That feeling of being 'unimportant'

[MsMac]

nothing worse than feeling unimportant.

I am unimportant to everyone in my life, and its very lonely

If I disappeared tomorrow, it would only be a mild inconvenience for my daughter (she is very independent for her age), whom I am sure would soon get over it, and move on with her life.

 

[Tealeaf]

I doubt even the most independent of children wouldn't miss their parents. Children have those years where they're starting to come into their own and want to do everything without ma and pa, but I think they always turn around later and remember how much they love them for the work they've done. The food, the clothes, the home, and the love.

 

[MsMac]

Oh I am sure she would miss me, to a degree.
Don't get me wrong, I am NOT planning on disappearing, my family means more to me than that.

I just need something I am not getting from anyone in my life right now.

Even a friend would be great, someone to talk to, someone to go out with, with no strings attached, but I am one of the friendless.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I think many of us (here) have had that feeling at some point in our life, or even many times. Someday someone will come along an make you feel important again, or at least lessen the feeling. That person won't fall into your lap though, it takes getting out and finding where that person is. Even if your daughter is independent, you are still important to her.

 

[MsMac]

and she is very important to me, both my grown children are

 

[OhGodImLonely]

I think many of us (here) have had that feeling at some point in our life, or even many times. Someday someone will come along an make you feel important again, or at least lessen the feeling. That person won't fall into your lap though, it takes getting out and finding where that person is. Even if your daughter is independent, you are still important to her.

It's very unpleasant to live on the hope that someday someone will appear out of thin air and make you feel needed and important. Isn't that what loneliness is all about ? the craving for people's attention ?

 

[Tiina63]

I feel pretty much all the time that I don't really matter to anyone and keep hoping that one day I will find someone for a relationship.
I am sure though that in your case, MsMac, your daughter would miss you very deeply.

 

[alone]

Regardless of how you feel, I'm sure your daughter loves and will miss you if something happened to you. Teenagers or even young adults are brilliant at making parents feel that they are no longer needed, but that's just them and most of the time it's unintentional. Sometimes they are just too caught up with their lives (who isn't?). So you're not unimportant. Not to your daughter at least.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Yeah I feel like that. Especially around my family. They seem to act as if they care about me but the bottom line is they just don't understand me. So to them keeping distance is the best solution. Anytime it's overwhelming though I kinda vanish for a few days.

 

[soresoul]

Yeah I feel that way alot too. But some of us here feel your are important. Just give it a chance. Even if some don't care.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Yeah I feel that way alot too. But some of us here feel your are important. Just give it a chance. Even if some don't care.

Thanks. That means a lot.

 

[soresoul]

Its np. I been hurt recently so im just doing my best to move and try to pick up a new friend or help someone.

 

[monkeysocks]

When the kids have grown and flown it does make you feel a bit redundant. Then there is the void that needs filling of all the time and routine. So know how you feel MsMac. I almost felt a bit used when I went from Mum to invisible.

Its not about being unimportant, they just are exploring the world with people their own age and do make time for you again once they have done so.


This is your time again, as it was before you had kids and the opportunity to make yourself a priority again.

 

[LonelyAtNight]

Hi MsMac

I'm in my fifties now, and find that things are in cycles, that impermanence (budhist thing) is the truth of life, we may have experiences that last an hour, a day, a month, a year, a decade or two then they will end, in a way they complete, but at the same time there is also ongoing birth of experience and transformation, things end and/or change.

With your daughter things are/have changed.....

Certainly there can be sadness and emptiness at these times of ending or transition...perhaps some grieving...good to have our feelings...nice when we have at least some places to share them....

This seems like a good place, for one to share some experiences/feelings

blessings to you

JH

 

[MsMac]

Yeah I feel that way alot too. But some of us here feel your are important. Just give it a chance. Even if some don't care.

---

Thanks LonelyAtNight and all for ALL your kind words.
I can see I can make a home in this forum, and look forward to being here for a long time to come

 

[LonelyAtNight]

MsMac....
Ya just even a little contact/interaction can feel really very nice....

cheers...JH

 

[edamame721]

Just wanted to pop in and say I've also had the feeling of being unimportant, even though I don't have a child. *hugs to all*

 

[MsMac]

as my opening post says, I feel unimportant to everyone in my life, not just my children, although everyone here seems to have focused on my feeling unimportant to my daughter

 

[monkeysocks]

as my opening post says, I feel unimportant to everyone in my life, not just my children, although everyone here seems to have focused on my feeling unimportant to my daughter

ok children dealt with Do you mean family ?, friends ? work colleagues ?

 

[JasonM]

nothing worse than feeling unimportant.

I am unimportant to everyone in my life, and its very lonely

Why do you (as many others do) define the value of your existence on what other people think of you?