Ready for a weird one?

[Scholar]

OK let me start by saying that I get it and almost everything negative you can say about the situation is something I have already considered. That being said, I recently stumbled my way onto one of those webcam websites and found myself in front of a beautiful woman from Europe. She wasn't begging me for money or telling me how interested in private time she was. We got to chatting and had a great night just talking about love, life, and all the good stuff. Well eventually we get to a point where she tells me that she doesn't like working on the website and wants to leave. I asked her if she wanted to keep talking over email or messenger or something and she is thrilled. So we exchange info and keep talking. It is amazing to connect with someone like this.
A few days ago she is talking in chat to another member and tell us that she is waiting for her best friend to come on. Well turns out this "best friend" was in her chatroom her first day and never left.... He has tipped her and been around her all the time. Apparently that night we chatted was the first time in a long time he wasn't there. She is really really awesome to chat with but I get the feeling she is really engrossed with this other member. The only conclusions i can make are

1. They are now connected on a level that surpasses member/model
2. He tipped the most so he gets the most love
3. we are all in the "friendzone" together as it is her job

He polices her room and she lets him, his jokes are always funnier, and he never appears to have a life anywhere else. I really like chatting with her and yes I do throw tokens her way (it is her job that Im always chatting to her on) I know this is odd and maybe unhealthy, but I really can't enjoy the time i get with her without wondering how her and this other member connect with each other. I don't really want to walk away but I am really really getting sick of this guy. I can't ask her as I would appear really self conscious and lacking in self esteem. Sigh how do i get myself into these situations....

 

[perfanoff]

Okay you said it- he is her PIMP.

Really ,you are falling in love with a stripper? Is there a single part of you that tells you this is wise?

 

[Gutted]

Okay you said it- he is her PIMP.

Really ,you are falling in love with a stripper? Is there a single part of you that tells you this is wise?

His Penis & Heart?

 

[IgnoredOne]

I fell in love with a girl like that once. First thing I did was to gently indicate that she had to quit everything she knew, or else. If you want to know if she's genuine, you're going to have to go with the same ultimatum. Sacrifice is important.

 

[Veilside05]

Wow. If it is her job to chat with people online, what makes you so sure that she has a special thing for you as she could be chatting in the exact same manner with many others. You get what I mean right?

 

[theraab]

I'm assuming that when you say a webcam website you mean a site where the girl strips (or something like that)?
If it helps, when I was in college I dated a stripper and she told me that when she was at work they wanted the girls to completely create the fantasy world for the patrons - i.e. she had to make the guys think she was interested in them by whatever means she needed to use - I hate to say this, but being an interesting chat partner may be the online equivalent of making you think she's interested...Consider if you were on the other end, would you constantly hound your viewers to give more money, or would you take the slow approach and get them to spend money over time?

Easy way to test this - find another girl on another site (or the same site), and see if she is as good of a chat partner as this one - if not, I'm way off base, and I apologize...otherwise, sorry.

 

[perfanoff]

Agreed, it's a scam. Do you want to be scammed?

 

[tom_lonely]

OK let me start by saying that I get it and almost everything negative you can say about the situation is something I have already considered. That being said, I recently stumbled my way onto one of those webcam websites and found myself in front of a beautiful woman from Europe. She wasn't begging me for money or telling me how interested in private time she was. We got to chatting and had a great night just talking about love, life, and all the good stuff. Well eventually we get to a point where she tells me that she doesn't like working on the website and wants to leave. I asked her if she wanted to keep talking over email or messenger or something and she is thrilled. So we exchange info and keep talking. It is amazing to connect with someone like this.
A few days ago she is talking in chat to another member and tell us that she is waiting for her best friend to come on. Well turns out this "best friend" was in her chatroom her first day and never left.... He has tipped her and been around her all the time. Apparently that night we chatted was the first time in a long time he wasn't there. She is really really awesome to chat with but I get the feeling she is really engrossed with this other member. The only conclusions i can make are

1. They are now connected on a level that surpasses member/model
2. He tipped the most so he gets the most love
3. we are all in the "friendzone" together as it is her job

He polices her room and she lets him, his jokes are always funnier, and he never appears to have a life anywhere else. I really like chatting with her and yes I do throw tokens her way (it is her job that Im always chatting to her on) I know this is odd and maybe unhealthy, but I really can't enjoy the time i get with her without wondering how her and this other member connect with each other. I don't really want to walk away but I am really really getting sick of this guy. I can't ask her as I would appear really self conscious and lacking in self esteem. Sigh how do i get myself into these situations....

It sounds like you want your relationship with her to be more exclusive.

I would just tell her how you feel and see what she says to that.

Then make a decision. You could still be friends, but move on to someone who will be more exclusive.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I'm sorry your struggling. Even though I'm indifferent about it but I'm not here to judge you. It sounds like you really care for her. I agree simply tell her how you feel. Atleast you know upfront rather than wonder about it.

 

[9006]

I agree that it maybe a scam and she could be just good at doing her job, I'm not sure if I've got this straight but the way I read it was that you and her were chatting out of the website, email? That kinda tells me that she may have been interested, but having said that, I suppose she's so easy to get on with because it's one of her job requirements and she could be just after tips? Like from that other guy she chats to?

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

Sigh. It sucks being lonely, because we can be so desperate.
This isn't weird. Happens all the time, I saw it everyday.
Having been a stripper IRL, don't waste your energy thinking about this. To me, pretty much all of you (clients) were one and the same, and all I did was appeal to your fragile egos. That was part of our job. You paid us to do that.
Find someone else who doesn't make it so obvious she's playing you if it causes you pain. But of course, the fact that she is unavailable makes her more appealing, right?

 

[Scholar]

I know that she is paid to seduce
I know that many women are great at it (no offence meant it is her job)
I know that I am traveling down a road without likelihood for a happy ending
I know that the feelings that I have are real, and I am not thinking with my little head

I think the thing that is bugging me the most is the other member whom she really appears to have a fondness for. I know jealousy is not a healthy feeling but it's been around for quite a long time and is not easy to avoid when depressed and lonely. I think the real answer I want (cynically thinkin) is whether this other guy is in the same boat as me. I am happy to chat with her and pay a few credits here and there if she is happy to chat back. We have shared personal information which is mostly given on her part, saying that she trusts me. I know that its a ruse as Sarah has stated and that many women work well by working others. I don't want to give in to my insecurities but I see that she is online (the messenger that we use outside the site) and yet I hear nothing from her. I know that she is talking to the other guy, I truly don't want to abandon the friendship/client/member/model whatever you want to call it, but its really hard going on knowing that the other guy is getting something more. I dunno at this point I just feel like a real idiot not for paying but for caring

 

[theraab]

Of course the other guy is in the same boat - she wouldn't be chatting with him on the clock if she weren't getting paid. Maybe he does throw more money her way.

 

[IgnoredOne]

You need to disengage. Its an addiction at the moment; try to refocus after the withdrawal symptoms fade.

 

[perfanoff]

I know that she is paid to seduce
I know that many women are great at it (no offence meant it is her job)
I know that I am traveling down a road without likelihood for a happy ending
I know that the feelings that I have are real, and I am not thinking with my little head

I think the thing that is bugging me the most is the other member whom she really appears to have a fondness for. I know jealousy is not a healthy feeling but it's been around for quite a long time and is not easy to avoid when depressed and lonely. I think the real answer I want (cynically thinkin) is whether this other guy is in the same boat as me. I am happy to chat with her and pay a few credits here and there if she is happy to chat back. We have shared personal information which is mostly given on her part, saying that she trusts me. I know that its a ruse as Sarah has stated and that many women work well by working others. I don't want to give in to my insecurities but I see that she is online (the messenger that we use outside the site) and yet I hear nothing from her. I know that she is talking to the other guy, I truly don't want to abandon the friendship/client/member/model whatever you want to call it, but its really hard going on knowing that the other guy is getting something more. I dunno at this point I just feel like a real idiot not for paying but for caring

It's pretty hard to not say anything very negative so I'll keep it brief.

What you're doing is wrong, what she's doing is wrong. For you, for her, for everyone.