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I believe in Jesus, and I asked him into my heart at the age of 6. Thus Christianity has been a big part of my life. The Bible has been guide for me. As a result I value humility highly. I also don't like selfishness.

I have trouble with knowing if I'm truly humble or not. But I strive to be humble. I also try to be less selfish, so that I care about others.

What I want is a good connection with some other human beings. I even want a woman in my life. A Christian Woman of course. I know Christianity is becoming less and less popular today. But I have been to many different Christian Social Networking sites, and Christian Forums, for years and years. I never meet anyone that great. I never meet anyone that I click with. Even when I don't advertise my Christianity to people, and hang out where people are mostly unbelievers. I still don't find women that I click with. The problem is, a lot of people just seem to be so selfish. They don't want to get involved with anyone's life. They just seem to want to go online show off, and then go silent. I don't understand this. Don't they want to make connection too? And for the people they do connect with, how can they tell that, that person is a good guy or not unless they give him a chance?

If I didn't need the internet for other important things. I think I'm ready to unsubscribe from the Internet and go back to living the way I did before I had it. You see way back when joined the internet, my real life social life had died out. The job I had to take, made me even more isolated. And my learning disability made it hard for me to drive and get out more. I live in the country with my parents. Public transportation is not only frowned on by my parents, but there isn't much of it anyways.

Doing nice things for women. I've done many nice and thoughtful things for women at work. And I've done nice thoughtful things for women online. At best I would get a little thank you. At worse, I would get a complaint. I was emailing a woman some computer wallpapers because she seemed to like them. The problem was, her inbox, gets full quickly. So now she only wants me to email them once a week. I tried to suggest that she just open up a free gmail account, and let me send them to that account. I said, then whenever you are in the mood for them, you can just log into it, and download what you like. I even pointed out that they give you 15 gigabytes of free storage. Even if I emailed all 3,000 of my wallpapers to that, they would only take up 4 gigabytes of that storage. Seems like a good plan to me. But I doubt she will do that. (((shruggs))) I'm just using this as an example of how I try to come to a good compromise with someone, but rather than pick an option that would totally fix the problem. They would rather me do it their way. Maybe I will do it their way, or maybe I will just quit doing it. You see, I'm busy too. And thus, when I do something nice for someone, I need the freedom to be able to do it when time permits me to do it.

That is one of the reasons why I don't use instagram or facebook. They have rules that keep me from being able to get as much work done on the site as I can. You are limited on how many comments you can make before the site thinks you are a spammer. I don't got time for that nonsense. Plus people basically just treat those sites like the pastor once said. Facebook is Bragbook. Or as my, once, online friend said, Facebook is Fakebook. I know that some people are able to make places like I describe work, but it is because they are able to fit in with the way those sites do things. And they don't care about the data collection or how it is sold to whom, as long as they give them a platform to release the information they want to release. Personally I don't like to post pictures of myself anymore. I seldom do videos too. I really long for just having connection with people. Someone to talk and share with... Without going to all the extremes to get attention from others.

When it comes to my faith. It is very important to me. But you don't need it to be important if you want to talk to me about computers. You don't need it to be important if you want to talk about hobbies. And there are some other topics that my faith isn't important too. But if you want to marry me, of course it's important. I just feel that I have been very flexible and considerate of others... Lately I feel empty. Like something is missing.
 
I don't have a Christian leader. The Bible doesn't give me advice for this.
You don’t have a Christian leader? Can’t you reach out to one? Isn’t your ultimate leader a prayer away?

I don’t mean to be facetious, but something I’ve heard many times in my life: when you’re at a loss, quiet your mind and ask the universe (in your case God) your question and listen carefully for the answer.
 
On the face of it: you are a janitor; so that's not necessarily viewed as impressive as far as careers go (that's not meant to be offensive; just trying to cover the basics.). Being nice is nice, but it often is just one aspect of the dynamic system of interpersonal relationships. Some people can take or leave niceness, provided other things are in place. It's possible your experiences in life are not as diverse as others: that leads to less commonalities to bridge connections with. Your location, is a limit on who you may encounter and meet. Your circumstances effect this. For example living in a large city gives one opportunity to meet more people, but, in the city, social encounters are often brief and more trivial than in a small city or town. And conversely in a small city or town, there may be more opportunity to really get to know some one, but the chances of the right some one coming along is diminished.

Physical fitness and competence can be attractive. Humor can be attractive. Social status and wealth are often attractive. Good deeds can be attractive, but also repulsive; that's always a mixed bag. Set some one in front of their perfect mate, and next to that $100,000 dollars, and a choice between the two, and many us, wouldn't be wise enough to see the true fortune in the person, rather than what the money could do for them.

As far as the philosophical/spiritual aspect is concerned: I think those who are truly humble aren't really concerned as to whether they are truly humble or not. There are entirely, utterly selfish people, that people love, dearly. There are utterly selfless people that are despised for their good nature.

As for me: the Jesus I know, hung out with tax collectors, prostitutes, lepers, and other deplorables, and always had his apostles guessing and trying to keep the pace with him; and in his hour of need, contemplating that he would soon be arrested and put to death, they were selfish, and slept, rather than pray for and with him. One would betray him. Another would deny his faith in Him three times. To me, this just speaks to the fact that, as humans, we have our failings, and they are quite inherent and intractable at times.

As for me, I find genuine selfishness is something I am not good at. And it's probably equally likely genuine selflessness is just as difficult for me.

Yeshua said to his disciples, "cast your net on the other side." I think the general sentiment there is, if something isn't working, try changing things up. If kindness isn't appreciated on the left, try it on the right side. Or, perhaps where selflessness isn't working out, give selfishness a try. And where selfishness isn't working out, give selflessness a try. I'm not saying one should be outright malicious; though for the times we try to do good, sometimes we can get in our own way trying to go about doing good, that is ultimately ineffective for all concerned.

It's quite common to be lonely, and quite common to not be able to alleviate or remedy the situation. 😕

On the bright side, perhaps a kind nature, is like an umbrella: not always needed, but when it begins to pour, it can come in handy. :)
 
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