Self-harm

[Joturbo]

Your post really made me think about when I was in my teens and early twenties and how I would react when I was upset about leaving jobs ,being dumped , frustrated at myself because I was so reserved and finding it hard to be like all the confident people.So I looked it up for the first time and found that hitting walls until my fists sometimes bled is how I released all the pent up anger and frustration .I had several holes in my bedroom wall by the time I reached my 21st birthday and now having read your post it makes things clearer as to how I reacted if I wasn't sedated with alcohol and that this was my way of self harming.I would see red and even hit brick walls such was the pain I felt inside.My father bought me a punch bag which I hung from the ceiling and I remember just before I met my wife hitting it so much that I collapsed on the floor sometimes .

Sorry if not any help to you or relevant but understand how your feeling at this time........

 

[Seosa]

You know, this actually really touched me. While I've never performed self-harm as you describe, I've skirted close. Especially these days when I myself feel so unstable, a failiure in many ways. I agree with your assessement. When you hurt inside, you kind of try and exteriorize it, or punish yourself for being unable to do what you perceive to be something you should be able to do easily, in our own perceptions. It's not a good behavior, but at the same time, it's not coming from an illogical place, which makes it something hard to live with and fight when something big happens.

In the end, you're entirely right, you should not hate yourself and when you feel that kind of pain clawing at you, there are other ways you can manage it or exteriorize it than harming yourself for it. Because as a human being, all of us should be treated with compassion, especially by ourselves.

Very touching post, my friend.

I kind of responded to this via the rating system, but I just thought I'd thank you again. The cruel irony is in contrast to my own words I've felt like dirt on various occasions since I made the post, but I still maintain the values and the sentiment within it. You can't hate yourself, no matter how hard it is not to do so.

 

[user 139760]

I kind of responded to this via the rating system, but I just thought I'd thank you again. The cruel irony is in contrast to my own words I've felt like dirt on various occasions since I made the post, but I still maintain the values and the sentiment within it. You can't hate yourself, no matter how hard it is not to do so.

Aw chucks, thanks lol.
You're entirely right. I think self-criticism is a dying thing in today's world, but there is a major difference between being able to be self-critical or self-reproachful, and self-harm. But, sometimes, depending on the situation, the boundary and distinction between the two becomes so blurry, you can slip into it and not even realize it until a long time, sometimes years even, before you realize how destructive it is.
I don't know, it might be just me, I'm no sociologist or anything, but I associate this with caring. Someone willing to punish himself because he thought he could do better, while it should be helped because you need to love yourself, also shows however about how much that person CARES about something. I don't know why, but caring comes to mind when I think about this. Just not caring at one's self, you know?
But that's why you got others lol. I don't know you that much, but the posts I've seen around of you...you're a good dude. Take care of yourself ;-)

 

[Seosa]

I kind of responded to this via the rating system, but I just thought I'd thank you again. The cruel irony is in contrast to my own words I've felt like dirt on various occasions since I made the post, but I still maintain the values and the sentiment within it. You can't hate yourself, no matter how hard it is not to do so.

Aw chucks, thanks lol.
You're entirely right. I think self-criticism is a dying thing in today's world, but there is a major difference between being able to be self-critical or self-reproachful, and self-harm. But, sometimes, depending on the situation, the boundary and distinction between the two becomes so blurry, you can slip into it and not even realize it until a long time, sometimes years even, before you realize how destructive it is.
I don't know, it might be just me, I'm no sociologist or anything, but I associate this with caring. Someone willing to punish himself because he thought he could do better, while it should be helped because you need to love yourself, also shows however about how much that person CARES about something. I don't know why, but caring comes to mind when I think about this. Just not caring at one's self, you know?
But that's why you got others lol. I don't know you that much, but the posts I've seen around of you...you're a good dude. Take care of yourself ;-)

Good post.

Top man, I appreciate all of that.