Social Loneliness

[ChessGuy42]

Has anyone else experienced a feeling of loneliness... maybe isolation, or being disconnected... while being entirely social?

I had an interesting experience last night...

I've mentioned, one or twice, that I go to biweekly karaoke night every now and then. Because of the town size and the regularity of this karaoke night, everyone who goes to it knows at least who everyone else is... even if they don't really socialize.

Anyway, I've acquired a few good drinking buddies at this event, and a fairly large group of people with whom I'm at least well acquainted, if not friends. One of the drinking buddies, a woman who we'll identify as S, was approached by one of her friends, a woman we'll identify as P. P was pretty distraught - her 'psycho ex' had just walked into the bar. P had also tried to talk to a couple of the other guys who she's friendly with... and all but one ignored her. The one who didn't ignore her actually laughed at her. Anyway, S... who was already very drunk... asked me to keep an eye on the guy and from that point on, I made it a point of knowing where both P and the psycho ex were until P left for the night.

The point of this story: I just don't under how P's guy friends could ignore her and laugh at her when she's distraught. I try to be a social person, but it seems something like this is always happening to make me feel isolated because I actually hold myself to an ethical standard of behavior. It could be that I just don't properly understand the mindset of other people my age(25) or that this is a result of the small, rural college down I live in. I'm not sure.

Has anyone else noticed anything like this or had similar experiences?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It's call...."fresia, is this it ? There has to be more to life than just wasting my time and energy
hanging out in bars". Peaple being wierd is call socializing ???. Err..fresia that honeysuckle..lol
mmm...the mindset of drunk people is usually that they are intoxicated and don't give a fresia..lol

I lived in big cities, medium size cites,and small towns.
Going to clubs or bars..most of the time you get used to not worry to much what people think when
living in a city..becuase you simply don't see the same faces twice.
In small towns..it gets old and boring real quick..I went bar hoping.

mmm...I don't think I'd expect too much ethic out of drunk people.
I had a lot of drinking buddies and what not. I didnt expect much from them.

I personally had to make a life style change.

 

[Haven]

I know what you mean, understanding people is like trying to read a foreign language some times you know a few words here and there but most of the times you cant make heads or tales of whats going on in there heads.

 

[The Lost Runner]

Yep, I often feel lonely even when surrounded by people. I'd rather spend my time alone than with people I feel like I can't connect to.

 

[Bobby Z]

oh yes, i can completely understand this, infact i usually do go out with friends every week end, how ever i will usually come home feeling like shite because i didn't have a good time at all, in fact it's one of the worst feelings.

 

[Oceanmist23]

I'd rather spend my time alone than with people I feel like I can't connect to.

That I can agree to, definitely. I find it horrible to be around people who I can't connect to. The whole situation just goes awkward and there's silence and the other person will make some excuse to escape or someone they do connect with will come to their rescue...

I really should start a club for singles and couples who are childfree and wish to remain that way... I think if we have that bit in common we'll have other things in common too.. at least we'll have that issue to discuss/rant about lol

 

[cheaptrickfan]

The point of this story: I just don't under how P's guy friends could ignore her and laugh at her when she's distraught. I try to be a social person, but it seems something like this is always happening to make me feel isolated because I actually hold myself to an ethical standard of behavior. It could be that I just don't properly understand the mindset of other people my age(25) or that this is a result of the small, rural college down I live in. I'm not sure.

Has anyone else noticed anything like this or had similar experiences?

My take on this is that when drunk, lots of people don't like anything acting as a buzz-kill.

Also, your friend must think of you as someone who is dependable and trustworthy, even when out on a night of drunkenness.

It's a mixed-blessing, having standards and having people recognize that, because then they'll have higher expectations of you than they might have of others.