Questions :)

[wolfblood]

Hey there, wonderful people!

I'm gonna tell you something that happened to me yesterday and I'm gonna ask for your opinion

I was crossing the street the other day, and I dropped my phone, it somehow fell from my pocket. I didn't realize what happened in that exact very moment. But for some reason I checked my pockets a few seconds later, and I couldn't find my phone. So I turned back looking for it and saw there was a young man that had my phone, he said "here you go", I took my phone and I said "thanks". He walked away. And I felt like I wasn't really grateful towards him. I just said "thanks" trying to be polite but I didn't feel any gratitude.
Isn't that wrong?
It happened to me before. People helping me with something and me not feeling any sort of gratitude.
I felt as if he was forced to give me my phone back. Because he knew it was the right thing to do, not because he really wanted to help.
Is there a difference between wanting to help and helping only because it's the right thing?
For example, doctors... Do they help us because it's their job or because they really care about us?
Why do I have these feelings?
I know the outcome is the same. I lose something, someone finds it for me, I get it back. Everything is fine. Regardless of their motives of helping me.
However, it's like I wish I wouldn't receive any help at all rather than receiving it only because they felt obligated to help.
I want people to feel whatever they're doing. I want people to really want to do the things they're doing. If they don't, their actions feel empty to me.
What would you say to someone like me? Am I ungrateful? Am I crazy?

Looking forward to your opinions.

Whatever you feel, say it.


You're the best!

And I love to ask you guys these kind of questions. Your answers are always fabulous and surprising. I've spent quite some time reading threads on this forum. It's an internet goldmine.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Is there a difference between wanting to help and helping only because it's the right thing?

How was he forced though? If you dropped it, he could have just left it there. I've seen people do that several times and I'm sure it happens more often in bigger cities. If he didn't WANT to help, he wouldn't have picked it up, right? Wanting to do the right thing is still them wanting to help. I wouldn't say that's out of obligation or what have you. Maybe it just becomes second nature at some point that it turns into not a want or a right thing, but just find themselves doing it without even thinking about it.

Do they help us because it's their job or because they really care about us?

Depends on the doctor, to be completely honest. Some definitely do really care and want to help. Others are just in it to be "famous" or for the money.

Why do I have these feelings?

Because you're human and think about things? I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with having those type of feelings. You are looking for a motive in other people's actions. Maybe because you don't expect people to just be nice for the sake of it. Maybe you were hurt in the past and it's second nature for you to look for ulterior motives of someone doing things for you or to help you.

What would you say to someone like me? Am I ungrateful? Am I crazy?

You probably are crazy, but not for that. lol I pretty touched on this in the other responses above, but I don't see you as ungrateful because I'm sure you are happy to have gotten your phone back before it was damaged. I think you're thoughts of the WHY of it just outweigh the gratitude you might feel. Or maybe you feel obligated to feel grateful and that's why you are thinking you are ungrateful because you expect people to do the right thing. I don't know, I could be wrong, I don't know you that well yet.

 

[147]

I want people to feel whatever they're doing

I don't have time for a long response right now, but this sentence stands out to me the most.

Honestly, I think you're just highly idealistic. You're a good soul. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I can think of a spiritual angle to explain this, as well, but I won't get into this publicly.

So, don't stop being idealistic. Just make sure you don't allow it to hurt you too deeply when you see humans act in direct opposition to your ideal. And lead by example. Probably the only thing you can do, anyway