sip it cut

[nyqil]

so what do you do when you've only ever loved that one person for almost your entire life. drowned by lust and desire for them. when you've ruined your health and turned into and addict from drugs just to numb that desire. i met this girl when i was 16, online. after a year and a half of dating long-distant i found out she was seeing another guy which devastated me, so much so I spent $1700 just to buy a ticket and see her in person and try and take her love back. while I was there she was there for me, we loved each other for that brief time. after coming back to my home she threw me a message saying that she was in love with me, but just couldn't do long-term. this is when we were 16. i'm 24 now & we still talk here and there. and after all these years, all the different women i've seen after her, all the drugs and ruining my health for the rest of my life, i'm still in love with her. i will think about her every night before I go to sleep. i can't stop. i can't tell her this because she will probably be overwhelmed and wouldn't know what to think besides that i'm really sad and weak and I want to hold on to the few words that we still share because it's all I have now...

do I just pretend to love another woman, while keeping my true desire in me to da grave? i'm afraid that i'll take my own life rather than being able to keep it inside me.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Have you seen if she is ready to give long term a try again? What do you have to lose by asking again?

You say you have met other women. Can I ask, have you really given them the chance you gave her?

 

[rosebud]

Long distant relationship never work the way they should. If you love her so much why don't you move in the same city she is leaving with? When you love someone that much I think the first thing to do is attempting to be as much as possible around them.

I don't think that the same kind of love that you had for her when you were a teen is still in you right now. Maybe you have another problem in your subconscious that is manifesting the way you describe. Sometimes feeling alone, unwanted and misunderstood can provoke those type of feelings to a person you associate with a better part of your life until now. I've known a person in that kind of situation. There is a strong possibility that I might be wrong about your temporary condition. Anyway, just a little food for thought, try to stay positive!

 

[nyqil]

My reply to both of you is, for one she has been in a long-term relationship (4 years now) with another man. Also, I can't just move to her city and be close to her. She lives in canada and I live in the US. It would take a lot of time for me to be able to live there legally & her being in a relationship with another man doesn't seem like it's worth it 2 go for it, also i'm on probation for 7 years for distribution of cocaine. Like I said before i'm afraid to risk telling her how I feel for the fear that's she'll stop talking to me all together. I hold on dearly to the conversations we do have from time to time.

Also, I -have- tried to give other women a chance. I was with one woman for two years, but I never had the feelings for anyone that I do for this girl and it seems like I never will no matter how beautiful and caring any other woman could be.

 

[rosebud]

Do you think she still has feelings for you now? You never know what might happen. If you're sure there are no chances whatsoever in the near future for something to work out between you two, you should just take it like a man and move on. It's not something good, unnecessary baggage, but we all drag something we don't want to through life. Do you think your past might have pushed her away?

 

[Twilight Sky]

Sounds like she is your first love.

Trust me, this is normal. And no I do not think you will love someone else as strong as you loved your first love(kinda like the first time having sex, each time after wont ever measure up to that first time). What you need to do is try and forgot how she made you feel. This way, this will not linger on into another relationship with a new woman. You *can* do it, it will take time.

 

[Yellow Eyes]

what twilight said is true...

What you need to do is try and forgot how she made you feel. This way, this will not linger on into another relationship with a new woman. You *can* do it, it will take time.

3 things u shud remember that is important:
1- forget
2- practice with another
3- time

i know this because i was inlove half of my life with a guy i only got to spend 3months with, me watching him from afar. (that doesnt seem to creepy does it?)