Has anyone experienced a best friend that suddenly finds a man then tells you that they only want to hear from you if it's a positive thing as nobody wants to know a negative person, also have to book in appointments to see said friend in advance now as she has found a partner and completely changed..he rather friends don't need to make appointments...I was also there for her through her seriously hard times and on the phone at all hours there to give her a lift etc.. I left a highly abusive relationship and I'm now loosing my amdy children's home and have lost everything and all she says to me is people don't want to know miserable people, she herself was miserable texting me pages and pages once and I was always there. I just feel so alone as my abusive ex pretty much destroyed my life and confidence amd I have nobody left, not one person I can call or meet up with, sometimes it seems pointless in life if nobody to even share a coffee and a chat with!
So called friends?
- Thread starter Loulou40
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Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
Many people are great at unloading grief onto others. But, very few accept it in return.
RandomFella
Well-known member
Exactly. It needs to be mutual.
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
I have noticed over the years that most people (male or female) who get into a relationship seems to "disappear" or change towards their friends. I never really understood it. Yes, I get that it's new and you want to explore, but on the other hand, it's new, whereas your friends have been there for you a long time....
Anyway, doesn't sound like she was really your friend and she can discard you so easily and not be there for you in a trying time. I actually know how that feels, as it happened to me too. A little differently, but ultimately the same. If you ever need to talk about it, feel free to PM me. I've been through abuse and remember all too well the feelings that followed the relationship ending.
Anyway, doesn't sound like she was really your friend and she can discard you so easily and not be there for you in a trying time. I actually know how that feels, as it happened to me too. A little differently, but ultimately the same. If you ever need to talk about it, feel free to PM me. I've been through abuse and remember all too well the feelings that followed the relationship ending.
It's a typical case of being substituted for someone else, with the addition of selfishness. I've had similar experiences; like when there's a sudden shortage of time to talk or meet up, or they disappear completely. True friends are there no matter what.. it's probably why I only have one. Lol.
^ I just hope for honesty.
Olivia24 said:
I guess some people are so devoted. But I find that kind of stuff a little extreme, I would never put somebody in such a position like that. For me it's friendship, trust, honestly, and that wouldn't turn their back on you if other events happen. IE meeting someone new, moving to a new town/city etc...
theablekingathelstan
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Loulou40 said:
This is unfortunate. I'm sorry to read this.
Your friend doesn't seem very nice imho. yes, i get that he's in a new relationship, but he shouldn't abandon his friends in the process.
I think you should confront him on this, since it's not on.
Loulou40 said:
I've never been in such a situation so I have no advice to give. All I can say is, people are very selfish and it seems to go around these days. But if I were in your situation I'd definitely try to make new friends and forget about that person altogether since she has no time for you out of her oh-so busy schedule.
Forgottendanfan
Well-known member
I'd be hesitant to even call this person a friend, if that's the kind of conditions she sets. It's tantamount to saying "I'll only be your friend if you're happy". ********.
I once had a 'friend' who, whenever we made an arrangement to meet, would often say to me: 'Come as long as you're happy,' Looking back, I wish I had broken off all contact with her at the time. If I were you, I would definitely look for kinder and more caring friends. This women sounds very selfish. If her relationship ever breaks up, I would not offer her any support if I were you. Not after the way she has treated you.
JJW
Well-known member
When you have a friend you have a team. When someone else is brought on board it changes the team dynamics and if it doesn't strengthen the team it weakens it.
In my experience it seems a couple can bring in a friend, but friends can't survive one becoming a part of a couple. You have to realize that the new party isn't friends with the friend. Loyalty is fickle. The new relationship will take precedence over the old.
As for friends abandoning the depressed or troubled, everyone wants help when they need it, but it is rare to find those that can give help when it is asked for. Most people live for their own advantages. You could call it selfishness, but in the beginning of man that quality allowed survival. Protect yourself, damn the rest. Those selfless souls had a shorter life expectancy. Evolution brought forward that sense of self preservation. We don't need to be selfish for survival any longer. But it's built in.
The good news is those that will put themselves out there for another aren't eaten anymore. So maybe as time progresses we will find more people that have heart enough to deal with someone that can't lift themselves up without help.
In my experience it seems a couple can bring in a friend, but friends can't survive one becoming a part of a couple. You have to realize that the new party isn't friends with the friend. Loyalty is fickle. The new relationship will take precedence over the old.
As for friends abandoning the depressed or troubled, everyone wants help when they need it, but it is rare to find those that can give help when it is asked for. Most people live for their own advantages. You could call it selfishness, but in the beginning of man that quality allowed survival. Protect yourself, damn the rest. Those selfless souls had a shorter life expectancy. Evolution brought forward that sense of self preservation. We don't need to be selfish for survival any longer. But it's built in.
The good news is those that will put themselves out there for another aren't eaten anymore. So maybe as time progresses we will find more people that have heart enough to deal with someone that can't lift themselves up without help.
Beth Griggs
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Some people are users - have met a lot of them. They want you to be there for them when they are bored or lonely or worried or sad but when it is the other way around they want fun or to see people who are happy. Once you know their true colours drop them, that is all you can do, yes it hurts, but keep fretting over it and trying to change it just prolongs the agony.
