The Game of the Mind.

[lonelyloser]

This girl comes across as a party girl/socially outgoing girl, they're just a lot of fun to be around, in fact all they are is fun. You can have a blast with these girls, they can put you on a high, make you smile etc. However the downside to these girls is that they have very little or no commitment, and not the best of memory and don't like relationships much. Which is a bummer for some guys, especially ones who are looking for a deep connection with a chick.

Now in terms of you, I think you are smitten to this girl, obviously, but listen, I think she loves it, she loves pouring out her problems to you, talking about other guys and ****, and having you giving her advice and stuff, having nice guys like you evolve around her makes her feel better, our validate her beauty if you like. This girl will drive you insane if you carry on like this.

With girls who you want a relationship/***/flirt with, don't give them advice, reason being, it turns you into their best friend, and once you are their best friend, you are no longer seen as bf material. And lastly don't ever tell a girl your feelings, they key is to show her how you feel.

This girl...i think this girl is grooming you to be her future husband after she's had fun with lots of other guys.


hope everything works out for you and find a quality girl.

for sure. If she's a party girl you want to have *** with her as soon as possible. Otherwise she'll just ride you along and make you whipped. I don't even know that she's even grooming you to be her husband. Once you've affirmed her belief that she can use you to make herself feel better, she'll respect you less. These girls respect guys who don't treat them very well (if they aren't dating the guy seriously). This is because it shows that the guy has an ego and he can't be walked all over.

 

[Presence]

^^

Well they saying goes, egos are attracted to bigger egos.

Ego's exist from fear, so I disagree with the end bit.

 

[TheUnknown]

Eh well I do agree - I have been friended and now it's just hard for me to break out of that. I really wish she would just notice who it is that's trying to hold her up. Is it really a crime that I don't want to treat her like crap? My ego is not that large and I don't have the heart for it. I'll try the jealousy thing but I really doubt she cares at this point. I'm always in emotional turmoil but I guess I've adapted it as a personality trait at this point because it's very rare that i'm happy much anymore. The future is the only thing that keeps me going. Plus I highly doubt she would ever feel the way about me that she did for our friend.

 

[Cosmic Kid]

I was just wondering...and you are the only person who really knows this..

Is it possible, in your current situation, tell her how much it seems to mean to her that you've be "out of the loop" alittle bit lately. Tell her what it means to you. You can do that honestly, directly, w/out playing games.

Then, as lonely suggested, try and find out, in your own way, as the converstaion allows what it is that she's been so worried about. Not that that's the best way to ask it, you'll know when you get "into" it, how the best way to handle this is. but, let her know it's safe, as it soundl like you have already been doing a VERY fine job of.........she obviously likes you for some reason. Find out alittle bit more about what that reason is, w/out playing your who hand? and w/out her know that you even "have a hand to play"? does that make sense?

 

[TheUnknown]

Um I kind of get the general idea of what your saying - i'm a little thrown off. Could you please rephrase it a little?

 

[Cosmic Kid]

I"m not saying to play games, and I'm not saying you need to be insincere about who you are, or even what you may be feeling, but there is such a thing as being honest, sincere, and direct w/out showing all of one's cards...

It's kind of like any other risks. I'm advocated taking (what's called in some business circles) and educated risk. That's different from trying to hit a "home run".. In investing, there "base hitters" and then there are "home run sluggers". Both types of stratagies work, but one does need to know what one's "investing style" if you will, is, in order to find his "comfort zone" Neither is right all the time, and neither is wrong. Just different styles for diffeerent people. Neither is "dishonest" or "insencere"...if you catch my drift? Only you know...

 

[TheUnknown]

Ah ok - I get what your saying now. Yea I really need to work on that - i'll think of how to go about it.

 

[Cosmic Kid]

Um I kind of get the general idea of what your saying - i'm a little thrown off. Could you please rephrase it a little?

what I'm saying is, keep being who youve always been to her, but, steer the "converstation" if you will, more toward her personally, as it regards to how come she's interested in you. Does that make sense? Can this be done w/out "tipping" your hand? It's a natural thing...she's been talking to you about inner most thoughts and feelings she has...what's the difference in that, only now the cause of her feelings, if you will, that you want to her to tell you more about is something different. But, DON"T CHANGE being who you are, or what you've been doing...keep that going. Only Now? Your' going to get even MORE HONEST, not less....

 

[TheUnknown]

Ah oh yes it can, I can work that. Thanks alot man - that's extremely useful.

PS: Other people, i'm still open for suggestions. Keep posting!

 

[TheUnknown]

How in the world do you maintain sanity while trying not to look desperate? It's killing me right now - the only thoughts going through my head are how much i need her. How many more days of this have to pass before I return to normal?!?!?!?!

 

[Presence]

Eh well I do agree - I have been friended and now it's just hard for me to break out of that. I really wish she would just notice who it is that's trying to hold her up. Is it really a crime that I don't want to treat her like crap? My ego is not that large and I don't have the heart for it. I'll try the jealousy thing but I really doubt she cares at this point. I'm always in emotional turmoil but I guess I've adapted it as a personality trait at this point because it's very rare that i'm happy much anymore. The future is the only thing that keeps me going. Plus I highly doubt she would ever feel the way about me that she did for our friend.

You don't need to try the jealousy thing, if you think to yourself, "**** it I've had enough, I can no longer take this **** anymore, I will no longer give my power away, forget her and her stupid games, this girl has done more then just reject me, she's strung me along all her ******** like a puppy" then you wont want to be around this girl, you will want to approach other women, whether she notices it or not is none of your business. The future and the past hold promises of happyness or w/e, but thats wrong, it's this very moment that does. what problem do you have at this very moment? not ten seconds from now but right now?

 

[TheUnknown]

Ah well apparently my psychological convos form an attraction that can't be broken... I thought I was making progress with that answer till she mentioned how great things are going with her and her bf - especially now that their *** lives have gotten more emotional. Slightly sick and going to bed now. =(

Ah her and her commitment issues - Newbirth was right, how long would this last anyway. Maybe it's a pipe dream I should drop and hope for more females to enter my life next year.

 

[jales]

lol. as much as we hate the "game" and wonder why people play these games we still have to play the game. In this century, the girl would fall for the guy like this:

boy: (smacks girl in the face)
girl: I love you! Please don't leave me!

That made my day thanks. I haven't laughed that hard in a while lol

lol my brother has a theory that girls like to get beat by men cause it makes them feel that he loves them soo much that he would reach to point of anger with them.. to beat them

twas funny.. what mimizu said as well.

not sure what to say to the original poster but i do hate relationship games as well. They seem to only come up at the beginning of a relationship..n since i'm single that's all the time 4 me.

It's really annoying though.. if you like a person and wish to call them 30 times a day, then do so.. if they find it annoying they will show it..then leave them alone cause you want someone who you can call 30 times a day...

Guess that's not how it is in the real world though. But i wish people were less guarded in a way.. that we didn't fake stuff in the beginning. that we could be honest.. say that we are scared e.t.c.

 

[TheUnknown]

Oh well what do you know - the final nail in the coffin. Let's just say, if all things go accordingly, she will have found a way to remove herself from my life all together. I knew I shoulda thought before i posted anything on my myspace. I'm gunna go beat myself up over this. I'm done - it's over. The Game of The Mind has ended, and so has TheUnknown.

 

[Almond]

I hope that you're not thinking of doing anything rash.