Seeking for (don't have a clue)

[Mastosch]

Everything started with curiosity. When I was very young - child. I always wonder - how things works and why. As I came from poor family, in the beginning I only had a few wires and an electricity to play with. So there wasn't a huge area to discover, so I still spent time with my friends. Years past and I reached computer - all that information just blew my mind. For next 6 years I was studying everything what goes around computer. I almost didn't sleep - just a work out for my brain. I didn't have the time for socializing with other people, because I thought it's such waste of time. After 6 years I got quite advanced, and I lost my interest - there was nothing new.

As curiosity motivated me, I moved on with philosophy, psychology, quantum mechanics and so on. Because i had all those big questions in my mind. So again, next couple years I almost didn't sleep, just all the time discovering something new.

Three years ago got tired from old environment, therefore I emigrated to different country. So I lost my only friend.
Now I'm 22 and last three years i'm in self discovery - Heading for mindfulness.
And this is the time when i met loneliness.
Year after year, it's getting worse and worse.
I lost my interest in completely everything.
Still i push my self to learn something new, other wise i would be dead by now. For now i'm learning to play few music instruments,
still I'm on journey in science,
and getting degree in college.

I think my problem is very obvious - i can't make new friends. I don't understand jokes. If i will hear a joke i will analyze it and then with result - rubbish, i will just trow out of my head. I even can't have a simple conversation. "How are you?" - and ideation will start.
I'm confident and i'm not shy, but i just don't talk much, because most of the things what people discuss is equal to topics about weather. And looks like people likes to talk about simple things, because they are avoiding my conversation.

I keep very active life style. I don't sit much at home.
For example attending classical concerts, art, museums, exhibitions, traveling....
I'm in few tribal groups, like spiritual, dancing and singing....

But still i'm alone. There is nobody with who i can talk or chat.
I have only one contact on my mobile phone - barber. And that's it. Phone for me is a fancy alarm.

There isn't any questions,
but i will be grateful for any response.

 

[Lilianna]

Welcome! I think you will find a lot of us in similar situations and feeling the same way. So many good people here to give you good advice and/or a listening ear.

 

[dreamsurfer]

It sounds like you spent all of your time gaining knowlege but ignored the other things in life.

The only way I know of to fix that is to just jump in. Maybe you can try mingling with the people you meet at exhibitions. Then you'll at least have in common the fact that you're both there. Also small talk is more important than other types of talk because it helps you get to know the other person. Sure we could talk about the theory of relativity but I doubt you could tell me anything I couldn't read in a book. On the other hand knowing that you like to sit out on your porch when it rains would be something that is specific to you as a person. That's not to say that there's no time to talk about deep subjects. But people rarely bother to go into these things with people they don't know unless they're looking for an argument. That's just my experience anyway...

But hey your're 22 so you got time. I'd say that you just need to go out and do more small talk and mingling. Asking innocent questions tends to be the easiest way to get things going imo.

Good luck!