Romance scammers

[FFurry]

I've always wondered how romance scammers can be so successful in wooing women (or men) while the rest of us struggle without a single hit in real life or on dating sites. Does this "talent" come naturally or can it be learned? Not that I want to be a con artist, but romance scammers certainly seem like they have knowledge to teach.

This article brought this up in my mind once again: https://torontolife.com/city/crime/shaun-rootenberg-profile-of-a-romance-scammer/

 

[Myra]

Scammers aren't looking for being loved or liked for who they are. So to be more like them you need to get over yourself. Stop looking for love. Also, I'm sure scammers get plenty of rejections too before they get lucky and someone bites the hook. You would probably be put off after many rejections and unlike them you expect your emotional needs to be considered in the dating game. You will take it personally. And you also have preferences. Scammers don't expect to find a victim they're attracted to or who they have something in common with or who understands them. The scammers don't care about their own emotional needs, they have zero expectations, it is not about them so they can go about it being less picky, less inhibited than you and can fully concentrate on playing a fantasy character that is a needy person's fairy tale come true. They will admit to themselves without feeling angry that they aren't a dream partner and that they need to invent an entirely different persona to end up not being liked for who they are. 

I once watched a crime investigation where a woman's ex-partner who she was still living with created an online dating profile where he pretended to be someone else in order to have an online relationship with her, while he was still living in the same house as her. This went on for a year and she didn't want to notice who her online boyfriend really was. Sad.

 

[Finished]

I've always been curious about that too. Talk about having social skills. IMO, predators of any kind are made to fit the animals that they are hunting. The crap that different types of predators do wouldn't even cross my mind. I've watched several shows too. I think, Wow! How did they every figure out to do that. The person has to consider it like a job. It's all about perspective. You need to get outside of yourself and complete the needed tasks without emotions like Myra talked about.

We all kind of do this when we go to work. We have to pretend to be team players, be happy, and enjoy what we are doing. Hopefully that's just not me. ha! ha! Just apply that work mentality to whatever you want to accomplish. As soon as you turn things into personal tasks your emotional needs come into play. For instance, if you want to meet people then make it a job with certain tasks needed to be accomplished. You have eight hours today to talk to X number of people and get their phone numbers. It doesn't matter who they are or what they look like. Then you'll start getting better at it and your skills and confidence will improve. Then you can start being more selective. You'll be able to better spot targets. It doesn't matter if people reject you because it's just a job. They aren't rejecting you they are rejecting the crap your trying to sell. In personal life rejection is well personal. It hurts. What's wrong with me? Why don't you like me? But, work rejection is expected, no big deal, and just part of the job. It's all about the numbers. Next!

Plus, there are some real easy targets out there. Lonely people for one. Everybody likes to be told they are wonderful, smart, attractive, funny, etc, etc, etc. I know you are all thinking I have those qualities. But, I don't need to hear them. Ha! Ha! But, some people do even if they aren't true. Normally people won't tell them that. So, when someone does they are emotionally connected with them.

I've exchanged emails for several years with several people for various lengths of time. I have yet to find one person that can discus things without letting their emotions get involved. Yet they have all previously said they can discus anything without getting upset. Politics seems to be a hot topic for most of them. If you don't agree with them then they get angry and the communications stop.

Predators don't care. They'll say they believe and agree with 100% of whatever the target is saying. That's an easy way to spot fakes. No two people agree about many things. If someone is agreeing with everything you say then they are lying to you even if you are 100% correct all the time like in my case. Ha! ha!

 

[Serenia]

There is a thread on here from a previous member who was scammed out of money from a Russian woman.

 

[Sameer]

There is a thread on here from a previous member who was scammed out of money from a Russian woman.

Holy crap.. Poor dude, you can't just trust people that easily. I have seen scam emails, they are just plain ridiculous. Unfortunately some people get easily tricked.

 

[FFurry]

Good points about relationships without emotional considerations, but with the cold, hard purpose of control over the other party. Without emotions, it seems lots of possibilities open up, as the mind is not clouded and there's less stress. Ironically, I've often succeeded when I didn't care, perhaps because a lot of baggage is avoided and doesn't interfere.

Maybe that's the way to go -- i.e., just do it without caring. I suppose this is why alcohol leads to many hookups. On the other hand, this doesn't seem like a recipe for fundamental success.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Good points about relationships without emotional considerations, but with the cold, hard purpose of control over the other party. Without emotions, it seems lots of possibilities open up, as the mind is not clouded and there's less stress. Ironically, I've often succeeded when I didn't care, perhaps because a lot of baggage is avoided and doesn't interfere.

Maybe that's the way to go -- i.e., just do it without caring. I suppose this is why alcohol leads to many hookups. On the other hand, this doesn't seem like a recipe for fundamental success.

They have stress.  The stress of being found out.  The stress of finding someone who they can leech off of.  The threat of prosecution depending on how far they take it. 

But yeah, if you don't care whether or now you are a soulless leech who hurts others for his own benefit, have at it.

 

[FFurry]

Good points about relationships without emotional considerations, but with the cold, hard purpose of control over the other party. Without emotions, it seems lots of possibilities open up, as the mind is not clouded and there's less stress. Ironically, I've often succeeded when I didn't care, perhaps because a lot of baggage is avoided and doesn't interfere.

Maybe that's the way to go -- i.e., just do it without caring. I suppose this is why alcohol leads to many hookups. On the other hand, this doesn't seem like a recipe for fundamental success.

They have stress.  The stress of being found out.  The stress of finding someone who they can leech off of.  The threat of prosecution depending on how far they take it. 

But yeah, if you don't care whether or now you are a soulless leech who hurts others for his own benefit, have at it.

Well, this would be only to increase your chances, not to hurt or leech off of anyone. If something happens to work out, you can let emotions back in. I think they used to call this "batmobiling" a while back... maybe they still do.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

I've always wondered how romance scammers can be so successful in wooing women (or men) while the rest of us struggle without a single hit in real life or on dating sites. Does this "talent" come naturally or can it be learned? Not that I want to be a con artist, but romance scammers certainly seem like they have knowledge to teach.

This article brought this up in my mind once again: https://torontolife.com/city/crime/shaun-rootenberg-profile-of-a-romance-scammer/

Learned behaviors. Dark psychology at its finest and yes, anyone can learn, but some just don't have the heart to do such things.