People with spouses/partners who come here

[Masque]

A relationship can't be your whole world. What if you had none of the love you currently have, perhaps no family, friends, social acceptance, self-esteem, or even capacity to socialize normally, but had a spouse?

Thank you for your response. I know a relationship can't be my whole world. I don't know what I said in my post to imply that.

The idea that there's something sad or unusual about people in relationships being on a site for loneliness.

 

[Naleena]

A relationship can't be your whole world. What if you had none of the love you currently have, perhaps no family, friends, social acceptance, self-esteem, or even capacity to socialize normally, but had a spouse?

Thank you for your response. I know a relationship can't be my whole world. I don't know what I said in my post to imply that.

The idea that there's something sad or unusual about people in relationships being on a site for loneliness.

Maybe I wasn't clear enough. I didn't mean to imply they all were, but some of them. We do have those who say they are in relationships and are lonely. Thanks for pointing that out <3 xx

 

[VanillaCreme]

Yeah, I can't live out in the middle of nowhere for the rest of years. As much as I love being away from people, I can't do without normal things for much longer.

 

[Naleena]

Yeah, I can't live out in the middle of nowhere for the rest of years. As much as I love being away from people, I can't do without normal things for much longer.

LOL! I like the middle of nowhere Are you still in the same area as you were when you visited Eve?

 

[VanillaCreme]

Yeah, I can't live out in the middle of nowhere for the rest of years. As much as I love being away from people, I can't do without normal things for much longer.

LOL! I like the middle of nowhere Are you still in the same area as you were when you visited Eve?

Ahah! That wasn't even supposed to go in this thread! What was I thinking... I didn't even notice it was the wrong thread. No, I'm not, I've moved. In SC, I was basically on a major highway with plenty of things around. Here, I get field and trees.

 

[Naleena]

Yeah, I can't live out in the middle of nowhere for the rest of years. As much as I love being away from people, I can't do without normal things for much longer.

LOL! I like the middle of nowhere Are you still in the same area as you were when you visited Eve?

Ahah! That wasn't even supposed to go in this thread! What was I thinking... I didn't even notice it was the wrong thread. No, I'm not, I've moved. In SC, I was basically on a major highway with plenty of things around. Here, I get field and trees.

ROFLMAO!!! Field of trees. It must be a shock to go from one to the other..lol

 

[mari1969]

I guess when I think of having a partner, I see them as my closest friend and someone I could share most anything with. I guess what I want is a very intimate, supportive and loving relationship. I haven't met anyone who quite meets that and I really wonder if thats why I'm alone. Is it unrealistic to think someone could give that to me? I'm not so sure about my life right now as things happen that make me look at it. It would have been nice to have had a partner this past week to share with and be loved by. While I have a lot of love in my life, there are some things only a partner can provide. Ok, Im waffling on now.....

I feel the same way. I think a lot of people want this, but I also think a lot of people get together for the wrong reasons.

It would have been nice to have had a partner this past week to share with and be loved by.

I can relate to this all too well. At my current job, everyone in my department has to go on-call for a week every month. For me, it's very stressful and is a major source of anxiety in my life, even when I'm not on-call because I know I'll have to do it again after a few weeks. It would be nice if I had a 'partner' to 'hold my hand' (figuratively of course) while I'm on-call.

 

[ardour]

The first thing that comes to mind is "you don't appreciate your spouse or partner enough", but trying to be fair, one person can't take on a role as the be-all in anyone's life. But yeah it can be grating, they don't experience true isolation, the shear mind-numbing boredom of having no-one outside of family to speak to (and some people don't even have family)

 

[Tiina63]

Which trade X?

I'm an IT tech - and as such I've had fairly few people I know recently strike up a conversation with me for reasons other than their technical issues.

I don't mind helping people out, and I've helped numerous people out on here and will continue to do so whenever anyone needs me, but it takes the piss when someone claims to be your friend/acquaintance or you've known them for years and they contact you once in a blue moon, ask how you are etc and then within 5 mins they give their true intentions away by asking for technical assistance. Then they disappear again until next time.

I have a similiar situation with an aquaintance. She only contacts me when she is going away to see if I will go in to feed her cats. She emailed me recently about this and I emailed back and said I would, and I also added some info about a difficult situation I am in. She replied two weeks later thanking me for agreeing to feed the cats, but didn't mention my situation. I feel so used. I can sympathise with you Lady X because it does feel horrible when someone wants you around to do them a favour, but then doesn't give a damn about your worries. I wonder if they are aware of the impression they are giving of themselves or are we so unimportant in their eyes that they don't even bother to think at all.

 

[Shipster0958]

The first thing that comes to mind is "you don't appreciate your spouse or partner enough", but trying to be fair, one person can't take on a role as the be-all in anyone's life. But yeah it can be grating, they don't experience true isolation, the shear mind-numbing boredom of having no-one outside of family to speak to (and some people don't even have family)

I don't believe it has anything to do with a spouse. I have a spouse and a child and that fulfills me in many ways, but I have little to no friends here, and I've lost touch with old ones, and the little family I have is very far away.

I don't believe loneliness is a measurement that can be measured in how many people you have around you. It's a feeling that is conjured up inside you, and one person alone cannot satisfy every facet of that feeling. I miss having girlfriends greatly, I miss having someone I can call up and plan to go to lunch with, and sometimes I resent when my husband has friends over or goes and does something with them. This isn't a healthy feeling to have I know, and that's when loneliness can become amplified.

I miss my family and wish I had a circle of friends again. As wonderful as my husband is, he can't fulfill everything like that for me.

 

[Tiina63]

In a book about loneliness by Emily White she talks about emotional loneliness and social loneliness. The first is when we may have friends but no loving partner. The second is when we have a close partner but no friends. Both types of loneliness are very painful.

 

[Walley]

^^ agreed!

I am happily married.
but the thing is, many people have friends yet still feel empty and incomplete without love or a "soul mate" in their lives right?
well, it goes both ways too. even those with a soul mate and content home life, can feel empty and lonely without friendships and connections with others on a social level.
that is where i'm at.
sorry, was at, before I came here and found some friends =)

 

[Edward W]

^^ agreed!

I am happily married...

...that is where i'm at.
sorry, was at, before I came here and found some friends =)

Yup, sums me up too!

 

[ladyforsaken]

^^ agreed!

I am happily married...

...that is where i'm at.
sorry, was at, before I came here and found some friends =)

Yup, sums me up too!

Aww, you two are so alike lol.

 

[hobit124]

I wonder why people believe in partners and boy/girl friends. Why dont' they get marry the same guy or girl instead of passing time with him/ her and having sexual relationship before marriage? I believe that this only can increase their frustration for being living together firstly by knowing each other closely and secondly by rejection if one of them start disliking the other.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Why dont' they get marry the same guy or girl instead of passing time with him/ her ...

LOL, isn't that like having cans of food in your pantry with no labels and just randomly selecting one? No telling what you will find when you open it.

 

[Shipster0958]

Why dont' they get marry the same guy or girl instead of passing time with him/ her ...

LOL, isn't that like having cans of food in your pantry with no labels and just randomly selecting one? No telling what you will find when you open it.

True. You don't want to go in there for your sweet peaches and come out with crusty old sloppy joe mix.