Staying single?

[Equinox]

I like being single. I'll always want to be single. I like the freedom and the space, and I enjoy evading stupid couples arguments and conflicts.

This is probably the biggest lie of my life. I tell it to everyone, even my closest friends. I've told it so many times, I sometimes even fool myself, but I actually don't want to be single at all. I've been single all my life, and for every year without that "special someone" I feel more lonely, and more like a freak. Seriously, what kind of girl who desperately WANTS a relationship can't manage to find as much as ONE suitable guy in almost 30 years?

I feel like a lost cause. I go to bed hugging my pillow every night, wishing it was a person. I occasionally make great, fancy dinners for myself, just so that I can pretend to make it for two while I'm doing it. I have tried wishing and praying. I have tried "not wanting it" (because, apparently, that's when it happens). I have tried going out, I have tried joining interest groups, I have tried dating sites. I even went to a speed dating event once (almost got me a creepy stalker), and also to an all singles party event. Nothing. Nobody. I'm currently in the process of accepting that there simply isn't anyone out there for me, and I'll spend my entire life alone - and I think that sucks.

Wow, that was actually really hard to say. It's been years since the last time I admitted (to myself or anyone else) that I wish I had someone.

 

[Sprint]

I like being single. I'll always want to be single. I like the freedom and the space, and I enjoy evading stupid couples arguments and conflicts.

This is probably the biggest lie of my life. I tell it to everyone, even my closest friends. I've told it so many times, I sometimes even fool myself, but I actually don't want to be single at all. I've been single all my life, and for every year without that "special someone" I feel more lonely, and more like a freak. Seriously, what kind of girl who desperately WANTS a relationship can't manage to find as much as ONE suitable guy in almost 30 years?

I feel like a lost cause. I go to bed hugging my pillow every night, wishing it was a person. I occasionally make great, fancy dinners for myself, just so that I can pretend to make it for two while I'm doing it. I have tried wishing and praying. I have tried "not wanting it" (because, apparently, that's when it happens). I have tried going out, I have tried joining interest groups, I have tried dating sites. I even went to a speed dating event once (almost got me a creepy stalker), and also to an all singles party event. Nothing. Nobody. I'm currently in the process of accepting that there simply isn't anyone out there for me, and I'll spend my entire life alone - and I think that sucks.

Wow, that was actually really hard to say. It's been years since the last time I admitted (to myself or anyone else) that I wish I had someone.

It was very brave of you to admit this.

You aren't a "lost cause" though. It isn't an easy task to find suitable people! This is probably 1 of the most difficult things to do in life.

You're only 30. There is still time... plenty of time. I've learned the best things in life, 1 cannot rush.

There is someone out there for you... and I'm not just saying that to comfort you. It's pure mathematics. There are a lot of people on this planet & the chances of you finding a mate who will match your requirements is not low. You sound like a great woman... give it time... give it patience.

 

[Equinox]

Thank you, Sprint. I don't really believe those mathematics, nor that time will make things better, but I appreciate you trying to cheer me up.

Oh, and I'm not 30 yet. I'm 29. There's a BIG difference.

 

[annik]

Oh, and I'm not 30 yet. I'm 29. There's a BIG difference.

I'm completely with you on that!!

As for the topic, I've never really seen whether I'm single or not as my choice. I don't feel I'm single because I don't feel like dating and I don't feel I could decide to change the situation. It's hard to explain and makes me seem a bit weedy or something.

I know I'd like a relationship though and a full one too. A "friend" is very into the whole "friends with benefits" thing and is pretty much constantly trying to get me to do it, which I won't ever!. Pretty much invited me to a threesome with a girl who's ok with it! My reply after saying it wasn't my thing was "whats the point of sex if you can't argue over who's turn it was to buy the milk too"...

 

[Badjedidude]

KEEP IN MIND:

Being single doesn't mean NOT having sex or dating.

You can be single and STILL go on dates and party and have sex or whatever.

Being single doesn't mean being alone and celibate.

...just thought I'd clear up any misconceptions with that one.

 

[Yellow Eyes]

Whenever my friends and I speak about relationships, they refuse to believe me whenever I say that I plan to remain single and don't have any intention of getting married or settling down. I like having people in my life, but I don't think I'd like to live with someone forever.
Are any of you willingly single? Or did any of you change your minds about relationships later in life?

i would rather stay single from the rest of my life than to experience loving someone and to feel that they do not feel the same way as you do to them.
the famous quote "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." is in my opinion, a load of bull.
if i could turn back time, i would stop myself from falling inlove and just be a single nerd my whole life.
falling in love sucks ***.

 

[Sprint]

Thank you, Sprint. I don't really believe those mathematics, nor that time will make things better, but I appreciate you trying to cheer me up.

Oh, and I'm not 30 yet. I'm 29. There's a BIG difference.

There must be a big difference - I know a lot of women who stay at 29 for several years

---

i would rather stay single from the rest of my life than to experience loving someone and to feel that they do not feel the same way as you do to them.
the famous quote "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." is in my opinion, a load of bull.
if i could turn back time, i would stop myself from falling inlove and just be a single nerd my whole life.
falling in love sucks ***.

Agree! I would prefer to go back to a time when I had not loved yet.

 

[jjam]

Is it that those of you who have chosen to remain single have a history of a string of bad relationships? Or are you simply hopeless about ever finding someone? Or just closer to the a-sexual side of things?

None of those apply to me. In fact, what I remember of the VERY few romantic relationships I've had actually inspire me to want to find someone again.

 

[Thomas]]

Equinox!

Keep your head up, you!

I really feel like I know how you're feeling. But you must believe in yourself :shy: . I don't know anything about you obviously... but I think you seem really authentic, genuine and warm-hearted. You seem like the type who loves to be loved, and I can think of plenty of people I know who'd jump at the opportunity to meet someone like you.

I know this feeling so much, and it upsets me to see others going through the same thing . But you can get through it. You have friends who you can rely on, and that's what matters the most :shy:. I really hope you get that "special someone" soon, cos I think you deserve it :shy:

 

[beans]

KEEP IN MIND:

Being single doesn't mean NOT having sex or dating.

You can be single and STILL go on dates and party and have sex or whatever.

Being single doesn't mean being alone and celibate.

...just thought I'd clear up any misconceptions with that one.

lol now why wouldn't we think that?

---

Is it that those of you who have chosen to remain single have a history of a string of bad relationships? Or are you simply hopeless about ever finding someone? Or just closer to the a-sexual side of things?

None of those apply to me. In fact, what I remember of the VERY few romantic relationships I've had actually inspire me to want to find someone again.

Well there are a few reasons of course. Some people really do want to be single because they don't want the responsibility that comes with it or that it's economical for them. Some others also want to be single because they are bitter and can't get over their exes. Then you have those who do want someone but have psyched themselves that they'd rather be alone because of past hurts and they think that the entire world is evil. Then there are those who also want someone but worry they actually may not find someone, so to save face, they'll just say they want to be alone when secretly, they are lonely as hell. So it's better to say they prefer to be single so when they didn't actually find someone, it looks better on them.

---

I like being single. I'll always want to be single. I like the freedom and the space, and I enjoy evading stupid couples arguments and conflicts.

This is probably the biggest lie of my life. I tell it to everyone, even my closest friends. I've told it so many times, I sometimes even fool myself, but I actually don't want to be single at all. I've been single all my life, and for every year without that "special someone" I feel more lonely, and more like a freak. Seriously, what kind of girl who desperately WANTS a relationship can't manage to find as much as ONE suitable guy in almost 30 years?

I feel like a lost cause. I go to bed hugging my pillow every night, wishing it was a person. I occasionally make great, fancy dinners for myself, just so that I can pretend to make it for two while I'm doing it. I have tried wishing and praying. I have tried "not wanting it" (because, apparently, that's when it happens). I have tried going out, I have tried joining interest groups, I have tried dating sites. I even went to a speed dating event once (almost got me a creepy stalker), and also to an all singles party event. Nothing. Nobody. I'm currently in the process of accepting that there simply isn't anyone out there for me, and I'll spend my entire life alone - and I think that sucks.

Wow, that was actually really hard to say. It's been years since the last time I admitted (to myself or anyone else) that I wish I had someone.

I feel ya. Hugs.

 

[Badjedidude]

lol now why wouldn't we think that?

You'd be surprised.

A lot of people equate being single with being lonely and miserable and never having sex.

*shrug*

Sad.

 

[jjam]

Beans!!!!

 

[Equinox]

Equinox!

Keep your head up, you!

I really feel like I know how you're feeling. But you must believe in yourself :shy: . I don't know anything about you obviously... but I think you seem really authentic, genuine and warm-hearted. You seem like the type who loves to be loved, and I can think of plenty of people I know who'd jump at the opportunity to meet someone like you.

I know this feeling so much, and it upsets me to see others going through the same thing . But you can get through it. You have friends who you can rely on, and that's what matters the most :shy:. I really hope you get that "special someone" soon, cos I think you deserve it :shy:

Thank you! I actually feel a little better now.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

You and I shared similar ideas.... Past tense of course. My views changed when I learned how much I enjoy sex. However, I am pretty sure once I am confident in my ability to get women into bed I will be single as well.

The reason why so many people don't believe you, is because being single is taboo. If you do not have a mate. Then you are not contributing to the survival of your clan or nation. Therefore, you are bad and messed up.

I have felt your pain though. Granted when I was like you my reasons were out of bitterness not wanting my own life.