so used to bad times, good times make me so nervous

[Peaches]

well, I guess this is a question, how do get over the nagging feeling that this won't last, that I will get cancer or an accident or something else to prevent me from having a decent life? I mean, lots of people leave perfectly happy lives, with lots of friends, a significant other, a job, a house, stability, why can't I have the same?
It has to be mentioned that I am used to extreme instability, no job, no friends, no relationship, (OK, not all the time, but mostly) and generally feeling like an outcast of society, and this time I have a chance at really integrating, and even while I am writing this a little voice is saying "that will never happen, it is not in the universe's law that you stay without worries". I am trying to concentrate on doing things, sport, meditation, inspiring readings, etc but I am so afraid that my psyche will find a way to screw up everything for me. What to do?

 

[FreedomFromLiberty]

What to do?

What can you do besides what you are doing already? I think the most important thing for you to focus on, however, is your own financial well-being. When you have your financial situation in order and money in the bank, taking care of the other problems of life becomes that much easier. It's hard to feel like you have options in life when you're in fear of not knowing where you're going to be sleeping next month.

Once you've achieved the baseline of financial stability, spending your time pursuing new experiences and meeting new people is the next step to take. That's the step I'm currently on.

 

[Tiina63]

Your life so far has been unstable and lonely, so it is natural that you can't trust that you could be happy and have the same things as many other people have. Changing your world view is not something which can be done overnight and you will probably alternate for a long time between one day believing that things are finally going well for you and the next day feeling that something bad is about to happen. I think if you are prepared for this, it will be easier for you than expecting yourself to be able to just dump all of your negative feelings and worries overnight.

 

[MadMonkè]

wow thats heavy.

i think you deserve to be happy. true happiness is not something easily taken away.

having things to be happy is too materialistic... too fragile a happiness... that doesnt last.
your car can get old or your tv breaks or whatever... they couldnt and shouldnt be the source of your happiness...

like that songs goes... its not having what you want. its wanting what you got.
tacky but true.

And I hope you find yours one day. we can have a beer or something when you do.
is that a thing?
I used to do that with a close friend who was far away.... we both have a beer at the same time and talk like we were in the same room.

 

[Lonesome2]

I'm new to this sight, and I joined because I would like to connect to others (while I have an Internet connection), who may be experiencing bad times like I am, and willing to tell their story.

I'm have no job, no friends, or family. I'm trying to start my life all over again. While looking at the bright side of being employed again, making new friends, and eventually finding that special someone to love. However, what I'm finding out is, having no money makes it almost impossible to aquire any friends. And if you cannot pay your bills, a job can be hard to come by if your credit is held against you in a background check.

I can empathize, I'm so used to bad times, good times make me nervous as they tend to come to me as situations too good to be true, and ultimately end in shattered hopes.

 

[Despicable Me]

I know EXACTLY what you mean, Peaches.
I was so used to 'the bad times' and instability I felt that, too, a while back when I was younger.
I still worry occasionally because it really does seem like 'bad luck' likes to follow me around, but overall those things are a different kind of instability, they are mostly 'normal' things that just happen in life. I've learned to accept the good with the bad now. I don't see 'good' or 'bad', I just see my life. I have changed my perspective just as much as the things in my life have changed.

I can't promise that things will improve 100%, and that you won't worry at all anymore, but things really do get better. You will adjust. Things will be okay.
That is something I never learned in my childhood - Things will be okay.

 

[lifestream]

Sit back, relax, enjoy the ride. Don't sabotage yourself by overthinking it all. Just live in the moment.

And most importantly, Peaches, you deserve some happiness in your life.

 

[Peaches]

hey, that's my old thread from 2012! the past comes to haunt me… (whoooooo) thanks anyway

 

[lifestream]

Agh, I hate when this happens! I'm glad that the problem is way, way behind you anyway, Peaches.

 

[Despicable Me]

I didn't even realize the topic was that old... Someone else posted first to bump it. >.<