Things not to say to your mother...

[annik]

Never start a sentence with "That's why I like 20s porn"!

 

[jjam]

Pack your things and leave...

My my mother almost pushed me days ago. I won't go into details here (wouldn't mind via PM).

"Almost" means I wasn't going to kick her out, but I was going to let her have it with some words I'd rather not say to her.

 

[Badjedidude]

I like to present my (conservative, christian, cultured) mother with scruples questions.

"Hey mom, if I converted to Islam, would you disown me? How about if I turned to fundamental Islam?"

or

"Hey mom, if I started having wild gay sex orgies with guys, would you still love me?"

or

"Hey mom, if I were a zombie, would you shoot me in the head? What if I were going to kill you? Would you do it?"



I do this because my mom hates to make hard choices like those. So it's my way of teasing her a bit.

 

[annik]

I like to present my (conservative, christian, cultured) mother with scruples questions.

"Hey mom, if I converted to Islam, would you disown me? How about if I turned to fundamental Islam?"

or

"Hey mom, if I started having wild gay sex orgies with guys, would you still love me?"

or

"Hey mom, if I were a zombie, would you shoot me in the head? What if I were going to kill you? Would you do it?"



I do this because my mom hates to make hard choices like those. So it's my way of teasing her a bit.

I bet my mum would say.

No
Yes
Of course dear

Then ask if I wanted a cup of tea...

 

[nerdygirl]

Hmm.

Her English not is so good, so no long word or complicate sentence!

 

[IgnoredOne]

Just about anything will set her off on a long and angry rant with no relevance to the conversation at hand. I suppose this means that I can say anything

 

[theSmokingRabbit]

If you are a teenage male you can easily scare your mother by simply telling her that your girlfriend is late. Doesn't matter if you have a girlfriend or not.

 

[Drama]

I like to present my (conservative, christian, cultured) mother with scruples questions.

"Hey mom, if I converted to Islam, would you disown me? How about if I turned to fundamental Islam?"

But when you're 140 you'd have to turn muslim or no getting the Liles (d). xD

---

'Mom, I'll never have kids.'

 

[Sci-Fi]

If you are a teenage male you can easily scare your mother by simply telling her that your girlfriend is late. Doesn't matter if you have a girlfriend or not.

Not my mom, she'd be overjoyed cause she'd finally get grandchildren. Not that I have a girlfriend to freak her out with anyway.

My mom would never want to hear me say "I've been in an accident" that would scare the crap out of her. Honestly, she starts to worry if I'm late showing up when I go home to visit her.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

"This Lithuanian girl likes me."

(Semi-joking. Sigh!)

 

[LoneKiller]

Do your damn job and make me some waffles asap woman!

 

[Sci-Fi]

O.O

lol

I think every mother in the world just smacked you across the face.

 

[annik]

I hate that no matter what I tell mine she always just says "very good"

I could say

"Mum I've won the Noble Peace Price"..."very good"

"I've cured cancer"..."very good"

"I'm the queen of the universe"..."very good"

AH!!

 

[IgnoredOne]

Would you like some tea?

 

[annik]

Would you like some tea?

Yes