user 191131
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- Joined
- Jul 2, 2024
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"BAD THOUGHTS" ..... and maybe some good ones?
In my grief I have created a diversion similar in a very slight way to the situation in my OP. I am pretending to be OK with my marital difficulties, treading water or whatever it is I’m doing, hoping against hope that the ax won’t fall after all. Those little things I’ve been harbouring and acting out are not my druthers at all.
Well, getting on with the reason for this post is something else I have constructed and in a way pretending again. An acquaintance of mine passed away a couple of years ago. I couldn’t stand to be in the presence of his extremely neurotic wife for more than ten minutes and I avoided his funeral for that very reason. I do visit his grave about once a month to speak and “listen”. The last time I visited him (just a couple of days ago) I got an urge to contact his wife. It’s very strange because she drives me up the wall. Anyway, I did it. She’s even crazier than she was before but I put my anguish aside and let her speak. Is it just that seeing and hearing her that makes my own problems seem minuscule in comparison? Yes, I think so but I also see that her madness is human. I just telephoned her now and we’re going to meet again at 12:30. Now, it is true that I am pretending that she’s a spiritual asset (for her sake) but the stimulus she generates is good for me even though I don’t understand it. Just two loonies squawking (mostly she) and bathing in the presence of another human being? I suppose that’s all it is.
In my grief I have created a diversion similar in a very slight way to the situation in my OP. I am pretending to be OK with my marital difficulties, treading water or whatever it is I’m doing, hoping against hope that the ax won’t fall after all. Those little things I’ve been harbouring and acting out are not my druthers at all.
Well, getting on with the reason for this post is something else I have constructed and in a way pretending again. An acquaintance of mine passed away a couple of years ago. I couldn’t stand to be in the presence of his extremely neurotic wife for more than ten minutes and I avoided his funeral for that very reason. I do visit his grave about once a month to speak and “listen”. The last time I visited him (just a couple of days ago) I got an urge to contact his wife. It’s very strange because she drives me up the wall. Anyway, I did it. She’s even crazier than she was before but I put my anguish aside and let her speak. Is it just that seeing and hearing her that makes my own problems seem minuscule in comparison? Yes, I think so but I also see that her madness is human. I just telephoned her now and we’re going to meet again at 12:30. Now, it is true that I am pretending that she’s a spiritual asset (for her sake) but the stimulus she generates is good for me even though I don’t understand it. Just two loonies squawking (mostly she) and bathing in the presence of another human being? I suppose that’s all it is.