Sometimes I feel like I'm nothing

[WallflowerGirl83]

Thank you ladyforsaken, your words mean a lot to me! Thank you! =)

*gives you a hug back*

 

[Iceman1978]

I'm glad more and more people keep opening themselves up and responding to my thread. Here I kept thinking what a loser I was and kept thinking what a horrible person I am. For years I would constantly beat myself up cause of how others treated me in the past. Still to this day I have my good days and bad days, and on my bad days I feel very sad and vulnerable. There's other days where I feel like I'm reading to far into people's words cause I'm so used to being criticized and being made fun of by others. Got away from my abusive boyfriend too which I'm thankful for, and he used to name call me and control me. Anything I did or said, he would beat me down to a pulp... felt very vulnerable and even started hating myself. Now I have a hard time trusting people or getting close to people cause I'm so paranoid that I'll be abused again.

Started therapy recently and it's going wonderful for me. Really want to heal, so I no longer will have negative thoughts about myself. Just trust me, I can relate with all of you for how you feel. And wanted to let you know my heart goes out to you all who is suffering with low self esteem.

Wow! What you have described sounds exactly like me.

I'm so used to being criticized, belittled, put down, and made fun of that I've almost come to a point where I expect it.

I've had women who've called me ugly right to my face, told me I was a loser, and that I was a nobody. After a while you start to believe those things.

 

[newguy]

You tried to help me in one of my first threads here, so I don't think your nothing

 

[jzinsky]

Wallflower you're a valued and respected member of this community. Keep your chin up, we're all in this together

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Wallflower you're a valued and respected member of this community. Keep your chin up, we're all in this together

Thank you.

It really means a lot to me. Haven't been on in awhile cause I'm suffering from depression at the moment and trying to get my life back together. Sometimes I feel so lost and I feel like nobody cares.... but I know that's just the negativity that's racing inside my mind.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

We all get down sometimes.

I certainly don't think you're nothing. Big hugs to you.

 

[a lonely person]

some times i wish i was nothing

 

[jzinsky]

some times i wish i was nothing

I know how you feel, but please don't try to be nothing here. As long as we know you're active you'll get support from all of us

 

[Tinderleaf]

I'm so used to being criticized, belittled, put down, and made fun of that I've almost come to a point where I expect it.

This I can relate to and I sympathize with you Wallflower as to times when we feel like nothing especially in the face of adversity, scrutiny and mistakes we make from time to time. Just like myself, no one's perfect and there will be moments when you will get scrutinized by the important people around you even when you make the smallest mistake as such. If anything, we just have to dig deep, find the ones worth suffering for and keeping fighting to get back on track. After all, when there's a will, there's a way.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I'm glad more and more people keep opening themselves up and responding to my thread. Here I kept thinking what a loser I was and kept thinking what a horrible person I am. For years I would constantly beat myself up cause of how others treated me in the past. Still to this day I have my good days and bad days, and on my bad days I feel very sad and vulnerable. There's other days where I feel like I'm reading to far into people's words cause I'm so used to being criticized and being made fun of by others. Got away from my abusive boyfriend too which I'm thankful for, and he used to name call me and control me. Anything I did or said, he would beat me down to a pulp... felt very vulnerable and even started hating myself. Now I have a hard time trusting people or getting close to people cause I'm so paranoid that I'll be abused again.

Started therapy recently and it's going wonderful for me. Really want to heal, so I no longer will have negative thoughts about myself. Just trust me, I can relate with all of you for how you feel. And wanted to let you know my heart goes out to you all who is suffering with low self esteem.

Wow! What you have described sounds exactly like me.

I'm so used to being criticized, belittled, put down, and made fun of that I've almost come to a point where I expect it.

I've had women who've called me ugly right to my face, told me I was a loser, and that I was a nobody. After a while you start to believe those things.

you shouldn't believe her !
Why take notice of someone who is as rude as that, saying someone is ugly ?
Ignore her !

 

[GearsOfWar93]

You are somebody. People look at you in confusion when you say that because they dont think your weird. Having PTSD and being bi polar doesn't make you. You make you dont let them define you. When you get the negative thoughts try and shut them down hard as it is you can do it. Think of anything that makes you happy focus on something small or big anything to get the thoughts out. Get up in the morning look in the mirror and see that you are someone and that you matter. No life is for nothing if it was you would get more then one shot at it.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Thank you Gears Of War, yeah my whole life I went by thinking that being bi polar and PTSD defined me. Still worry that nobody could ever be interested in me, cause I always fear that once they realized I suffer from a mental illness that they'll suddenly stop talking to me right away. It truly makes me happy though that people keep replying to this thread and it makes me feel less alone than I did before.

It's especially hard when you having moods going back and forth everyday. There's times where I feel like talking to people and than there's days where I just want to be alone, be lost in my thoughts and not have to worry about answering to anyone. Sometimes I feel like I confused people by my actions... but it's extremely hard when you have a disorder like this. It's all so confusing and it frustrates me at the same time.

 

[Bebeskii]

You know what? We're not alone. Because We're together right here.

 

[Pike Queen]

I can also relate to you. Any time I get even a tiny bit of self esteem, something knocks it down. Even if it's in my mind. I end up feeling exactly the same as before. Feeling worthless is a feeling that will just never go away.

Good for you for realizing that you need to work on your depression. It takes a strong person to do that. I wish you the best.