Share the laughs

[A new life]

Hi everybody,
Please add your jokes to the list and we can all have a laugh.
I'll go first:

This couple was about to have sex for the first time.
When the man took off his shoes the woman looked at his feet and
said "What's wrong with your feet?" He answers "Tolio"
She says "Don't you mean Polio?" He says "No, I just got it in my toes"
Then he takes off his pants and she says "What's wrong with your knees?"
He answers "Kneesles"
She says "Don't you mean measles?"
He says "No I just got it in my knees"
When he takes off his shorts she says
"Wait ! Wait! let me guess. Smallcox, right?"

 

[carizza]

Here's what I found. Hope you'll like it guys

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."