The Stupidest Girl in the World

[NiecyMouse]

So, I met a guy who I really liked about eight months ago. I wasn't attracted to his looks. I was attracted to how he was so nice to everyone. We talked and eventually, he told me that he felt like he might be able to have a relationship with me and I was the closest woman to make him feel that after his wife cheated on him in 2010. We continued to talk and began to get along. He never took me out or anything. We live close to each other and I would make him dinner. He said he appreciated it and he had given me a little of his heart. He also kissed me. He said he wanted to be found. I took that to mean he needed to feel sought after and loved. SO I was always looking out for him. I bought him things and even wrote a poem for him. I thought it was weird how he always sat in his car and liked to be alone, but I assumed it was just his thing. Long story short, after seven months of doing so much for this guy, he finally admitted after my asking, that he didn't have any romantic feelings for me. He kept telling me all along we were more than friends and he was scared and needed time. The last time we were together at my house on christmas eve, I bought him a lot of nice presents. He got me a 25 dollar card to a coffee house dated that same day. I felt so humiliated. I felt so stupid and mostly, I just felt like giving up. I tried so hard to be understanding and patient. In the end, it was all ********.

 

[user 150037]

NeicyMouse, why are you bashing yourself for giving your heart to someone? If either of you were 'stupid', it was him - for not realizing that he had this amazing girl showing him love and appreciation, and he just treated it like it was nothing. If he told you that you were more than friends, then he mislead you. He should have made it clear to you from the start that he wasn't interested in pursuing romance by just sticking to statements implying platonic friendship. If a guy kisses a girl, then that implies more than friendship - by kissing you, he caused you to be misled. This makes him an *****. So he's the problem - not you.

Keep being the person you are, and you'll catch the attention of somebody who can see a good thing when they have it.

 

[male45]

Dear Mouse dont b worry over it. no fault on ur part... u r innocent and kind hearted. be greatful to the Guy who cheated u bcos he made u experienced about living life. U remain positive and optimistic.....dont waste ur glowing energy into dark one....All the best

 

[male45]

I at time feel lonliness and feel like to have good gossip with nice friends who can speak their heart about life... life challenges, life incidents....i have read many books of true biographies and get so pleased who have written the true happenings of life. Some time i combine lonliness with silencenes in a total peaceful environment in mountainous area. it bcomes so exciting, soothing and enlightened which cant be explained in words. Must experience listening flute at a far distance in mountains in moonlight u ll never forget it. I normally get time to listen flute in my village area where shephetds do play....LOVE U ALL

 

[X-1 Alpha]

That's heartbreaking. Very few things are more triggering to me than seeing a good person being hurt like that.

I agree with what hewhowalksalone has said. You seem like a really kind, gentle and innocent person and unfortunately villains seek to take advantage of people like you. He was happy to accept your gifts, time, attention and affection while only offering lies in return. That "gift" seemed more like a slap to the face as well. A final insult.
I don't even really know what to say, I don't know how to react to such deplorable behaviour. I can't even begin to imagine how you felt at the moment.

"The Stupidest Girl in the World"? No, not really. More like "the greatest girl".
You deserve better. Much better.

Keep being the person you are, and you'll catch the attention of somebody who can see a good thing when they have it.

Couldn't have said it better. I choose to believe that you *will* find someone who will properly appreciate the kind of person you are. I know for sure that many guys would be ecstatic at the prospect of meeting someone like you.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'm sorry you had to experience that NiceyMouse. :\

I don't think I have any good advice other than I do hope you can move past this and learn what you can from this situation. Sending positive thoughts your way.

 

[Phantimos]

It sounds like you saw the signs but you either ignored your gut instinct or were in denial.

I was in a similar situation with a girl, not even a year ago. I tried so hard for her, everyday i would wait on her hand on foot. I supported her emotionally, physically(her health), and academically(This happened at uni). Only to be thrown away like a used band-aid after she graduated. At first, i came up with excuses for her, too scared to admit that i was used. When it finally hit me, i broke. Spent two months completely depressed, all day and night in my room, take-out containers just lying everywhere.

After a while, i admitted that i was not okay mentally and sought help. That's actually how i came across this site in the first place. Now i have been diagnosed and am taking meds, I also attend a weekly therapy session. My health has also improved.

I am sharing my story to let you know it gets better, time will heal. I feel wiser and stronger for having gone through this.

How are you doing nowadays?. I would love to hear more of your story.



PS: I dunno if what i am assuming about you is correct. I apologize if it is not.

 

[Xpendable]

You got treated like a guy

 

[NiecyMouse]

NeicyMouse, why are you bashing yourself for giving your heart to someone?  If either of you were 'stupid', it was him - for not realizing that he had this amazing girl showing him love and appreciation, and he just treated it like it was nothing.  If he told you that you were more than friends, then he mislead you.  He should have made it clear to you from the start that he wasn't interested in pursuing romance by just sticking to statements implying platonic friendship.  If a guy kisses a girl, then that implies more than friendship - by kissing you, he caused you to be misled.  This makes him an *****.  So he's the problem - not you.

Keep being the person you are, and you'll catch the attention of somebody who can see a good thing when they have it.

---

Male 45, Thank you for your support. You are very kind. I appreciate it.

male45Dear Mouse dont b worry over it. no fault on ur part... u r innocent and kind hearted. be greatful to the Guy who cheated u bcos he made u experienced about living life. U remain positive and optimistic.....dont waste ur glowing energy into dark one....All the best

---

I am trying to reply to everyone, but it looks as if it's just one long post? Thank you all. I appreciate the support and kind words. It helps. It still stings as I have to look at him, but it's ok. I'm taking it day by day. Evenings are the hardest. I guess because I am alone and not busy. I am so glad to be here with you all and I feel people here are so much more authentic than the people I have been running into here lately. 
Thanks!

 

[user 150037]

This forum is here when you need it.

 

[Jessicat]

Sending some love your way.
Seems like you have a sweet and caring heart. 
Hold on to it cause it makes you beautiful.

 

[user 150037]

Jessicat, your words are always pure gold. You should consider a career in therapy.

 

[Jessicat]

Jessicat, your words are always pure gold.  You should consider a career in therapy.

*giggle*

Thanks! 
Aww.. Been high and low today. 
Thanks for making my day better.

 

[Siku]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. You hear about this sort thing all the time, unfortunately. It's always the good ones being stepped on. Sometimes it's just the other partner not reciprocating the same, doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about you. Some appreciate things more than others and it's just their ability to show it in return is, well, 'limited'. Just because someone isn't as thoughtful or as romantic doesn't mean they don't love you. There's also other factors with gifting; Biggest one is finances. Naturally. But that timestamp on the coffee card said it all, didn't it. :x (hugs)

But in this case, it most certainly sounded like he wanted to use you as an option and kept you shelved and carded as something he could just pick up and go as he pleased.

I guess it was a good thing he didn't string you a long further. If only it was before you spent all that money on him is all. Sadly, you live and you learn... Just don't let all the bad eggs spoil your need to look for the good ones, is what I say. You give off the vibe that you've got a strong head on your shoulders and know exactly what you deserve. You didn't need these words, just the reassurance and support. yeah? Just hang in there, will ya?

Just carelessly adding my name in the already great support you're receiving lol.

You got treated like a guy

Trust me, I personally know exactly where this stems from. So, don't think I know why you said that. This sort of experience is UNISEX and exists in ALL walks of relationships and freindships. That being said, please keep your bitterness to yourself. It's not helpful, and counterproductive. So why say it at all? Is all I'm getting at. Adjust your own expectations and don't let your bad experiences, or lack thereof, taint others please. Thanks.

 

[NiecyMouse]

Thank you all for being so reassuring. I appreciate you all!! Huge, mega hugs!!!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((*)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[Valkatox]

I don't have much more to add than others here have, but I can relate to how you feel Niecy.
I've not long had a situation where I was left feeling the same, only difference being it was by my partner at the time. Very short version being- long distance relationship, she moved in with another guy without even having the decency of telling me. Like you that left me feeling very stupid, humiliated, giving up, etc.

Hope you start feeling better about him soon and realise you didn't lose anything of worth.
He did.

 

[capriccio]

c'est la vie. Sometimes bad things happen. Never let it bogs you down for too long. Keep being yourself. I'm sure you will find someone who'll appreciate you.