Papabear
Well-known member
After my most recent dating debacle in which I gave the woman a lot of leniency due to the things she had going on in her life. I was open, understanding, and trustful. Normally when things begin to go bad in relationships I look to myself as the one being in the wrong, and can usually find fault quite easily, all the while knowing that they are just as much to blame as I am. I can't take it anymore. The last thing I said to this woman was.
"This is not ending well and I won't have good feelings when I look back on this. You are a measure for people to avoid in my life. I hope to god you don't treat anyone else like this, let alone someone who is not only willing, but wanting to give you the world. You made me feel inadequate, unappreciated, and unimportant, but most of all, you made me miserable"
I hate that I had to say this to her, and it is still tearing me apart, but I'm tired of being stepped on and my feelings and thoughts being undervalued. It needed to be said.
This woman isn't the first time I've had women treat me like this and they aren't from the same "category" of women so I'm disinclined to believe that it's just "the type of women I've dated". They've all been from different spectrums of life, and have all acted the same.
I've come to the conclusion that if you treat a woman the way she deserves to be treated, she will only prove to you why she doesn't and probably make you feel like crap in the process
I don't know anymore how I'm supposed to feel about dating. I want a good relationship, as I've had them before, they all started with me being "the bad boy" because of my situations in life at the time. But I don't like being that person and the concept of attracting someone interested in "the bad boy" repulses me. I'm beginning to think that maybe it's not so bad to do this and that being a d-bag is really just the way things have to be in contemporary dating cultures.
I know the "all women aren't like this" and "you just haven't met the right one" stories all to well, but quite frankly they seem to come from people who typically have NO concept of what a good relationship ACTUALLY is and more than likely ended up in the right place at the right time more than anything else.
So now I'm lost on how to act. I feel bitter and resentful towards not only women but people in general. I don't want to feel this way, but I fear it's the only possible outcome from so many continued failures (and the methods of those failures). Am I to blame for trusting and respecting women, if not me, then who? How should I react to this, to how I feel, and to how I do or don't want to feel?
To add, I'm 24 and my most recent dating experience was also 24, maybe it's just the age.
"This is not ending well and I won't have good feelings when I look back on this. You are a measure for people to avoid in my life. I hope to god you don't treat anyone else like this, let alone someone who is not only willing, but wanting to give you the world. You made me feel inadequate, unappreciated, and unimportant, but most of all, you made me miserable"
I hate that I had to say this to her, and it is still tearing me apart, but I'm tired of being stepped on and my feelings and thoughts being undervalued. It needed to be said.
This woman isn't the first time I've had women treat me like this and they aren't from the same "category" of women so I'm disinclined to believe that it's just "the type of women I've dated". They've all been from different spectrums of life, and have all acted the same.
I've come to the conclusion that if you treat a woman the way she deserves to be treated, she will only prove to you why she doesn't and probably make you feel like crap in the process
I don't know anymore how I'm supposed to feel about dating. I want a good relationship, as I've had them before, they all started with me being "the bad boy" because of my situations in life at the time. But I don't like being that person and the concept of attracting someone interested in "the bad boy" repulses me. I'm beginning to think that maybe it's not so bad to do this and that being a d-bag is really just the way things have to be in contemporary dating cultures.
I know the "all women aren't like this" and "you just haven't met the right one" stories all to well, but quite frankly they seem to come from people who typically have NO concept of what a good relationship ACTUALLY is and more than likely ended up in the right place at the right time more than anything else.
So now I'm lost on how to act. I feel bitter and resentful towards not only women but people in general. I don't want to feel this way, but I fear it's the only possible outcome from so many continued failures (and the methods of those failures). Am I to blame for trusting and respecting women, if not me, then who? How should I react to this, to how I feel, and to how I do or don't want to feel?
To add, I'm 24 and my most recent dating experience was also 24, maybe it's just the age.
