The Worst Excuse For Cheating That I Ever Heard

[LoneKiller]

I once had a girlfriend who cheated on me. When I asked her why, she said that it was a mistake. Can you ******' believe this? An accident?! What did she do, slip and fall and land on his *****? Gimmie a break.

 

[Pheenix]

I think she meant that she regretted doing it.

 

[Limlim]

Look, that could totally happen! Just like it's not gay if you slip on a banana peel while you have an erection and you land on your buddy who happened to be doing naked pushups on the kitchen floor.


Stop judging mee!!!

 

[blackhole]

i'm reminded of this song...

relevant lyrics

[youtube]ncsMLGHFX3A[/youtube]

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Look, that could totally happen! Just like it's not gay if you slip on a banana peel while you have an erection and you land on your buddy who happened to be doing naked pushups on the kitchen floor.


Stop judging mee!!!

Don't joke about it Limlim. That sort of stuff seriously happens.

I was cleaning out my cupboard recently when a bunch of nylon cords some fool had left in there wrapped round my ankles.

Needless to say, it was early morning, so I hadn't got fully dressed - I'd only had a chance to pull on my woolen balaclava against the bitter draught coming from the adjacent window. Boy did I have some explaining to do when the fire brigade cut me loose.

*Ahem*. Silliness aside...

Yeah, that's lousy. I'm with Pheenix though, she probably meant it was morally regrettable rather than an actual accident. A ****** excuse anyway though, I'm sorry it happened

 

[Ak5]

An accident as in, she used him for sex and used you for emotional support?

An accident as in, she is deeply sorry that it happened and it won't happen again?

Or an accident as in "oops I just took off my clothes and got on top of him". Can happen to anybody right? (rhetorical question).

 

[nerdygirl]

Cheating on somebody by "accident" usually means, "Oh, gee. There I was, minding my business, not even talking to this girl. The next thing I knew, she was bending over the kitchen counter with her skirt above her waist. I'm still not sure how it happened, but I was behind her with my pants at my ankles, and my ***** was flooding her with semen. It could happen to anybody."

 

[Equinox]

I think "accidental cheating" normally involves some amount of alcoholic beverage. Good thing I rarely drink, so I won't have to worry about accidentally cheating on my imaginary boyfriend.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I think "accidental cheating" normally involves some amount of alcoholic beverage. Good thing I rarely drink, so I won't have to worry about accidentally cheating on my imaginary boyfriend.

Is this imaginary boyfriend cute?

 

[Limlim]

Mine is pretty good, except it gets awkward because he keeps wanting sex and im like "Dude im not gay! How did we even get into this relationship??" and he just gives me that look that tells me I'm gonna come around.... ******* *******.

 

[Pheenix]

Xat smileys through image posting? :O The forums are not ready for this! It will cause ripples in our reality!

 

[EveWasFramed]

An accident?! What did she do, slip and fall and land on his *****? Gimmie a break.

I laughed until I thought I'd choke.

 

[Equinox]

I think "accidental cheating" normally involves some amount of alcoholic beverage. Good thing I rarely drink, so I won't have to worry about accidentally cheating on my imaginary boyfriend.

Is this imaginary boyfriend cute?

Totally. He looks very much like Ryan Gosling with a slightly scruffy beard.

 

[Kevj]

The worst excuse for cheating indefinitely has to be thissaid to the spouse or partner cheated on) "Honey/Dear, the one whom I cheated on with is just for sex; the one I truly love is YOU." Ya right, if you even love the person as your spouse or partner to begin with, why then even have sex with another person?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Well......
She could have said....
GET OFF OF MY FUCKEN BACK. IM FUCKEN
TIRED FROM FUVKING ALL NIGHT LAST NIGHT.
STFU AND LET ME SLEEP....
MY *** IS ON PARK.
GO WALK THE DOG IF YOU WANT LOVE N COMPANY.
BTW....LOOK UNDER THE FUCKEN CAR , CUASE I HUAL ***
HOME. I MIGHT HAD RAN OVER A FUCKEN MIDGET OR A
CAT.....
ITS ALL YOUR FUALT *******..LOL

 

[Minus]

The Worst Excuse For Cheating That I Ever Heard

Is there a good one?

 

[TropicalStarfish]

"Slip and fall and land on his *****!" LOL, hilarious.

 

[Tiina63]

'My wife/husband doesn't understand me.'

 

[nerdygirl]

Okay. Here's a crappy one. My step-sister's husband cheated on her. He told their daughter that it was her fault, because she was always arguing with her mom, so he was trying to find her a new one.

 

[Pezza]

There's a famous excuse where a woman claimed she was impregnated by a 3D ****o film. What's worse is that her husband believed her and thinks that it's his child despite the fact that the baby was conceived whilst he was in Iraq. Just to add to that the baby's father is obviously african american whereas the couple are both white. She even claims that the lead actor in the film looks like her son.

It sounds unbelievable. This was an article in a newspaper, if you're ever bored it's definitely worth a read