Resentment towards females

[Mystery_Man]

Let me start by saying that ever since I was 12 or so I have always craved a "connection" with a girl, not even a sexual/relationship/dating thing, but a deep emotion connection. Being homeschooled, fat, ugly and a mama's boy kept that from happening. Any little interaction I had with girls growing up was while they belittled me because I was different. As an adult in an attempt to satisfy that craving, I got involved in two long term relationships, one of which I'm still sort of involved in. Neither one should have ever happened.

Th first one was with someone who had deep emotional issues due to abuse while she was young. Being a male and around her much of the time I became the target that she released years of pent up male hatred upon. Verbal degradation, physical abuse, beatings until I had blood running of of my ears, and at its worst was chased with a butcher knife and nearly stabbed. The second relationship was pretty much the same as the first, add to that this was a complete opposite who was into partying, drinking and sex, so along with the male hatred she already had, she also hated me because I ruined all of that for her...."I took her 20's away and made her an old lady".

Out of desperation I've tried reaching out online and that has only resulted in the same rejection I face offline. I always felt like I had better luck online since no one had to see my ugly face, but I still get rejected even though I would do anything for anyone. Ive even dealt with it on this site which is why I deleted my account and made this one. I thought i found someone very different here, but she was just like the rest of them. What's on the inside really doesn't matter...it's all about the superficial. I'm honestly wondering if I'm starting to resent females from years of rejection that I have gone through. From reading many posts on this site, it appears I'm not the only male to have his self esteem ruined by selfish, shallow women.

That loving, kind, non drinking, non smoking, non superficial girl really doesn't exists, so I might as well stop trying to find her and face up to the reality...they are all the same.

 

[Vermillion Sky]

Not they are not all the same.

First the man hating woman, you have nothing to do with that. You don't even have to sweat those insults.

That loving, kind, non drinking, non smoking, non superficial girl really doesn't exists

Yeah she does. I met a few in my life. The problem is they are rare.

Don't give up on the female species dude. It's not fair to them to bunch them all in a basket just because a few girls burned you.

Don't allow desperation to control you. All its gonna do is turn you into a life-sized repellent. I haven't been with a woman in 3yrs because I was trying too hard. You can't expect to be a good lover if your mind is consumed with resentment for women.

 

[Limlim]

Just as the girl with the butcher knife was irrational for hating men, thus it would be the other way around yes? I doubt you want to become her.

 

[Felix]

You should learn to make peopole respect you before you get into a relationship again, otherwise you're gonna get abused. It's for sure a self steem problem also, you don't think you are worth anything so you let yourself get treated like ****. But I tell you buddy, NO ONE deserves to be treated badly, much less get beaten!

You musn't tolerate it man, don't tolerate it one bit. Not for a second. People will test your boundaries and many will end up walking all over you if you're a push over. You have to get tough sometimes in this life otherwise you're in for a world of pain and humilliation.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I agree with Vermillion Sky.

Not ALL women are like that. Just not easy to find that type you're looking for because of the times now. Sometimes you can't expect too much either. So if she does drink a little occasionally, and is a good kind-hearted person, you'd totally cut her out? I would hope not.

I know it's not been easy on you - but it's not fair to say all women are the same. Like how it's not fair to say all men are the same. Come on, seriously.

What's up with today? I'm running into these sort of posts all around the forum.

 

[Mystery_Man]

I wouldn't rule out someone if they drank on a reasonable level. Drugs or alcohol are an absolute no-no though. The example I gave is a rough generalization of my perfec match.

I'm sure they aren't all the same, but 100% of my experiences have been negative, both in my relationships and more brief interactions. Maybe geography is working against me too. Everyone around here is well educated and highly paid, someone like myself is probably nothing more than a burger flipper, bagger, blue color slave in their eyes.

You are probably seeing a lot of posts like this because this is a pretty common occurance. I've come across many other males here and on other forums who have had the same experiences with females. Unless you are and alpha male they only seem interested in rejecting you and making you feel like a POS in the process.

I'm sure there is someone out there perfect for me, me perfect for her...chances are she proabably feels the same way about men that I do women. Will we ever cross paths? I'd say I have better odds playing Powerball, haha.

I agree with Vermillion Sky.

Not ALL women are like that. Just not easy to find that type you're looking for because of the times now. Sometimes you can't expect too much either. So if she does drink a little occasionally, and is a good kind-hearted person, you'd totally cut her out? I would hope not.

I know it's not been easy on you - but it's not fair to say all women are the same. Like how it's not fair to say all men are the same. Come on, seriously.

What's up with today? I'm running into these sort of posts all around the forum.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'm sure there is someone out there perfect for me, me perfect for her...chances are she proabably feels the same way about men that I do women. Will we ever cross paths? I'd say I have better odds playing Powerball, haha.

Lol Powerball. Don't know that game but I get what you're saying there.

Yeah well, it wouldn't hurt to keep on trying. Come on, don't give up. Poor those good women out there looking for men like you. Give them a chance by continuing the journey in meeting women. No harm trying. You know better now, you know what to watch out for, so if you see or meet a woman who doesn't appeal to you, move on and make new female friends.

All I'm saying is, don't give up. She's out there. Just keep going.

 

[painter's radio]

Men are equally ******. It's people, not women. Never heard a woman complain about men then laugh at them because they always choose to date ********? Could be what you're doing, or you could just have something about you that attracts the sweet-at-first-then-turns-into-a-complete-psycho-2-months-down-the-line type. I do agree your self-esteem could play a huge part in this - many people will sense you're weak and will feel a mixture of 1) wanting to take care of you (a more positive thing but still a bit unhealthy sometimes) and 2) seeing that you're someone who will put up with their baggage. Number 2 is probably more of a subconscious thing rather than a premeditated soul-crush, though perhaps both.

You know, you don't even need to respect yourself to find a nice woman. You can hate yourself forever and still have a good relationship, it'll just make it more difficult to not only find it but to keep it going too. I think it's more about how you deal with your issues that matter. Don't blame others, don't hide your feelings all the time or misrepresent yourself, but do at least try to be happy sometimes. Self-deprecating humour can be a good counter to self-deprecation.

 

[isthatso]

You should learn to make peopole respect you before you get into a relationship again, otherwise you're gonna get abused. It's for sure a self steem problem also, you don't think you are worth anything so you let yourself get treated like ****. But I tell you buddy, NO ONE deserves to be treated badly, much less get beaten!

You musn't tolerate it man, don't tolerate it one bit. Not for a second. People will test your boundaries and many will end up walking all over you if you're a push over. You have to get tough sometimes in this life otherwise you're in for a world of pain and humilliation.

It has taken me a long time for me to actually put this into practice and even now I struggle. because if someone is agressive towards me, my knee jerk reaction is to give into their demands. But ever so gradually I am starting to assert and not take any more BS.
OP do the same.
"No more BS."

Say it to yourself everyday.

Men are equally ******. It's people, not women. Never heard a woman complain about men then laugh at them because they always choose to date ********? Could be what you're doing, or you could just have something about you that attracts the sweet-at-first-then-turns-into-a-complete-psycho-2-months-down-the-line type. I do agree your self-esteem could play a huge part in this - many people will sense you're weak and will feel a mixture of 1) wanting to take care of you (a more positive thing but still a bit unhealthy sometimes) and 2) seeing that you're someone who will put up with their baggage. Number 2 is probably more of a subconscious thing rather than a premeditated soul-crush, though perhaps both.

You know, you don't even need to respect yourself to find a nice woman. You can hate yourself forever and still have a good relationship, it'll just make it more difficult to not only find it but to keep it going too. I think it's more about how you deal with your issues that matter. Don't blame others, don't hide your feelings all the time or misrepresent yourself, but do at least try to be happy sometimes. Self-deprecating humour can be a good counter to self-deprecation.

Well said painters.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Stop doing anything for them. You are not a doormat and you have needs and feelings too. So do they, but you need equality.

 

[ardour]

You (deliberately?) chose women who were 'broken' and/or had issues. There were probably enough warning signs before you got involved. It wasn't going to end well.

 

[ladyforsaken]

^ Yeah rdor. That's it. OP, you gotta watch out for the red flags now that you know better the type of women you wanna be involved with. Use your experiences to choose who to hang out with and who to just pass by.

 

[perfanoff]

I resent females. Why are you ladies so lovely?

 

[EveWasFramed]

I resent females. Why are you ladies so lovely?

We were made that way so guys could look over our quirks?

 

[perfanoff]

hehe
yeah, to the point we love you for your quirks

 

[Minus]

We were made that way so guys could look over our quirks?

 

[EveWasFramed]

We were made that way so guys could look over our quirks?

lol...kind of a joke, but not.
Ever heard the saying that God makes babies so damn cute so when they become teenagers, we don't kill them because we remember how cute they were as babies?

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

We were made that way so guys could look over our quirks?

lol...kind of a joke, but not.
Ever heard the saying that God makes babies so damn cute so when they become teenagers, we don't kill them because we remember how cute they were as babies?

Psh, babies are cute so we don't kill 'em while they're babies with all that screaming and vomiting and pooping and constant hunger latching onto our ****! D:

But yeah I've heard that joke

 

[Limlim]

I always thought babies looked like wrinkled little blobs of flesh. Kind of like... large scrotum's.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I always thought babies looked like wrinkled little blobs of flesh. Kind of like... large scrotum's.

:club: :club: :club: