The Smile Police

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dd11

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Have you ever been somewhere deep in thought and minding your own business and some random person tells you that " you need to smile"? I mean I could be standing there deciding whether to buy carrots or celery and get that comment. What gives someone the right to order your facial expression to suit them? Maybe I am overreacting but I just find it rude.
 
Ugh, yes. It's really irritating. "Gee, could you please rearrange yourself so that it makes my day brighter? I mean, that's what all y'all are there for, right?"

I haven't gotten that in a long time, though. Maybe my face is beyond hope? :D
 
Well why does some random stranger think they have a right to comment on my mood or face?
 
delledonne11 said:
Well why does some random stranger think they have a right to comment on my mood or face?

Because that's what they feel like doing. That's how it is. You can't explain it so there is no reason to analyze it.
 
I've gotten this all my life, and I've generally found that people are either sincerely trying to be helpful or they're trying to tell you how to feel.
 
Ugh I absolutely hate it when people tell me to "smile!"... Uh no. Maybe I'm not smiling because:

01. I don't want that guy who can't take a hint to possibly think I'm flirting so I'm staying neutral/cold
02. You told me to "smile!"
03. I have face ache from gurning all weekend
04. I have face ache from smiling a lot
05. I am daydreaming and/or lost in thought
 
Well what are we supposed to do? Go about grinning nonstop? Why is my way of being in the world a problem? I do smile. Not that it is their business. But when I am thinking I tend to look more somber. Oh well!

I mean this just happens here and there . And I used to just smile but why do I have too? One time I was standing in line at the grocery store and some older man made some comment to me and a couple other ladies in line. I don't know if th r y smiled but I decided to ignore him and look off in space. Then he made another comment. Ijust find it very presumptuous.
 
Ha, I used to get this a lot. "Smile it might never happen!", "God you look miserable what's happened." (I once responded that my family had just been all killed in an aircrash(they hadn't) and the look was priceless.)

But then even if I'm smiling, which I do a lot, if I happen to be feeling a bit cheerful, which I can quite a lot, then people kind of glare at me as if to say what are you grinning at, so you can't win really!

I used to walk away, but nowadays I kind of see it as a chance to strike up a conversation - although clumsy and a bit annoying, maybe it's a chance to just have a bit of a connection with a random person, who is probably feeling lonely somewhere inside but just doesn't really know how to connect, so they make an inane comment, but maybe there's some attempt to connect there, or that's how i try to see it these days!

I mean imagine that it's a lonely person, who has social anxiety or awkwardness, and they are just trying to break the ice, or talk to a stranger... so they say something a bit daft. It doesn't mean they are criticising you, it might be a big deal for them trying to talk to someone. I tend to find most interactions between strangers tend to be a bit inept or based on a humourous remark, but often comes from a need to connect.
 
That's a good point too. Maybe they view it as an ice breaker or something.
 
Sometimes you get tired of being told that your way of being in the world is wrong.
 
Why does it matter what a stranger suggests? I mean, does one sentence really bother your life that much? It can be annoying, yes, but what does it hurt?
It could be one of those things where they are trying to get you to cheer up because you look sad or angry or something or they could just be trying to spread some cheerfulness.

Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. It might get annoying, but it doesn't hurt anyone and it's just a simple suggestion. It's not saying your way of being is wrong at all, but there's also nothing wrong with seeing the world through someone's suggestion or action (like a smile or helping someone else).
 
I admit it, I'm a repeat offender too. Lock me up tight and sentence me to eight hours of daily smiling - enforced by big fella wearing a yellow executioner's hood with a painted-on smilie face.
 
I haven't been told to smile, but I have, several times, been asked by colleagues if I'm "alright" when I pause to think.

Which I find really irritating. When I'm trying to multi-task about 5 things at once in the middle of a working day, I don't understand why it's so unusual to just require 15 seconds of internal processing time to work out what I'm doing when :club:
 
I used to get this. I didn't see it as anything hostile though. The last time someone did it often, it was a girl that I liked, and it was blatantly obvious to her, but she didn't like me back. At least she was trying to be nice and raise my spirits about the ****** lot I was in.

Sometimes I got this when I tried to work too, but a lot less.

Now I'm not around people often enough. I never really did figure out how to smile. It looks weird when I do, so I try to avoid it.
 
Broken_Doll said:
Ugh I absolutely hate it when people tell me to "smile!"... Uh no. Maybe I'm not smiling because:


02. You told me to "smile!"

Number one reason for me. I have been told this many times, and I usually say something sarcastic or rude. Don't even care if feelings are hurt, because someone shouldn't be coming up to someone, especially if they don't know them, and saying that. But that's my number one reason. I'll rebel. Rage against the machine!
 
Yes some stranger ordering a person to smile is just very presumptuous.
 
i think it is more about policing the emotional atmosphere than about caring if someone feels depressed or down. If someone really cared they would either listen to the person or tell them jokes to make them feel better.
 

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