Power Struggles

[isthatso]

How many of your relationships feel like power struggles?

Let me dominate this conversation before you can. Hurry up and finish your turn so I can say what I want to say. Minimise the other person's opinion. Maxinimise your own.

A lot of people see listening as a weakness, I'm sure. And don't even try manipulating me! I, however, am entitled to manipulate you at any time. Come on. You must agree with what I'm saying!

I seem to be meeting people at work whose whole conversation is based on getting you to empathise and agree with their plight, their point of view, their prejudices towards certain people. In other words, constant "politicking".

I often feel I have to keep a sense of self. Otherwise I will get swallowed up by the other person's ego.

 

[Lefty Lonely]

Oh yeah, I've met few who don't do this to some degree or another. My own grandmother is rather guilty of it *sighs*

 

[Tealeaf]

None of them, except with a few family members.

Isn't the point of a conversation to make yourself heard by another person? And not just in words? Why is someone trying to get you to empathize with them or understand their views negative unless they have you physically trapped in a corner and are telling you in these exact words that you are stupid and your views are wrong?

Tons of conversations here are about getting people to empathize or explain to someone why they think this or that is such and such.

 

[isthatso]

Tons of conversations here are about getting people to empathize or explain to someone why they think this or that is such and such.

I feel validated by your reply.

Of course so I guess I can be called a hypocrite for complaining. Just my observation that in many relationships there is a power struggle going on.

I'm very grateful for people reading my posts here. Hopefully I can repay that debt. Generally speaking, I don't see power struggles going on here. Probably why I like it.

 

[Tiina63]

Yes, I think that many relationships contain a power struggle. And the closer the relationship is supposed to be, the worse it can be. Power struggles in a work setting can be expected to an extent, but I have found that it is power struggles in friendships and other close relationships which are the more painful. It is hard to be with someone you should feel close to and safe with, but to be always on edge waiting for the next putdown, and trying to prepare to defend yourself.

 

[Gutted]

I think potentially all relationships at some point become a power struggle. At least until someone gives in. Some Men might find that if they don't let the Woman run the relationship, they wont get their desired intimacy. Sexual blackmail, lol.

I am familiar with this!

"I seem to be meeting people at work whose whole conversation is based on getting you to empathise and agree with their plight, their point of view, their prejudices towards certain people. In other words, constant "politicking".

I often feel I have to keep a sense of self. Otherwise I will get swallowed up by the other person's ego."

A lot of people like to do this with me. I sometimes think they just like to have someone to dump their thoughts on. Someone who wont do the same back because they have excellent social skills