Respect, appreciation, a simple thank you

[JJW]

So I finished remodeling the kitchen yesterday... officially. My last chore was to build a spice rack for inside a cabinet door.

I'm sad. There were no harps playing. No grand finale music. Just the last wine of the screw motor.

I feel accomplished. I guess that's all I get for my ten months of labor. Not that it was constant. But start to finish, that's the duration.

My wife told me what she wanted (while changing her mind regularly) and tasked me to engineer and construct it. It wasn't just throwing up cabinets. I had to tear out sheetrock, relocate electric boxes, rip up floor underlay, alter the plumbing... pretty much a complete tear down and rebuild. You know... work.

Today, over coffee, we were looking at the pictures of the old kitchen. She commented "I did good," meaning she did good, her design and how it works for her.

Never a thank you to me.

I don't mean anything to her... labor. She used to respect me, and even marvel at my accomplishments. I guess when you get used to things they aren't special anymore.

 

[Efbee]

Don't put your happiness in the hands of another. You did good, tap yourself on the back, buy something nice for yourself and be happy you exist, Life is a gift.
Happened to me too. I remodeled the entire kitchen, painted the entire house, outside and inside, fixed the roof, changed some doors and redid the bathroom. What did I get for my trouble, for trying to please her? She took my kids and kicked me out the house. That was 2002. She did let me see the kids anytime I wanted and I ended up thanking her, for something that's supposed to happen between normal human beings.
Ever since then I've decided to remain single and do only for my kids and I.
Women only see us as walking wallets and free labor. It's the way of this new world, get used to it and act accordingly.

 

[user 135671]

Never a thank you to me.

I don't mean anything to her... labor. She used to respect me, and even marvel at my accomplishments. I guess when you get used to things they aren't special anymore.

I know how this feels only too well.

Well done man good job on the kitchen.

 

[Expelliarmus]

The darker the night, the brighter the stars
❤

 

[JJW]

The darker the night, the brighter the stars
❤

I'm a star? Awesome!!

 

[4No1]

I'm a star?

You made a kitchen! It's amazing, sure you are a star! You did great!

PS it happens to me at work sometimes, some people take everything you do for them without simple "thanks", probably they just used to it and take it as smth that exists on it's own. Guess, when it's your own wife it's worse.

 

[Adamridge79]

From what you once posted, I can see why a thank you would mean so much. But look at it this way...you did something I doubt I could do without a bunch of help. Be proud that you can superstar that

 

[Memyself]

Truly sorry your wife takes you for granted. Kudos to you!

 

[Just Games]

I do stuff around the house quite alot too.I fix toilets that are blocked or leaking.I maintain the garden .I paint the exterior of the house white,two coats about every four years.I put shelves up lol ,I've built sheds and concrete bases i do alot of stuff because I know it needs doing or because she asks me to do it.

She never sais thankyou or what a good job you've done there,but I don't want her to I just feel its my job to do it because she works so hard and I..well not so hard.I don't want a medal I just like the fact she asks me because she knows I can do it.

Do you think she just knows you can do it because you've been so capable in the past and got so used to you being Mr Do it all.Top kitchen by the way

 

[TheRealCallie]

You should come to my house. I'll say thank you AND feed you whatever you want

 

[Just Games]

Just keep the tea and cake coming and a chat occasionally would be nice..no need for thankyou..s

 

[JJW]

You should come to my house. I'll say thank you AND feed you whatever you want

That would be great! She asked me what I wanted for my birthday dinner, and then sat down on the sofa to Facebook. I had to cook it myself. I kind of thought I could have one night of the year that I didn't do the cooking.

I complain, but at least she does the dishes.

 

[JJW]

Just keep the tea and cake coming and a chat occasionally would be nice..no need for thankyou..s

I guess that's the way I should be. But I don't get tea and cake unless I make it. Not that it matters. I've told her I have my stuff to do.

Do you think she just knows you can do it because you've been so capable in the past and got so used to you being Mr Do it all. Top kitchen by the way

I really do. I always managed. I guess it's expected. I think a failure would be a surprise to her.

It's nice to be mechanically inclined while simultaneously enjoying building and fixing stuff. I'm no Fonzerelli, but I get by. The thing is, being naturally good at something usually means being naturally bad at something else. I suck at the abstract...and that's a quality essential for good relationships.

Thanks to all for appreciating my work.

 

[Just Games]

I guess that's the way I should be. But I don't get tea and cake unless I make it. Not that it matters. I've told her I have my stuff to do.



I really do. I always managed. I guess it's expected. I think a failure would be a surprise to her.

It's nice to be mechanically inclined while simultaneously enjoying building and fixing stuff. I'm no Fonzerelli, but I get by. The thing is, being naturally good at something usually means being naturally bad at something else. I suck at the abstract...and that's a quality essential for good relationships.

Thanks to all for appreciating my work.

No tea and cake all that time you built that stunning kitchen and you make all the dinners that's a game changer. May be time to down tools take up art or something that benefits you exclusively not her if she's fcuking about on Facebook all the time especially on your Birthday.