignoring and avoiding you seems pretty stupid.


yeah she did and is still driving me nuts. when she's avoiding me and ignoring me it makes me feel pretty sick because I like her so much and when i come home after work I just feel sick and can't sleep till like 4 am sometimes.

she knows I like her but she probably has no idea that I like her this much and that her acting like this towards me is making me feel so bad.

 

[Innerpeace]

the only way I can forget about her is if I quit my job but I can't do that right now i'm still in school and need this part time job and don't really feel like changing jobs.

I'm probably just messed up in the head or something but even though she now is just ignoring me for the past few weeks I still kind of look forward to seeing her again next week thinking maybe this week will be different which is stupid. she's messed with my head before. once she stopped coming around me and ignoring me for 2 weeks and then she started coming around me again and talking to me etc which made me confused.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Yeah...that's what my sponsor told me...I'm kind of messed up in the head.lol

I was all wacked out 4-5 months ago but he understood me and the way i process my thinking.
Basically he dose the samething.

It's not so much that loving someone or having feeling for someone is wrong.
It's not even that I dont love her...its that I love her too much.

Anyway..he gave me some simple tools i can use or apply.
It's simple but not easy...but I had to apply it 5 mins at a time.
Bascailly he told me to turn it over or put it on the shelf.
I needed to focus on my work and i was having a hell of a time
doing that. I needed to stop obsessing on my ex or the problems
I couldn't resolved...That's why I obsess becuase I could't resolved
it.

Just bacially let go....Let Go 5 mins at a time.

I also tell myself every morning that I love myself.
I say those things to myself. Just so i can hear myself say it...
beucase all the crap was messing with my self esteem.

Last weekend I flipped out becuase I ran into my ex again.
I had to talk to my sponsor about it...and even cried about it.
But he told me over and over again...that i deseve better than that.

There's all kinds of people in my support group that's helping me
get through this...and they all tell me the samething...
" I deserve better" I actaully had 2 beautiful women hold
me tight as i broke down in tears...Just to process my feelings
for what they were. One of them the other night suggested
to me that I should say that out loud to myself.
" I deserve better"

I get hugs from a lot of men and women from my support
groups...I'm just one of those people that needs love and
effection or human contacts. It's healing for me.
Kind of like if you just feed a baby just food and water and
not hold it or love it..the baby donst do so well or get sick more
often.

 

[DayvanCowboy]

she's messed with my head before. once she stopped coming around me and ignoring me for 2 weeks and then she started coming around me again and talking to me etc which made me confused.

You are being stringed along. Used for attention. That is all. I'm sorry, but you really need to realize that. Lots of girls do this and I bet that if you bring this part up with others, they will say the same thing I have said.

I've experienced that and it only hurts because deep down you know that you have been alone on the way you feel about her the whole time. She never felt the same way. I'm sorry Innerpeace. Just try to move on as best as you can.

Take care.

 

[Innerpeace]

yeah that makes me sad that I liked her so much and I was positive she liked me too but now she is showing that the doesn't care at all.

it's weird though I swear that before she liked me. I had so many signs or at least I thought so.

I'd always catch her looking at me from across the room and then she'd turn away when I caught her. she'd always come and hang around me, when she saw me leaving for my lunch she'd leave too and come and sit next to me at lunch and talk to me, she'd always give me a big smile everytime she saw meetc.

she's really good looking though, like probably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen so maybe she just liked getting attention also like I said she's still in highschool graduating in a couple months and is 18 now when I started talking to her she was 17.

normally I do not even bother talking to girls 17-18 they're usually immature but she seemed different like I actually had conversations with her and she sounds really smart but sometimes you could tell she is still so young.


I should just try and get over this but I will probably see her again this weekend sometimes I don't depending on the schedule once I did not see her for 2 weeks but usually I see her once a week so it sucks. I get sick at work everytime, like actually physically sick.


I have been getting pretty depressed over this, I seem to get depressed easily from things like this.

anyways I'm a big fan of pink floyd and like these lyrics.

Mother do think she's dangerous to me
Mother will she tear your little boy apart
Oooh aah, mother will she break my heart
Hush now baby, baby don't you cry

 

[Innerpeace]

and forgot to mention, thanks for the replies everyone. People here seems so understanding.

I try to forget about about this girl by focusing on my goals to do better in school so I have a chance to get in lawschool and I try to keep busy and not sitting around thinking about this but it's still always on my mind.... and I know in a couple of days teh weekend will come and I will likely see her again at work and it makes me anxious.

 

[SophiaGrace]

my friend, it seems as though you're being driven nuts by this girl.

Why not end it once and for all?

Buy her a rose, stop her in the parking lot after her shift and tell her that you've admired her from afar for so long and ask her to dinner with you by saying "would you try one date with me? Please?"

You risk hurt feelings if she says no, but what are the benefits?

I'd be flattered if this happened to me and i'd probably say yes

nah that wouldn't work. she's freakin totally ignoring me. she won't come and say hi to me anymore or anything. I still say hi to her when I see her but she won't chat with me anymore.

she'll like give me a one word answer and walk away. before she was the one that used to come around me all the time and chat with me so it's obvious she's avoiding and ignoring me now.

asking a girl out that is ignoring and avoiding you seems pretty stupid.


yeah she did and is still driving me nuts. when she's avoiding me and ignoring me it makes me feel pretty sick because I like her so much and when i come home after work I just feel sick and can't sleep till like 4 am sometimes.

she knows I like her but she probably has no idea that I like her this much and that her acting like this towards me is making me feel so bad.

oh ok

I guess you just have to learn to get over her then.

Perhaps you'll find someone when you get into law school.

*hugs*

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Well....My ex-gf cuased more fucken dramma in my life again today.
I hope she burns in fucken hell.
I'm seriously sick in the fucken head after living with her all these years.
As i said before..anytype of contact , associations I have with her makes me fucken sick than sick.
So excuse the **** out of me if I jack this thread..Or maybe it's a sign or a warning..IDK.
I have to let this **** out....
Fucken *****..fucken ***** fucken *****.
Ya lying, cheating, manipulating, narcisus, **** sucking fucken *****.

Damn it...12 years into the fucken woods...I pray to god it dosn't take me 12 more fucken years
to rid of this fucken ***** from my life.

 

[darkwall]

Trying to say pretty much anything meaningful on Facebook is a bad idea.

 

[Innerpeace]

thanks for the replies guys.

I checked my work schedule today and I will work with her one day this weekend again.. but next weekend she is not working and week after that I'm not sure.

It sucks I know I will get really anxious and sick at work again when I see her this weekend. last week she walked by me and didn't even say hi. I still said hi to her when I ran into her though. she did this to me before also like I said and i started ignoring her too and not going around her and then after 2 weeks she started coming around me again.

now she's been ingoring me for the past couple weeks and i just want to forget about her but I can't.

yeah I wish I could meet another girl that I like so much and liked me as much in return but i'm not lucky enough for that to happen.


i'm 23 turning 24 in july and never had a girlfriend. have gone out on one date , that's it.

there have only been 2 girls I've really liked this girl now and another girl and it never worked with either which sucks. The other girl I also thought liked me but I never asked her out and she started avoiding me too. Then she quit at my work and i never saw her again but she kept on sending her friend to my work to talk to me so I tought she probably did like me but I screwed up by never asking her out.

maybe I'm awkward or something else about me (looks? personality? I don't know), everyone else my age seems to have had a ton of girlfriends.

or maybe everyone has problems.

 

[Brian]

maybe I'm awkward or something else about me (looks? personality? I don't know), everyone else my age seems to have had a ton of girlfriends.

I could not possibly be closer to knowing exactly how you feel.
>_<

I feel your pain bud.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

maybe I'm awkward or something else about me (looks? personality? I don't know), everyone else my age seems to have had a ton of girlfriends.

I could not possibly be closer to knowing exactly how you feel.
>_<

I feel your pain bud.

You worry too much.
Just **** all of them. Anyone, anywhere and everywhere.
It's like a canni store. Try out all the flavors.

Use it before you lose it. Maybe you're not suppost to
get married and settle down at the moment.
Maybe you're just suppost to be single and have a bang.
You only live once....
It's like some poeple missed out on thier childhood.
Will...some poeple missed out on their 20's

Or fine an older woman in her 30's. If you want to settle down.
She'll love you to death and **** your brains out too.
She's probably more settled in her carreer and more mature.
She'll probably be more sexually mature and do things to you that you'll never forget
If she dons't have a kid...she'll probably want some.
Her body tells her the clock is ticking.

It's the way you precieve things.
You can always look at it from a different piont of view or perspective.

I'm getting used to being single again...the more i forget about my ex, the more I'm adjusting.
**** it...i don't worry anymore. I'm starting to flirt more and more. I have radars for **** and ***.
This had been my experince....The moment that I feel like I'm having the fucken time of my life being
single..Doing whatever i want to do, when I want to...without having to worry about anyone else..
It's when I'm at that pinicle. Life fucken changes. Nothing, nothing last forever.
Generally a woman of my wildest dreams will come into my life...out of the fucken blues she'll show up.
This also the reason why every woman I've ever gotten involve in a long term relationship had asked me out.
What I usually struggle with is not so much if I'll have a hard time asking her out or being with her when I'm at that stage or mind set.
It's the opposite. I struggle with letting go of the single life style.
I was dating 5-6 women...juggling them when i met my ex-gf.
F-it, i don't worry what people say or think about me. whether i was a **** or a stud.
I was single and dating instead of crying over my previouse GF.
I cried over her..it was time for me to move on.
I got stood up and rejected by many, many woman i asked out...Oh fucken will, i licked my wounds and moved forward.
Dating is like a journey...there's different stages you'll go through.
Just like going through a break up...there's stages you'll go through.