Tips for making new friends

[Spy]

Hi everybody. The older I get, the harder it is for me to make new friends. I would like to know if you have a few tips for me that will help me to make new friends.

Thanks for your help!

 

[Tiina63]

1. Take up a new hobby and join a group or club for it or join a group for something you are already interested in. It will give you something in common with the others there from the start.
2. Try not to worry too much if everyone you meet will become a friend or not as you might come across as too keen and this can put people off. (Sometimes I have done this and it made people back away.)
3. Join an online penfriend site to make some new online friends as well as looking for offline friends. Some people think that online friendships are somehow 'inferior' to offline friendships but I have two very close online friends and consider them just as important as my offline friends. Also, having one or two really good online friends may boost your confidence when it comes to meeting people out and about.

 

[dd11]

The thing that i find the hardest is transitioning from acquaintance to friend.

 

[Peaches]

The thing that i find the hardest is transitioning from acquaintance to friend.

yes! I guess that involves vulnerability and sharing, but if it's too soon or too much people disappear... very fine line

 

[Spy]

Thanks for the advice. I did most of these (taking new hobbies, creating a baseball group ...). The only problem is that, like delledonne11 said, it's hard to transition from acquaintance to friend.

 

[Spy]

Any new tips?

 

[lonelyfairy]

I say that even you would go to different clubs, hobbies etc. it's a lot about luck (just my personal opinion) since you can't have chemistry with everyone, same kind of personalities etc. but new hobbies or going to some events about a specific hobby that interests you could help somewhat when wanting to meet new people but I read you have done that already (new hobbies thing). I feel like most friendships happen by coincidence and grow up stronger or ''die'' away after time naturally... You could basically meet a new friend everywhere, from bus stops to school to work to anywhere really, someone just have to do the first step, be brave and talk, even if the outcome wouldn't be what you liked. I can't say personally that does that work because haven't tried it myself and talking to a complete stranger can be really weird, haha (thus why common hobbies might get the talking flowing more easily). I guess, just be yourself and try to not be shy with new people.

 

[Tiina63]

The thing that i find the hardest is transitioning from acquaintance to friend.

yes! I guess that involves vulnerability and sharing, but if it's too soon or too much people disappear... very fine line

This is true. It is hard to know exactly how much to share and when to do it. As you said, too much or too soon and people disappear. Then there is the other extreme of not sharing anything and putting people off by being too closed. It is a conundrum.

 

[MisunderstoodVacancy]

I have some advice that may help your situation.

1. It's important to try and strike up conversion over topics that you know you can both relate to. For instance, whilst at a public urinal it is beneficial to make eye contact with the person next to you and comment of the state of their "stream". This can also lead in to the both of you discussing possible dietary changes to improve the fluidity of your eliminations.

2. If you're at a McDonald's maybe try making sure they see you snatching their burger. This will ensure that the other person has an incentive to approach and talk to you. Before, you were strangers, now you are connected by the common interest of both wanting the same burger. You can discuss the qualities you most admire in a burger and make sure the other person knows how you admire their taste in burgers. If this happens to be someone you are attracted to, you can even try a line like "I may have stolen your burger but you have stolen my heart, wanna trade and call I even?". The sly wisdom of this line never fails to make the ladies (and gents) swoon.

3. The simplest way to meet people is to go to a place where you know there will be others looking to expand their social network. Like a federal prison. Or the grocery store. Or the DMV.

4. Meetup groups can be good but it often helps to show initiative and maybe start your own group. What sort of things do you like? Since most people like eating/sleeping, starting a group that revolves around watching over people eat/sleep is sure to gather the most interest. Maybe offer to make a video that members can take home with them.

5. When meeting new friends, it is important to stand out from the crowd. Most people are asked how their day is or what they think of the weather time and time again. Maybe walk up to people on the street and throw out a controversial opinion, such as "abortions should really be mandated by the state after the third child". Or you could tell someone in no uncertain terms that holding hands before marriage will lead to eternal hellfire. By skipping the small talk you will allow the other person to speak passionately and open up their deepest beliefs to you, creating a much deeper bond than among normal aquatainces. This is sure to spark a rich and engaging discussion as people love discoursing with others whose believes radically differ from theirs. In fact, it can really cement a friendship if you vehemently disagree with them as much as possible about even the most insignificant of topics.

5. You probably walk by parents of small children every day. You should offer to watch their children so that they can go on a much needed spa day. Providing this service will make them appreciate you, want to be their friend and welcome you into their lives with open arms.

6. Make a list of all the different things you can think of that exist: toilet cleaner, dish soap, serial killer, sexually transmitted disease. Whenever you are stumped for a conversation topic simply ask the nearest person what their favorite one of those things. This is an amazing trick as it allows you to never be stumped for conversation again! If you don't know what to say to someone, ask them their favorite bird. If you don't know how to respond to that because you don't actually know anything about birds, simply follow up by asking about their favorite topic to spread on toast. This may seem like a disjointed way to go about it, but trust me, the conversation will flow as naturally and smoothly as your favorite toast toping.

7. Above all, sense of humor is important in a strong friendship. This is why it's important to make a conscious effort to laugh or joke about anything odd or weird looking about the personal appearance or mannerisms or anyone you meet. Potential friends will be sure to appreciate your attempts at lightening the mood.

 

[nondescript]

LOL! - although I am like the original poster and want proper answers to the question , but LOL anyway

 

[Oldyoung]

You won't get friends without getting out of the comfort zone. We're trained to just be acquaintances with people, all our lives.

Invite people to dinner. Invite people to go for a walk. Invite people to do some project.