The Simple Cure for Loneliness (Video)

[Mercury]

Didn't know there was one. lol


[youtube]KSXh1YfNyVA[/youtube]

 

[Finished]

Naaaaaaaggggghhhhhhhhhh.

 

[user 181674]

Her idea of ritual is a good one, but in her example, her ritual is to gather with her friends on Monday. Well, what if you don't have any friends to do something like that with? Like, my daily ritual is to get up in the morning and make my coffee. But, alas I'm drinking it by myself. So, I wouldn't say that's an "easy" cure for loneliness, lol.

 

[crony]

Yeah. I was thinking the same. Chances are you're watching the video because you don't have friends to gather with. lol

 

[mgill]

the copes suggested in this video only apply to those of a certain looks level whom are experiencing a shallow, temporary level of feeling alone. physically attractive people could never relate to the deep loneliness and existential angst of our existence. being a short, ugly male makes a lifetime of failure, misery & loneliness an almost certain guarantee.

 

[TheRealCallie]

the copes suggested in this video only apply to those of a certain looks level whom are experiencing a shallow, temporary level of feeling alone. physically attractive people could never relate to the deep loneliness and existential angst of our existence. being a short, ugly male makes a lifetime of failure, misery & loneliness an almost certain guarantee.

You REALLY need to get a new line because it's starting to get rather old.  Just like you claim that NO ONE that's even remotely attractive could ever understand how YOU feel, you couldn't even begin to know how they feel.

Seriously, enough with the ******** excuses and making it a damn competition.

 

[Finished]

^ Good Idea! Just keep bashing ALL users. Maybe all of them will go away and you can be happy all by yourself.

 

[Lacrecia]

^ Good Idea! Just keep bashing ALL users. Maybe all of them will go away and you can be happy all by yourself.

She's one of the few people for whom I stay around. So she won't be left all by herself.

 

[Alyosha]

^ Good Idea! Just keep bashing ALL users. Maybe all of them will go away and you can be happy all by yourself.

She's one of the few people for whom I stay around. So she won't be left all by herself.

I'll stay too.  She's been cool to me, and she's usually right when she bashes me!  

 

[user 115627]

Something about this whole presentation is so off-putting that I'm not sure I can make it all the way to the end...turns out I did though.

It just seems to miss the mark. In line with what others have said before: If you have friends, chances are you already have rituals or routines that you regularly engage in. Now there are actually a number of reasons why you might be lacking friends or at the very least friends that are locally available. Introversion, shyness or a history of mistreatment by your peers might make a person a lot more hesitant to establish close relationships with others. Many people move around a lot these days and struggle to establish themselves in new areas and new communities. Others are quite busy, trying to get by with two or more jobs to make ends meet.

I get the whole thing about not gatekeeping loneliness, but personally I think it drives me nuts because the entire presentation just seems to radiate with what I would call...upper-middle-class detachment? With a hint of being too full of yourself? I have no other way of putting it. We can talk **** about the YouTube comment section but I think there are lot of people that echo that sentiment there and they have a point.

To pick up her metaphor: "I'd really love to plant an anchor of connection but I'm lost at sea with neither ship nor boat and all I got is this piece of driftwood to keep me company..."

 

[mgill]

the copes suggested in this video only apply to those of a certain looks level whom are experiencing a shallow, temporary level of feeling alone. physically attractive people could never relate to the deep loneliness and existential angst of our existence. being a short, ugly male makes a lifetime of failure, misery & loneliness an almost certain guarantee.

You REALLY need to get a new line because it's starting to get rather old.  Just like you claim that NO ONE that's even remotely attractive could ever understand how YOU feel, you couldn't even begin to know how they feel.

Seriously, enough with the ******** excuses and making it a damn competition.

no one is forcing you to read or comment on my posts. i find posts based on the Just World fallacy which you so often promote to be rather old & repetitive also-not to mention in no way corresponding to reality. 

attractive people have options which unattractive people will never have and most also have had postive reinforcement their whole life due to their looks.  they only start to get it if they somehow lose their looks and then everything becomes crystal clear at how critical they were to their success.

life is a competition so there wil be winners and losers. the problem is that most of this is determined at birth by random chance rather than being attainable by anyone if they only have the right mindset or put in enough work.  there are those who do everything right yet still have total failure due entirely to our inferior genetics.

 

[TheRealCallie]

You know, it occurs to me, while I sit here watching My 600 Pound Life, that nearly every person on this show has a significant other. Many of them are not attractive and wouldn't be even if they didn't weight 600 pounds. As a matter of fact all these shows about people who are severely overweight, most of the people have significant others.
So no, I'm sorry, but your conclusions about dating with "inferior genetics" aren't accurate.

 

[user 115627]

You know, it occurs to me, while I sit here watching My 600 Pound Life, that nearly every person on this show has a significant other.  Many of them are not attractive and wouldn't be even if they didn't weight 600 pounds.  As a matter of fact all these shows about people who are severely overweight, most of the people have significant others. 
So no, I'm sorry, but your conclusions about dating with "inferior genetics" aren't accurate.

I mean...we'd have to assume that morbid obesity is mostly a marker of inferior genetics and not the consequence of a dysfunction and I think in most cases it's not primarily genetic, general predisposition for addiction aside. Furthermore there is such a thing as fat fetishism or feederism. Combine that with some serious codependency and you create a relationship that nobody should, let alone wants to be in.

 

[TheRealCallie]

You know, it occurs to me, while I sit here watching My 600 Pound Life, that nearly every person on this show has a significant other.  Many of them are not attractive and wouldn't be even if they didn't weight 600 pounds.  As a matter of fact all these shows about people who are severely overweight, most of the people have significant others. 
So no, I'm sorry, but your conclusions about dating with "inferior genetics" aren't accurate.

I mean...we'd have to assume that morbid obesity is mostly a marker of inferior genetics and not the consequence of a dysfunction and I think in most cases it's not primarily genetic, general predisposition for addiction aside. Furthermore there is such a thing as fat fetishism or feederism. Combine that with some serious codependency and you create a relationship that nobody should, let alone wants to be in.

The inferior genetics would be that many of them are unattractive aside from the obesity.
I didn't say that they were good relationships, but they are, nonetheless, relationships that they acquired.  Meaning, it is possible.

 

[user 115627]

The inferior genetics would be that many of them are unattractive aside from the obesity.
I didn't say that they were good relationships, but they are, nonetheless, relationships that they acquired.  Meaning, it is possible.

If it's a relationship that is fetishistic in nature, the weight is actually what makes them more attractive to the other party...even if it makes it even worse to an impartial observer. But I don't know really. When I look at these couplings, I see something more akin to mutually agreed upon abuse.

 

[TheRealCallie]

The inferior genetics would be that many of them are unattractive aside from the obesity.
I didn't say that they were good relationships, but they are, nonetheless, relationships that they acquired.  Meaning, it is possible.

If it's a relationship that is fetishistic in nature, the weight is actually what makes them more attractive to the other party...even if it makes it even worse to an impartial observer. But I don't know really. When I look at these couplings, I see something more akin to mutually agreed upon abuse.

If there is a fetish for obese people, I am sure there are fetishes for bald and short men.

 

[user 115627]

If there is a fetish for obese people, I am sure there are fetishes for bald and short men.

No doubt, but whether that is the correct solution to the plight of a short and/or bald man is different question. How that fetish manifests itself matters, just as it does in the questionable case of feederism. I think the worst I heard once was that a feeder got sexual pleasure from the idea that the other person would die of a heart attack from overeating. So if someone's bald-short fetish just manifests in the desire to humiliate the person, then it's a zero-sum game obviously.

 

[mgill]

You know, it occurs to me, while I sit here watching My 600 Pound Life, that nearly every person on this show has a significant other.  Many of them are not attractive and wouldn't be even if they didn't weight 600 pounds.  As a matter of fact all these shows about people who are severely overweight, most of the people have significant others. 
So no, I'm sorry, but your conclusions about dating with "inferior genetics" aren't accurate.

does that sound like in any way a healthy relationship? people do not become morbidly obese due to their genetics. both the obese person and the one's who fetishize them have major mental issues.

---

The inferior genetics would be that many of them are unattractive aside from the obesity.
I didn't say that they were good relationships, but they are, nonetheless, relationships that they acquired.  Meaning, it is possible.

If it's a relationship that is fetishistic in nature, the weight is actually what makes them more attractive to the other party...even if it makes it even worse to an impartial observer. But I don't know really. When I look at these couplings, I see something more akin to mutually agreed upon abuse.

If there is a fetish for obese people, I am sure there are fetishes for bald and short men.

you would be incorrect-at least there are none that i have ever heard of or can find.  if there were, there would be far fewer short, bald, single lonely men like myself.

---

If there is a fetish for obese people, I am sure there are fetishes for bald and short men.

No doubt, but whether that is the correct solution to the plight of a short and/or bald man is different question. How that fetish manifests itself matters, just as it does in the questionable case of feederism. I think the worst I heard once was that a feeder got sexual pleasure from the idea that the other person would die of a heart attack from overeating. So if someone's bald-short fetish just manifests in the desire to humiliate the person, then it's a zero-sum game obviously.

exactly. men like myself are humilated enough by our constant failure & rejection.  it is only our inferior genetics preventing us from experiencing a healthy relationship based on mutual attraction & respect that is the cause of our depression & loneliness.  suggesting that it is possible to get into an abusive relationship as a valid solution is obtuse.

 

[Running Alone]

I just didn't connect with that video, something about it (as mentioned earlier) simply didn't jive with me personally, I mean I respect what she's doing and her efforts to be helpful but heh, you can still have a great circle of close friends and family, get together weekly as suggested and still feel like you're alone while in their presence...in fact, those gatherings can often make things worse because it's a reminder of how off you are compared to others. Sure, some of your group may be in the same boat as you, but often lots of our friends and fam are living charmed lives, happily married, dating, single by choice but enjoying an enriched life, etc, then when you leave the company/gathering or "ritual" alone (as usual in my case) you're painfully brought back to reality and that much more lonely. Nope, I feel strongly on this, there is no quick or simple cure for loneliness no matter what some motivational speaker might want you to believe or try.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I just didn't connect with that video, something about it (as mentioned earlier) simply didn't jive with me personally, I mean I respect what she's doing and her efforts to be helpful but heh, you can still have a great circle of close friends and family, get together weekly as suggested and still feel like you're alone while in their presence...in fact, those gatherings can often make things worse because it's a reminder of how off you are compared to others. Sure, some of your group may be in the same boat as you, but often lots of our friends and fam are living charmed lives, happily married, dating, single by choice but enjoying an enriched life, etc, then when you leave the company/gathering or "ritual" alone (as usual in my case) you're painfully brought back to reality and that much more lonely. Nope, I feel strongly on this, there is no quick or simple cure for loneliness no matter what some motivational speaker might want you to believe or try.

Of course there's not a QUICK fix, but it is simple.  People often confuse simple with easy.  Easy it is not. 

I would also like to mention that you can't know how those people are when they aren't around other people.  They could be just as lonely as you are and just better at hiding it.  Some people are quite charismatic in front of other people, but depressed and lonely when they aren't.  Don't be so quick to assume that just because someone doesn't look lonely, they aren't.

But why do you think you aren't connecting with people?