the secret is concealed in SEVEN (my last post) goodbye all

[sallekhana]

Some nobody came to me
Under this baren tree
In the dark of the night.
Come and lets say goodbye.

In this state i must say
Dust to dust, i'm done.
Enter into the sun.

 

[SophiaGrace]

You're leaving us Gauloises? O___o

I liked your poetry

 

[EveWasFramed]

I hate to see you go. You were such a positive addition to this forum.
If you are sure you won't reconsider, then I wish you well in all that you do.

 

[Jesse]

Hey man, I wish you would stay.

 

[SophiaGrace]

wait whoa... O_O

whoa whoa whoa.

dont hurt yourself!! =l

 

[Jesse]

gauloises,

There's a nightmare flowing through my veins
Consuming my soul like a burning flame.
Infinite night and Im afraid of the dark
There's no light, no moon, and no stars.

Awakened, I scream- nothing has changed.
The cold dark extends its loving embrace.
Terror has grasped me and I cannot move.
Is this what I have let myself get to?

Fight. Fight it. I must fight this fright.
I pierce the endless void with all my might.
Searching for the light, I gather strength.
I look for courage and I find faith.

I can do this. I can beat this thing.
Salvation lies within my inner being.
I reach for it for I must find peace.
Though pain still stings, I bare my teeth.

Wading through the dimness I begin to find,
The way to peace and freedom of the mind.
The nightmare is thinning, crumbling away.
The light breaks through and I make my way.

Joy will fill those who will believe.
Just please sit down my friend and breathe.
The dark cant hold you, it never could.
It held me down, but then I stood.


My life is now my own and I am free.
Believe my friend and you will see.


I've been to the very brink...to the point where I didn't want to live anymore, but I made my way out of the darkness my friend. You can too, please trust me. I attempted suicide once. I failed. I'm very very thankful that I failed. I've lived to see myself in a better place.

There were times that I nearly couldn't take it anymore and I came very close to attempting suicide again. I got two tattoos.

The first one says, Christian. The second one says, Matthew. These are the names of my two little brothers. I got them as a permanent reminder that there are people who care about me. I love them so much I could never do anything to myself because of them. I had to live. These tattoos have kept me alive several times. I got them in japanese lettering and in a place where I could hide them because the meaning is personal to me.

We care about you here man. I'm sure you have people at home who care about you too. When you come out of the darkness you'll be a new man! Believe my friend and you will see.

 

[Brian]

The world is not here to coddle us Cody.

There are people with a hundred more problems than you have and nobody but themselves to fall back on. And some of those people have other people falling back on them. You don't see them lamenting the world and writing a poem before hucking themselves off a bridge, do you? No. They pick themselves back up again.

I'm losing my job, 60% of my family is dysfunctional and overly dramatic often to the point of suicide threats and abuse, and one of the last 40% I worry about all the time because she has so much ahead of her and she's one of the most important things in the world to me. I have college to worry about and a stock portfolio muddled in red ink with recovery several years out. I watch society all around me get duped every day by lying politicians both local and federal, from two sides of the same political coin. This drives me to rage.

I live alone, and I can't seem to connect with women on any level to save my life. I've cried myself to sleep more times than I can count; from loneliness, from anxiety, from want of a damn hug. I've spent entire weeks coming out of my room only to eat and heave myself on to the sofa; I do not medicate when I'm depressed. I spent two years working with ******* ******** in the woods, getting stung by bees, soaked by rain and mud for 8 hours at a shot, worn out by the hot sun with no shade in sight, or freezing my ass off in the snow. All with nothing to hear through my earplugs except the constant drone of chainsaws, weedeaters, and a diesel-powered chipper.

Have I come out and sang a swan song yet?


We have to pull ourselves up. We have to take responsibility for ourselves before anyone else can help us; we have to take charge, Cody. Once we do, once we take charge and go after making something for ourselves, we find out that there is more to life than poems and romance (or lack thereof), and it puts things in perspective for us. These things make us stronger. It's still hard going, but it's more manageable. Tomorrow is always there; but it's not a free handout, and we don't get anything out of it if all we do is whine.