People don't notice me

[Aleksmath]

Hi,

Frankly, this post is just my attempt to speak to someone)

I think, my problem is that people don't notice me. They talk to me only if it is necessarily. Behind that, they don't concider me as a person to chat to, or to go to a bar with, or whatever. May someone give advice how to change it?

 

[flaneur]

Hi,

I'd say be more outgoing, but if people don't appreciate you for who you are, then maybe you're better off changing the environment you're searching in. Perhaps you should try frequenting places where people might share your hobbies.

 

[Harkat]

Perhaps you come across as forced ...
like someone who is trying to have a conversation, or as someone who doesn't want to talk to people.
It seems to me that people make subjective judgments about others based on what they think the other person is. If that made sense.
So perhaps you would have better luck by being happy for no reason than by wanting people to talk to you.
Or perhaps change your intent

 

[Sci-Fi]

Hi,

I'd say be more outgoing, but if people don't appreciate you for who you are, then maybe you're better off changing the environment you're searching in. Perhaps you should try frequenting places where people might share your hobbies.

This ^

 

[Anten]

people don't normally just come up to a random person and start talking. You need to build up a rapport which may turn into a friendship.

 

[Aleksmath]

Thank you for your responses.

to Flaneur: perhaps, you are right. But very often, it is just too hard to change the environment, especially without any support. Hobbies is a good idea, anyway. I think, we plunge into our work and hobby to forget about the problems. It brings a little happiness though.

to Anten: I don't mean random people. I mean people I'm working with.

Ok. Let's say, I'm boring and too serious, and people are not interested in talking to me. But why everyone? Is there anyone who would like to spend some time with me? I don't know.

 

[Anten]

Work friendships rarely extend outside of work but sometimes you can find people who share very similar interests.

 

[vol]

hi alek,
i see this in my own life. I can feel like the person on the outside looking into the social circles around me.
The thing is Everyone wants to be accepted, everyone wants to feel valued. The issue with me is that i am an internal processor, i view the world as how it best suits 'me' sort of thing and expect others to come to me. i don't look to accomodate other people easily or naturally. so alek consider this; Start trying to find a way to love someone, haha not romantically. but simply. take notice of what they value and talk positively about it. it won't be easy. you will stumble at first...but start looking at others and finding what they like. People like to be noticed, just like you do. Just don't go into stalker mode haha. You may find the issue was never that they didn't notice you, it's that they had no pathway to know you, no positive reason to socialize with you. Sometimes you gotta give in order to get. But don't be a push over or let them walk all over you. respect yourself and you may also find they will start respecting you...just some thoughts for you to think on..