Should I talk to my therapist?

[Leapfrog00]

I've been having a lot of trouble making decisions. My judgment is so clouded. I live in an apartment building full of drug dealers and addicts, and they keep me up all night, and they're always waking me up. I think the lack of sleep is messing with my anxiety. I keep getting suicidal thoughts that come and go. Should I tell my therapist about this? I don't really want to be put in a psychiatric ward. From my previous experience, the people that work in those places are ********. Even the doctors, they don't seem to listen to their patient's concerns.

I don't have any friends I can talk to. I miss having people to talk to. My friends use to help me out of these situations all the time. I can't trust anyone. I have so many problems since I moved here. They're getting worse. I was working on my novels to take my mind off of things, but I don't even feel that I'm a good writer. Everything seems pointless.

Everything keeps piling up. Last year, when I was homeless, my diabetes got so bad, it got exhausting. Especially from the blood sugar crashes. I can say I tried. I failed at everything. Nothing ever gets better, ever. I want to talk about this to my therapist. Hell, my car got towed a couple of months ago. I have to rely on my insurance to take me to therapy. I think they only give me so many rides, so I'm probably going to use up all those too. Nothing ever works out. When I go to sleep, every night, I just hope I die in my sleep. I don't care about anything anymore. I have no friends, I haven't dated in a year. This apartment I live in has cockroaches that come out of the walls. At night when I turn on the bathroom light, about a dozen of them crawl across the floor. I probably deserve this.

Should I talk to my therapist? I miss having friends to talk to.

 

[okidoke]

Yes

 

[TheRealCallie]

Okay, I don't know if this has been discussed yet (I'm precoffee, so please excuse me if you have), but is moving a possibility? To a better neighborhood or building, if nothing else?


But, to answer your questions, YES. You need to talk to someone.
Have you used the hotlines that are available? Dialing 988 is the new way to call the National hotline. You can also check into NAMI. It's an excellent resource.

You're in America, so there are a lot of options for you, no matter what the problem is. If you need help finding some, just let me know and I'll see what I can find if I don't already know about it.

 

[Murakami_1]

Your therapist is there for a reason. I am really sorry about the things you are going through, but your therapist will probably help you with seeing things more clearly.

 

[user 190481]

Yes please let all out to your therapist.

 

[SquareBin]

is it your first or second therapist perhaps ?
It's normal the first few times to be uncomfortable within the therapy. I have so many ******-up issues that it took me a good 6-8 months to really dive-in on my various issues.

just continue going to the therapist, and if the vibe is good, you'll be able to tell them without too much worrying (it does take a leap forward, but good trust will help you here)

if after some time (3 months I guess ?) it still feels like the vibes isn't great, then you can change therapist

(I've been going to therapist since I was 3 years old, I've had equal amount of years with therapy than without... so I'd say I have some "experience" with going to therapy...)

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I can understand the hesitation to talk to your therapist, but I can assure you taking things out in a safe space can work wonders for you I hope theres light at the end of the tunnel you are on a journey through. Also, maybe you can call a charity to help discuss your diabetes and your options… my dad had that, awful really can take the joy out of food.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

This may be a controversial opinion in this topic, but I do believe that 90% of the time, therapy is a scam.

The way I think about it; you go to your therapist, that therapist has a car, that car requires monthly payments, so as long as your therapist has a car, you're going to need therapy.

 

[okidoke]

This may be a controversial opinion in this topic, but I do believe that 90% of the time, therapy is a scam.

The way I think about it; you go to your therapist, that therapist has a car, that car requires monthly payments, so as long as your therapist has a car, you're going to need therapy.

I agree, but I would lower that percent down to 10%. I have seen many people greatly helped by therapy, but having said that, it wasn't much good for me. I ended up solving my issues on my own.

 

[TheRealCallie]

This may be a controversial opinion in this topic, but I do believe that 90% of the time, therapy is a scam.

The way I think about it; you go to your therapist, that therapist has a car, that car requires monthly payments, so as long as your therapist has a car, you're going to need therapy.

Therapy isn't a scam, if you are open to it working. That's the issue a lot of people have with it. It's not even about paying for it, it's about being open to looking at yourself and your problems from an outside perspective. It's also about finding the right person to talk to. You could totally find that for free if you have the right friend or family member and are willing to do the hard work required to make yourself better. But the thing with therapists that makes them different from most other people is that they took courses to be able to give you better advice.
Therapy isn't a magical fix. You will still be doing all the work, they are just trained better to give you the tools to make you more likely to succeed. Again, depending on whether you are actually open to it and you are willing to do the work required.

My kid has had probably at least a dozen therapists in his life. Two were good fits for him, one was literally the perfect therapist for him, the rest didn't help much at all. It's all about finding a good fit. The same is true for really anything in life. You need that good fit, for therapy, for romance, for friends, for doctors.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

Therapy isn't a scam, if you are open to it working. That's the issue a lot of people have with it. It's not even about paying for it, it's about being open to looking at yourself and your problems from an outside perspective. It's also about finding the right person to talk to. You could totally find that for free if you have the right friend or family member and are willing to do the hard work required to make yourself better. But the thing with therapists that makes them different from most other people is that they took courses to be able to give you better advice.
Therapy isn't a magical fix. You will still be doing all the work, they are just trained better to give you the tools to make you more likely to succeed. Again, depending on whether you are actually open to it and you are willing to do the work required.

My kid has had probably at least a dozen therapists in his life. Two were good fits for him, one was literally the perfect therapist for him, the rest didn't help much at all. It's all about finding a good fit. The same is true for really anything in life. You need that good fit, for therapy, for romance, for friends, for doctors.

See, that's the get-out clause of "if you're open to it working", because if it doesn't work, the blame gets shifted to the patient for "not believing hard enough". Imagine going to your doctor for antibiotics, only to be told their effectiveness relies entirely on how open you are to them working. That Lyme disease not clearing up? Guess you were just too closed minded for them to work.

Therapy is, at best, an open ended process with undefined measure of success. I'm just saying, the therapist has a financial incentive to keep you coming back every week until they retire, regardless of how well you're doing or not. If I could pay my mortgage surveying the same building every week for the rest of my life, I absolutely would, and would convince the owners it was absolutely essential to keep up with our weekly appointments.

 

[okidoke]

Therapy is, at best, an open ended process with undefined measure of success.

Like all professions, there are good and bad practitioners. And the depth of understanding mental health is growing all the time. How else apart from a mental therapy do you treat a mental disorder? Scientology disbelieves in psychiatric and psychological therapy, but I wouldn’t take their method of choice for therapy.

 

[Kar]

I agree that a good therapist is not that easy to find so takes a bit of shopping around but if you find a good one, they can be very, very helpful. My therapist even waved a fee once and that was one of the kindest, most generous things anyone has ever done to me.

 

[TheRealCallie]

See, that's the get-out clause of "if you're open to it working", because if it doesn't work, the blame gets shifted to the patient for "not believing hard enough". Imagine going to your doctor for antibiotics, only to be told their effectiveness relies entirely on how open you are to them working. That Lyme disease not clearing up? Guess you were just too closed minded for them to work.

Therapy is, at best, an open ended process with undefined measure of success. I'm just saying, the therapist has a financial incentive to keep you coming back every week until they retire, regardless of how well you're doing or not. If I could pay my mortgage surveying the same building every week for the rest of my life, I absolutely would, and would convince the owners it was absolutely essential to keep up with our weekly appointments.

Now see, mental disorders vs viruses and physical diseases are two completely different things. HOWEVER, there is actually "science" behind the whole placebo effect thing.

GOOD therapists won't WANT to continue seeing you week after week, they want you to get better and never see you again. My kid doesn't go every week. Sometimes he does, depending on what's going on in his life, but mostly, he goes every other week or even once a month.
There are some cases of mental illness that are caused by chemical imbalances and all that, but, IMO, most cases of anxiety and depression and the like are entirely your own doing. That's not to say that you don't have good reason to be depressed or anxious or whatever because you likely do, but in those cases, it is entirely on you to fix it. Yes, going to therapy to get helpful tools and an outside perspective is very helpful, but the hard work is entirely done by YOU. And I am not now and never will say it's an easy process to get over depression and anxiety. It's not. It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but it's also my greatest accomplishment. It was 100000000% worth the hell I went through to get over it.


I don't know how it is in other countries, but in America, you can pick whatever therapist you want, so for those in America (and if it's the same in other countries) I would recommend doing your research to get a therapist that specializes in whatever issue you have.