Retired Alone

[Bev Thornton]

I am a 65-year-old male living alone. I have limited social skills and don't know how to meet people. I don't drink, so bars are not a possibility. I joined this forum to try to find suggestions on how to meet people and make friends with them.

 

[okidoke]

Hi Bev. Welcome to the forum. You can join local clubs or volunteer organisations to meet people with the same interests. When you have similar things in common, conversations build from there. Why do you have limited social skills? You can learn skills; courses, online tutorials and lectures. I’m not saying it’s easy. I don’t have more than one friend myself, but I’m always looking into what’s around that could interest me. Sadly there’s not a lot. I’m going to take a look at a photography club in a couple weeks since that’s a hobby. I’ve never known a male called Bev before.

 

[Sometimes]

Hello and welcome to the forum. You can practice talking, listening and understanding here.

 

[Homebound]

Hello and welcome.

 

[Minus]

Welcome. Look around and make yourself at home.

 

[Bev Thornton]

Hi Bev. Welcome to the forum. You can join local clubs or volunteer organisations to meet people with the same interests. When you have similar things in common, conversations build from there. Why do you have limited social skills? You can learn skills; courses, online tutorials and lectures. I’m not saying it’s easy. I don’t have more than one friend myself, but I’m always looking into what’s around that could interest me. Sadly there’s not a lot. I’m going to take a look at a photography club in a couple weeks since that’s a hobby. I’ve never known a male called Bev before.

I have limited social skills because I never did the whole social scene when young and for the past 13 years I've been doing in-home care which is quite isolating. Before that I did commercial and industrial photography and before that I was a soldier.

Volunteering is a good idea. I will look around for that.

The name Beverly is from Old English and refers to the forest cleared by a beaver. It wasn't gender-specific. In the 19th century a publisher of a book of baby names included it and claimed it was feminine, from Danish, and meant "she comes in the dawn" - total fabrication.

 

[constant stranger]

I'm 5 years older than you, Bev, and volunteering at the local hospital is a social contact zone that works for me. It's also a purposeful function that most of the patients I visit with are glad for. Most of them........there are a few who refuse any dialog with me.

 

[isthatso]

have limited social skills because I never did the whole social scene when young and for the past 13 years I've been doing in-home care which is quite isolating. Before that I did commercial and industrial photography and before that I was a soldier.

Do you mean caring? Showering, personal care, and so on? For people in their home?
That's a huge credit to you and a real bonus to your community.

 

[Bev Thornton]

Do you mean caring?

Yeah, live-in in-home care. I did it from 2010 to 2023 in three provinces. Spinal injury, dementia, and end-of-life. It's like a 24/7/365 thing, people doing it have pretty much no personal life. Now, I'm retired and find myself without a circle of friends. There are a few people I can visit occasionally, but that's about it. I seem to have lost the ability to socialize.

 

[isthatso]

Yeah, live-in in-home care. I did it from 2010 to 2023 in three provinces. Spinal injury, dementia, and end-of-life. It's like a 24/7/365 thing, people doing it have pretty much no personal life. Now, I'm retired and find myself without a circle of friends. There are a few people I can visit occasionally, but that's about it. I seem to have lost the ability to socialize.

Hey I might send you a private message. I'm retired too. Semi retired anyway. Aged 65. Some jobs I did over the last decade were
carr type jobs. I did personal care once. I didn't like it much. Last year I cared for my wife in the last 3 months of her cancer.

 

[Bev Thornton]

Hey I might send you a private message. I'm retired too. Semi retired anyway. Aged 65. Some jobs I did over the last decade were
carr type jobs. I did personal care once. I didn't like it much. Last year I cared for my wife in the last 3 months of her cancer.

I loved it, missed my calling for sure, should have been a nurse all along. Kind of weird that my first career was infantry, almost the opposite.

End-of-life is the hardest of all, hardest on the heart and mind. Doing it for your significant other would make it harder, way heavy. Be proud of that, most can't or won't do it.

 

[isthatso]

loved it, missed my calling for sure, should have been a nurse all along. Kind of weird that my first career was infantry, almost the opposite.

I tried disability and man it was hard. Using hoists especially.
I worked with some incredibly skilful people. I was out of my depth.

 

[Bev Thornton]

I tried disability and man it was hard. Using hoists especially.
I worked with some incredibly skilful people. I was out of my depth.

I was lucky on the things like hoists and slings because I'd done commercial and industrial photography and specialized in location work so I was used to moving things like booms with delicate parts on the end in environments where they didn''t really fit. One place, though, the bathrooms were all too small and I had to use my arms and was lucky on that, too, because I was born with a good back.
I didn't like giving injections. I'm thankful I never had to do any intravenous ones of those. I would have if I had to. There's just something about piercing the skin that makes me nauseated if it isn't in the midst of emergency. Vomit, feces, pus, blood, no problem, but needle piercing skin and my stomach flips.