Showing a girl you want to be with her

[AFrozenSoul]

So recently I met a girl online. She happens to live really close to me. Since we live so close we just want to start hanging out in real life. While we have not known each other for very long. I want to try to develop a relationship with her.

To be honest I am not sure how to show her I have an interest in having an intimate relationship. Nor am I really sure how to tell if she is interested in having one with me. I know I managed to fluster her on more than one occasion. However, I am not sure if that means she has any real interest in me. She says she likes hearing about me. However, I am not sure hot to interpret that.

Any advice on how to start down this path?

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'd tell her how I felt about it. What you think of her, and what you might want to happen. No harm in talking about it, and at the very least, you'd have a deeper conversation than average. Something might come from simply talking about it.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I'd tell her how I felt about it. What you think of her, and what you might want to happen. No harm in talking about it, and at the very least, you'd have a deeper conversation than average. Something might come from simply talking about it.

I am scared that she will think I am only interested in meeting her to "hook up" with her. While not entirely false... I want her to still be a part of my life.

Plus I have heard that females do not like it when you just come out and say stuff like that. I don't want to kill her interest. Nor do I want to have to spend several months trying to make her want me.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Depends on the female. Personally, I appreciate when I'm told up front what a guy wants. Then I know if I should take it or leave it. Not all females are the same. It just depends on how she is.

 

[Badjedidude]

Then just be honest.

You seem to be unclear about your own goals in meeting her. Do you JUST want ***? Or do you want her in your life? Most girls won't allow you to have both without that:

several months trying to make her want me.

Sorry, man...but that just sounds really calculating and cold, when you say it like that. It sounds like you're saying that spending months with a woman would just be a chore with an end goal of her wanting to **** you...and that's just kinda messed up.

If that's not what you meant, then explain your statement so I can more fully understand exactly what you mean.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It was really cold to say that. Then if she doesn't end up caring about you, you'll wonder why, instead of realizing how you acted towards her. It shouldn't be a chore if you genuinely like her.

Also, trying to make someone want you doesn't really work. It's like trying to convince someone to eat food they don't like. Sure, they'll eat some, but in the end, they still don't like it. They'll just go to another food they do like.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Then just be honest.

You seem to be unclear about your own goals in meeting her. Do you JUST want ***? Or do you want her in your life? Most girls won't allow you to have both without that:

several months trying to make her want me.

Sorry, man...but that just sounds really calculating and cold, when you say it like that. It sounds like you're saying that spending months with a woman would just be a chore with an end goal of her wanting to **** you...and that's just kinda messed up.

If that's not what you meant, then explain your statement so I can more fully understand exactly what you mean.

I definitly want to have *** with her. I guess I am just confused about what it is to start a relationship.

What I meant with the whole months thing. Is I don't want to spend months in obscurity. Mainly because I don't want to scare her away.

It was really cold to say that. Then if she doesn't end up caring about you, you'll wonder why, instead of realizing how you acted towards her. It shouldn't be a chore if you genuinely like her.

Also, trying to make someone want you doesn't really work. It's like trying to convince someone to eat food they don't like. Sure, they'll eat some, but in the end, they still don't like it. They'll just go to another food they do like.

Again I am new to this who developing relationships thing. I am kind of scared just getting friend zoned. Or invading personal space... I just don't know what is going on.

 

[evanescencefan91]

hmm why don't you just ask, say it casual,

say something perhaps like " so out of curiosity, would you be interested in dating me?" maybe she'll say yes and things will be sweet,

if not she'd probably just say no, but I'm sure she'd still want to hang out with you, if that does happen, ya I'm sure you'll feel a little downtrodden but it's not the end of the world, be her friend and enjoy her company,

let's see if i can get this right withou looking it up

becuase even if it kills you to be just friends, if you really care about someone you'll take the hit




5 points to whomever can get the reffernce



and ps good luck

 

[Remedy]

There is a lot more to being with girls then just ***. *** can be like the deepest thing done between 2 people. I know not everyone is the same but to me its the best to be done with someone you love. It is probably so special that it's hard to put into words ^_^. If you really like her, you should just tell her how you feel. I agree with everyone that it's not that nice to consider it a "chore" to want to get to know her. If you like her then it should feel like a privelege to get to know her because she is so special to you. Although if you are really looking at it to just score then you should come out and tell her the truth.

Why not give love a chance though? I guess it's easier for me to want because that's all I have ever wanted to find. It's about taking a chance. I recently came out and told someone how I felt online, I've never been happier. I too was afraid of invading their personal space, but she responded and said she was flattered ^_^. So, take a chance by telling her how you feel. Be thankful you guys are so close to where you both live but no distance is too great for me anyways . Many girls want to be loved instead of being treated like a "chore" to get a chance to be scored with.

I'm just so happy that love is all I ever wanted, and maybe thats what you want too if you look deep down inside. Remember getting to know a girl is a privelege and not a chore, because they are so special to a guy. That's how I look at it because girls deserve to be cherished, especially ones you love or will love. Meeting someone online isn't only about scoring with them. I don't see how love cannot be formed from online interactions. I believe you can find someone anywhere that you can "click" with. I feel like that has happened to me and I just have never grown so fond of someone in my life. It feels so true, I'm saying this because I wanted to share my experience. Why not give it a chance to grow into something special instead of just wanting to have ***. *** is probably really fun I cannot lie, and will come with time with someone you care for deeply.

It's up to you what you really want though, just be truthful with them because they deserve it. Telling her how you feel can turn into something great, its just about trying. I took that chance like I said, and I have never been happier in my life. The internet can be so amazing and I so believe things can turn into something so great on it. It's happening right before my eyes.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

hmm why don't you just ask, say it casual,

say something perhaps like " so out of curiosity, would you be interested in dating me?" maybe she'll say yes and things will be sweet,

if not she'd probably just say no, but I'm sure she'd still want to hang out with you, if that does happen, ya I'm sure you'll feel a little downtrodden but it's not the end of the world, be her friend and enjoy her company,

let's see if i can get this right withou looking it up

becuase even if it kills you to be just friends, if you really care about someone you'll take the hit




5 points to whomever can get the reference



and ps good luck

Well I did tell her I did not want to weird her out because I am developing feelings for her. She said that she wasn't because she likes me. I am not sure how to interpret that. Mainly because I told her about my situation and feelings for another girl who left me for the a title I didn't give her. Told her how I was depressed because my source of happiness went away. So I am not sure how to interpret her response.

I know if I get turned down by her my heart will just give up. It will be nice to have another friend. However in my current state my heart will just break, should I screw something up with her.

There is a lot more to being with girls then just ***. *** can be like the deepest thing done between 2 people. I know not everyone is the same but to me its the best to be done with someone you love. It is probably so special that it's hard to put into words ^_^. If you really like her, you should just tell her how you feel. I agree with everyone that it's not that nice to consider it a "chore" to want to get to know her. If you like her then it should feel like a privilege to get to know her because she is so special to you. Although if you are really looking at it to just score then you should come out and tell her the truth.

Why not give love a chance though? I guess it's easier for me to want because that's all I have ever wanted to find. It's about taking a chance. I recently came out and told someone how I felt online, I've never been happier. I too was afraid of invading their personal space, but she responded and said she was flattered ^_^. So, take a chance by telling her how you feel. Be thankful you guys are so close to where you both live but no distance is too great for me anyways . Many girls want to be loved instead of being treated like a "chore" to get a chance to be scored with.

I'm just so happy that love is all I ever wanted, and maybe thats what you want too if you look deep down inside. Remember getting to know a girl is a privilege and not a chore, because they are so special to a guy. That's how I look at it because girls deserve to be cherished, especially ones you love or will love. Meeting someone online isn't only about scoring with them. I don't see how love cannot be formed from online interactions. I believe you can find someone anywhere that you can "click" with. I feel like that has happened to me and I just have never grown so fond of someone in my life. It feels so true, I'm saying this because I wanted to share my experience. Why not give it a chance to grow into something special instead of just wanting to have ***. *** is probably really fun I cannot lie, and will come with time with someone you care for deeply.

It's up to you what you really want though, just be truthful with them because they deserve it. Telling her how you feel can turn into something great, it's just about trying. I took that chance like I said, and I have never been happier in my life. The internet can be so amazing and I so believe things can turn into something so great on it. It's happening right before my eyes.

I will say I am kind of screwed up. My mind will only let me get so deep without ***. I cannot form the kind of attachment needed for something deep until I get *** out of my system. Which is another reason I am scared. Because I am sure I am going to spend a lot of time trying to seduce her when we start meeting. I am scared that will turn her off me... cause my mind is so screwed up I cannot appreciate a female as more than a friend until I have been with her.

I am also scared of her sensing this, and then trying to distance herself from me. I want to get this relationship right. Because if I don't I will probably never have another one. Because I am a pathetic shell of a human being.

I also know that I am to scared to try and make her number 1 in my heart. Because I still have another I really care about and want to be with. However, at the same time I am in so much pain that I want to start another relationship.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

When someone say they like hearing from me...somewhere alone the line there's gotta be sometype of interest.
Just keep it simple like and you won't get all ****** up in the head, so that you don't go thinking a million things
and get into a mindstrom.

Once you're out of your head you can be in the moment without ******* up the moment.
You'll simply be more at ease. Less tense. No worries.
Even if you goofed or kind of made a dork out of yourself. You've learned to let go of whatever hell your mind
will say when you goofed. Without over aynalizing everything...just make an acknowelegment...Okie doki..I goofed.
Forgive yourself or laugh at yourself. Process and let go...then get back into the moment again.
Just keep it simple like that.

There's nothing wrong with having sexaul desire for a woman. Hopefully that will help get rid of whatever internal conflicts you have.
Acknowlege it and accept it. Stop figthing it. Once you do this, it's not going to have the crazy grips it has on you.
Feeling guilty or preventing yourself of feeling guilty is too much work...you're too bussied chewing on the bone of guilt....therefore you're missing the moment.
Without the guilt, shame or internal conflicts...you'll simply be more at ease and not tripping. Not thinking so damn much.
This is the vibe you will put out...so when you interact with people...they'll also be more at ease and easy going. Makes for more of good experince.
People will associate you with thier feelings. So when she has memories of you..it'll be of good feelings. They'll simply prefer to innteract with you more.
That's the law of attraction.

If you go around bitching and moaing with a bad attitude..it's like a repellent...You know this. You don't like to hang with people that has a negative vibe for
too long..yourself.

How do you stop thinking negatively???
Just stop THINKING.lol
It's simple. It's like putting on the breaks of a runaway train.

Our thoughts drives our emotions...Stop thinking bad things and you won't generate bad feelings.
It's not that complicated. If you had habits of entertaining negative thoughts...then it's just a matter of breaking the habits.

Control your mind or it will control you.
Change your thinking, change your life.

How do i show i have interest in a woman???
I interact with her and say stuff like..." hey it's nice to see ya and hear from ya"

 

[AFrozenSoul]

So basically I just need to stop thinking about everything. Kind of hard for me to do... my mind is always working.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Well, I managed to come up with the courage to meet with this girl. We went and saw a movie last night. Aside from the awkward silence of first meeting. It was a lot of fun to hang out with her. I hope this is a good sign.

 

[VanillaCreme]

That's good. Glad you had a nice time with her. Now, continue to treat her like a human being, instead of just an object that you want to have a relationship with, and you should be fine.

 

[loketron]

give her two tickets to the gun show, and see if she likes the goods...

j/k thats how you dont hook up.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

That's good. Glad you had a nice time with her. Now, continue to treat her like a human being, instead of just an object that you want to have a relationship with, and you should be fine.

Ha ha... I am still nervous about how to keep her interested. There is not all that much to me that we didn't talk about online already. Just regular insecurities that I have...

 

[Badjedidude]

Ha ha... I am still nervous about how to keep her interested. There is not all that much to me that we didn't talk about online already. Just regular insecurities that I have...

Don't worry...as you experience more situations together, you'll start to invent personal jokes and find more things to talk about.

You've already done the hard part: getting the ball rolling downhill. Now it's just a matter of steering the ball so that it doesn't crash into anything. It's not as difficult as it sounds. Just have fun with her and things will be alright.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Badjedidude: I hope so... after all this is my first time steering the ball. I don't want to accidentally crash it.

 

[Badjedidude]

Heh no worries, man.

If you ever run out of things to talk about, just start making crap up. Drop casual hints that you were a CIA assassin at one point. Make snide comments about how soldiers in movies aren't doing things right. Talk about famously radical members of PETA as if you know them personally. Tell her that you can understand what someone's feeling because you felt the same thing as you were colonizing Mars.

Just make up wild stories and keep them going as long as you can.

It's good for a laugh, and deep down she'll secretly wonder if you REALLY ARE involved in something extraordinary...and why you're so amazingly interesting...which keeps the mystery going; something that women love.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Badjedidude: Just make stuff up eh? Sounds dangerous... that is how my previous relationship ended. I made up not wanting to be with her. It cost me greatly, but I guess it is worth a try.