user 190541
Killer of Henry Kissinger
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2023
- Messages
- 338
- Reaction score
- 165
So I matched with this girl. She was nerdy and seemed to be quite fun. Not very attractive, tho, but it's not that important because at first it's just conversation, and conversation is fun and naturally you'd like to talk with people who have the same interests and hobbies that you do. All was fine until she asked me what I was looking for in that place, in particular (totally not the most cliché question ever to ask in dating sites), then I answered that, ideally, I would like to meet a very nice girl that views the world the same way as I do, and that, God willing (yes, for an agnostic person I mention God quite a lot), I would like to eventually have a relationship with such a girl, but since this seemed to be asking for too much (for dating site standards), I was content with just talking to people and didn't give the issue much thought. She then almost immediately replied that my answer was "weird". I asked why. She said that no one ever approaches anyone with the intent of having a relationship, and that the interest, at first, is always "casual". "How am I supposed to want to have a relationship with someone I don't even know?", she asked.
I don't think she understood that I meant to say that, so to speak, I'd be evaluating the women I match with in order to assess the feasibility (or lack thereof) of a relationship, but that's beside the point. I then made a couple of rhetorical questions with the intent of showing just how absurd her thinking seemed to me. First I asked, "so every man who approaches you has casual intentions?". She said "yes". Then I asked "have any of such casual encounters ever developed into an actual relationship?". She said that one of them did, and that that's how she got her ex-girlfriend. I answered that that doesn't count, that I was talking specifically about men. The lack of an answer to that seemed to imply that such a thing never happened, as far as men are concerned. You could tell she was getting slightly annoyed. She asked "and why do women not count, exactly?". I answered that I was trying to make a point about male psychology. She said "then do it". Then I told her one of men's (not so secretive) secrets: that men oftentimes view certain women as worthy of no more than sex, and other women as worthy of more than just sex. Predictably, that killed the conversation.
She didn't unmatch, though. Given her silence, I then proceeded to wish her luck in fiding what she was looking for, and I stated that I had no interest in partaking in anything "casual", be with her or any with other girl from that environment. Then I unmatched.
I find things like these absolutely fascinating. I'm only 27 years old, yet sometimes it seems like I have no choice but to be reminded of how certain social customs have changed in just 20 years or so. When I was a teenager, I heard my colleagues (from both sexes) saying "****, I wish I had a girlfriend/boyfriend" all the time. Actually, I was the one, maybe the only one then in the whole class who didn't think much of dating and relationships. I had other, more pressing concerns at the time, even going so far as to reject several advances by my female colleagues. Nowadays, it seems the situation is reversed. I feel as if I'm the only person who wants a relationship.
That's not to say, of course, that I haven't met any women that actually wanted a relationship. I have, but it never got to that point for other reasons, even if we both had that in mind. Still, it seems their numbers decrease by the day.
Any thoughts are appreciated, even if you want to agree with this girl and say I'm weird. I don't think I am, but don't they say that madmen have no idea of their own madness? That's what Brás Cubas tells the reader in his "Memórias Póstumas de Brás Cubas" when confronted with the possibility that he may be mad. He believes that he is not, but who knows, really?
I don't think she understood that I meant to say that, so to speak, I'd be evaluating the women I match with in order to assess the feasibility (or lack thereof) of a relationship, but that's beside the point. I then made a couple of rhetorical questions with the intent of showing just how absurd her thinking seemed to me. First I asked, "so every man who approaches you has casual intentions?". She said "yes". Then I asked "have any of such casual encounters ever developed into an actual relationship?". She said that one of them did, and that that's how she got her ex-girlfriend. I answered that that doesn't count, that I was talking specifically about men. The lack of an answer to that seemed to imply that such a thing never happened, as far as men are concerned. You could tell she was getting slightly annoyed. She asked "and why do women not count, exactly?". I answered that I was trying to make a point about male psychology. She said "then do it". Then I told her one of men's (not so secretive) secrets: that men oftentimes view certain women as worthy of no more than sex, and other women as worthy of more than just sex. Predictably, that killed the conversation.
She didn't unmatch, though. Given her silence, I then proceeded to wish her luck in fiding what she was looking for, and I stated that I had no interest in partaking in anything "casual", be with her or any with other girl from that environment. Then I unmatched.
I find things like these absolutely fascinating. I'm only 27 years old, yet sometimes it seems like I have no choice but to be reminded of how certain social customs have changed in just 20 years or so. When I was a teenager, I heard my colleagues (from both sexes) saying "****, I wish I had a girlfriend/boyfriend" all the time. Actually, I was the one, maybe the only one then in the whole class who didn't think much of dating and relationships. I had other, more pressing concerns at the time, even going so far as to reject several advances by my female colleagues. Nowadays, it seems the situation is reversed. I feel as if I'm the only person who wants a relationship.
That's not to say, of course, that I haven't met any women that actually wanted a relationship. I have, but it never got to that point for other reasons, even if we both had that in mind. Still, it seems their numbers decrease by the day.
Any thoughts are appreciated, even if you want to agree with this girl and say I'm weird. I don't think I am, but don't they say that madmen have no idea of their own madness? That's what Brás Cubas tells the reader in his "Memórias Póstumas de Brás Cubas" when confronted with the possibility that he may be mad. He believes that he is not, but who knows, really?
