Question for the women on here

[holsten1]

Have you ever found someone unattractive, only to change your mind months or years later?

I'm not talking about someone who you didn't like on first impression that you warmed to within a few days/weeks. I'm talking more along the lines of someone who you gradually changed your mind about over a long period of time, and then realised you were maybe attracted to them.

If so, what was it that changed? Something in you, or them? Details would be helpful.

 

[Hoffy]

It's sounds bad, but I've met guys I didn't really think we're all that cute, but after I got to know them, especially if they were a good person I started to find them attractive. That's just me though. A guy can be absolutely gorgeous, but if he's a prick, he is the ugliest person to me. Is it you who is finding someone attractive later or wondering about someone else?

 

[Equinox]

It's sounds bad, but I've met guys I didn't really think we're all that cute, but after I got to know them, especially if they were a good person I started to find them attractive.

That doesn't sound bad at all. It sounds like you value people for who they are and not what they look like, which is a good thing.

 

[holsten1]

It's sounds bad, but I've met guys I didn't really think we're all that cute, but after I got to know them, especially if they were a good person I started to find them attractive. That's just me though. A guy can be absolutely gorgeous, but if he's a prick, he is the ugliest person to me. Is it you who is finding someone attractive later or wondering about someone else?

I'm wondering about someone else.

I've had an unrequited thing going on for the past 3-4 years. We've been very good friends throughout that time, and she's only known for about 2 months. We're still friends and talk every day.

When pressed to tell me why she didn't find me attractive, she said because she mostly likes really confident/cocky/fun guys usually, and I'm not really any of those things. However, people she's seen in the past (and someone recently), haven't really fit this description at all.

I'm wondering if it's possible that with persistence etc she might change her mind, or if it's a 100% no.

However you mention that if someones kind of a ****** you don't find them attractive. I think this is possibly part of the problem with her, she finds certain things about me very annoying. Do you think if this was the case with you, you might eventually find the person attractive, if they cut out said douchey behaviour? Or would you think they were just doing it to please you, and find them less attractive?

 

[Hoffy]

I would like it that they liked me enough to stop certain things they do, but you don't want to completely change for someone. They should like you for you. I think you still have a chance, just be nice and don't constantly bring it up. If it doesn't happen it just wasn't meant to be.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It happens, but rarely. It happened for my cousin.

 

[holsten1]

It happens, but rarely. It happened for my cousin.

Could you give any more info? Preferably how long it took?

 

[passage]

Move on man, is it really that hard, there are 3 billion other women out there. I'm sure theres at least thousands other women who suit you better. And to answer your question, no she won't change her mind. Instead when she gets in a fight with the ********* she is seeing, she will come to you to talk and use you as an emotional tampon. Please come back here in a few weeks if my prediction comes true, since I know you probably won't take my advice on moving on.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Yes, Holsten, I have. Not that I found him ugly or anything, but my guy just looks incredibly evil in the picture he took of himself. And it was weird, because I didn't really talk to him, and a few of our friends had shown me. We were all wondering what he could possibly look like, and he had shown one of them. I thought he was so mean looking, I thought to myself, "I'll never get to know him... He'll just be someone I randomly game with..." Totally changed my thoughts after I did get to know him.

But I don't know if it was both of us, or just me. I guess gaming brought us together, closer than anything else. Then over time, the Skype calls would just be between the two of us. It would start out with 6, 7 people in the Skype, but it would dwindle down to just us. And I remember the first time that happened, I fully expected him to hang up the Skype call, but he didn't.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It happens, but rarely. It happened for my cousin.

Could you give any more info? Preferably how long it took?

It took 10 years.

And she had friendzoned him for all that time. He dated other girls, but never really gave up on her.

Now they're married and expecting a child.

 

[VanillaCreme]

And that's why I don't really think the "friend zone" really exists. Some people may feel that way, but it's not really there. Because you never really know.

 

[SophiaGrace]

It's sounds bad, but I've met guys I didn't really think we're all that cute, but after I got to know them, especially if they were a good person I started to find them attractive.

That doesn't sound bad at all. It sounds like you value people for who they are and not what they look like, which is a good thing.

+1