Photographs

[putter65]

I went out last night, this work colleague was leaving, so we all went for a meal. I don't like group gatherings like this but rather enjoyed this one. Usually I want to go home after an hour or so because nobody talks to me but I was quiet sociable this time.

One thing, photographs !

I detest having my photo taken and do my best not to appear in any photo's. Everybody else though, they seem obsessed about. They took an endless amount of photo's. At first, I refused to be in them and I was the one taking the photo's. But then I was forced to appear in them. The only good thing was I got to put my arm around a few women which was nice.

They had these digital cameras and they kept saying 'that's a nice one of you' - but I refused to look at them. I don't know if I have some kind of phobia, I avoid looking at my reflection in windows and only look in mirrors when I have to.

 

[cumulus.james]

I went out last night, this work colleague was leaving, so we all went for a meal. I don't like group gatherings like this but rather enjoyed this one. Usually I want to go home after an hour or so because nobody talks to me but I was quiet sociable this time.

One thing, photographs !

I detest having my photo taken and do my best not to appear in any photo's. Everybody else though, they seem obsessed about. They took an endless amount of photo's. At first, I refused to be in them and I was the one taking the photo's. But then I was forced to appear in them. The only good thing was I got to put my arm around a few women which was nice.

They had these digital cameras and they kept saying 'that's a nice one of you' - but I refused to look at them. I don't know if I have some kind of phobia, I avoid looking at my reflection in windows and only look in mirrors when I have to.

Firstly it is really good you managed to go to a social event and enjoy it - that's what its all about so hopefully you will feel a bit more confident to go to more of them. The more thing like this you do the less you will end up lonely.

But the camera thing i can relate to. I think it is some kind of anxiety that is to do with self loathing and a warped sense of self image. I find it quite sad that besides 3 or 4 dodgy self webcam profile pics there are no pictures of me in existence from the age of about 12 and even there there are few pictures of me as a child.

The other day I was having a great day but I happened to catch a glance of myself in a reflective window on the way home and my heart sank and I fell into a deep depression. I avoid shaving because it pains me to have to look in the mirror. So I am totally with you. But I don't know the cure.

There is a condition called body dysmorphia but I know little about it. It could apply to you and I perhaps.

In my case a clue to the cause for the problem could be the fact very few pictures were taken of me as a child or in my teens due to a lack of love and affection. If you have never been loved by anyone then how can you be expected to love yourself? Could that be an issue with you?

 

[putter65]

The only photo's of myself I like are when I was a child.

I'm just not photogenic and can't seem to look natural in a photograph. In fact the last photo's that I can look at and not wince are when I'm about 14 to 15. Everything after that is just horrible.

I do shave though, I'm not that bad. But yes I understand you, my confidence just sinks when I see myself in a photo or catch sight of myself in a window etc.

Of course everybody else it seems just love to pose in front of a camera. They seem to love the attention.

 

[cumulus.james]

The only photo's of myself I like are when I was a child.

I'm just not photogenic and can't seem to look natural in a photograph. In fact the last photo's that I can look at and not wince are when I'm about 14 to 15. Everything after that is just horrible.

I do shave though, I'm not that bad. But yes I understand you, my confidence just sinks when I see myself in a photo or catch sight of myself in a window etc.

Of course everybody else it seems just love to pose in front of a camera. They seem to love the attention.

I mean look at it this way - Lady Gaga is the style icon of this decade, but she is no looker with that great crook nose and long featureless face. What she projects to others and what she sees in here self is not about looks its about something else. The point here is that even if your ugly you can project attractiveness not just to others but yourself. Whatever it is that she sees in the mirror others see in here we see the opposite of.

Here's a thing I would like you to do - go to a mirror (actually go to a mirror don't just humor me) and stare at yourself for a good 2 minuets then come back and tell me what you see and also what you feel.

 

[putter65]

The only photo's of myself I like are when I was a child.

I'm just not photogenic and can't seem to look natural in a photograph. In fact the last photo's that I can look at and not wince are when I'm about 14 to 15. Everything after that is just horrible.

I do shave though, I'm not that bad. But yes I understand you, my confidence just sinks when I see myself in a photo or catch sight of myself in a window etc.

Of course everybody else it seems just love to pose in front of a camera. They seem to love the attention.

I mean look at it this way - Lady Gaga is the style icon of this decade, but she is no looker with that great crook nose and long featureless face. What she projects to others and what she sees in here self is not about looks its about something else. The point here is that even if your ugly you can project attractiveness not just to others but yourself. Whatever it is that she sees in the mirror others see in here we see the opposite of.

Here's a thing I would like you to do - go to a mirror (actually go to a mirror don't just humor me) and stare at yourself for a good 2 minuets then come back and tell me what you see and also what you feel.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I see a decent looking fella looking back. I think the problem is my face defaults into a frown and I have to force my face into a smile. And I don't always do that in photo's. That's the thing I don't like, not my face itself. It's not that bad, I do have nice eyes, a few women have commented on them. It's my expression, just so miserable. That's what I hate.

 

[putter65]

They finally appeared on facebook, one isn't that bad. The rest are awfull, I pull so many stupid faces. No wonder people think I'm odd because I look odd. People say they are nice but they are lying.

 

[cumulus.james]

They finally appeared on facebook, one isn't that bad. The rest are awfull, I pull so many stupid faces. No wonder people think I'm odd because I look odd. People say they are nice but they are lying.

Would love to see. but I dont have facebook

 

[putter65]

They finally appeared on facebook, one isn't that bad. The rest are awfull, I pull so many stupid faces. No wonder people think I'm odd because I look odd. People say they are nice but they are lying.

Would love to see. but I dont have facebook

After I saw them I came over all funny, started sweating buckets, my neck started hurting, I had a sore throat and a headache. I went to bed and burst into tears. It's the shame of looking like I do. I wonder if I've got that BDD, I'm going to look into it.

 

[IgnoredOne]

After I saw them I came over all funny, started sweating buckets, my neck started hurting, I had a sore throat and a headache. I went to bed and burst into tears. It's the shame of looking like I do. I wonder if I've got that BDD, I'm going to look into it.

You definitely have some complex with your own image, though I too can sympathize. What helped for me was to force myself to look at myself in the mirror and then begin to make observations about myself - neither negative nor positive, but objective ones. Simple, objective ones that don't carry any 'bad' or 'good' value. It helps establish that you're just human like the rest of them.

 

[jacob622]

it's really very nice to go trough your post as i found its very interesting one to read and also i enjoyed lot after reading your post ......
thanks for shearing.....
Lovegra

 

[jacob622]

it's really very nice to read your post thanks for shearing as i enjoyed lot after reading your post...

 

[SophiaGrace]

Probably a symptom of bad self esteem.

 

[putter65]

After I saw them I came over all funny, started sweating buckets, my neck started hurting, I had a sore throat and a headache. I went to bed and burst into tears. It's the shame of looking like I do. I wonder if I've got that BDD, I'm going to look into it.

You definitely have some complex with your own image, though I too can sympathize. What helped for me was to force myself to look at myself in the mirror and then begin to make observations about myself - neither negative nor positive, but objective ones. Simple, objective ones that don't carry any 'bad' or 'good' value. It helps establish that you're just human like the rest of them.

It was a strange reaction, I'm okay now.

I'm going out this saturday with work colleague, this time I will refuse to appear in photographs.

 

[IgnoredOne]

After I saw them I came over all funny, started sweating buckets, my neck started hurting, I had a sore throat and a headache. I went to bed and burst into tears. It's the shame of looking like I do. I wonder if I've got that BDD, I'm going to look into it.

You definitely have some complex with your own image, though I too can sympathize. What helped for me was to force myself to look at myself in the mirror and then begin to make observations about myself - neither negative nor positive, but objective ones. Simple, objective ones that don't carry any 'bad' or 'good' value. It helps establish that you're just human like the rest of them.

It was a strange reaction, I'm okay now.

I'm going out this saturday with work colleague, this time I will refuse to appear in photographs.

Avoidance is not the method to overcome one's phobias.

 

[putter65]

After I saw them I came over all funny, started sweating buckets, my neck started hurting, I had a sore throat and a headache. I went to bed and burst into tears. It's the shame of looking like I do. I wonder if I've got that BDD, I'm going to look into it.

You definitely have some complex with your own image, though I too can sympathize. What helped for me was to force myself to look at myself in the mirror and then begin to make observations about myself - neither negative nor positive, but objective ones. Simple, objective ones that don't carry any 'bad' or 'good' value. It helps establish that you're just human like the rest of them.

It was a strange reaction, I'm okay now.

I'm going out this saturday with work colleague, this time I will refuse to appear in photographs.

Avoidance is not the method to overcome one's phobias.

Fair point but if I appear in more photo's and they get plastered all over facebook, I will get upset again. The only answer is I learn to pose for photo's better or become more attractive (which isn't going happen).

In one photo, they have taken it without me knowing and the face I'm pulling ! - it's no wonder how everything was difficult for me. From meeting a woman to getting a job.

Photo's are reminders on how I look and I don't want to see them !