To those of you who are single and usually feel hopeless about finding love...

[jjam]

what do you think the problem is? What do you think needs to change before your situation can change?

 

[Bluey]

Me/you, Us. You know what I mean? I really do not know the answer to that. If I did I probably would not be single.

I think to love someone you have to let your gourd down and for some that might be a problem. I mean I would not say I am the sort of person that could fall in love with a person just cos I meet her 1 or 2 times. I am the sort of person that has to know her for a long time. maybe am to picky. I don't know.

 

[bookbinder]

I'm gonna preface this by saying I'm a cynical *******, so feel free to disregard whatever I say.

In my experience (and this was true for me before I became a cynical *******) people like to put love up on a pedestal. They like to think of it as a kind of sheer joy that fills up your soul, as if your heart was laughing.

This is what keeps people from finding it. They're convinced it will happen all at once, as though they meet someone and they have to constantly search for some kind of connection. Most of these people will find nothing.

Love creeps up on you, and grabs you in its grips before you know it. If you're waiting for it, it will not show. You have to go forth assuming it will come eventually but never expecting it to come on time, because if you expect it, you'll usually force yourself into a relationship that will burn out quickly. Love is that evanescent, perfectly bloomed rose; you cannot will it to grow- you must chance upon the right weather.


In other words, fresia as much people as you can without intentions and sooner or later you should fall for someone. (I told you I was a cynical *******.)

 

[Bluey]

Actually the middle of that was very well put I thought and not at all cynical.

I think you are probably right in that it dose creep up on you then you don't realise you was in love tell its gone again. Maybe we should learn to appreciate things moor when we have them?

 

[Naleena]

what do you think the problem is? What do you think needs to change before your situation can change?

I do know that it may be a very long time- years-before I will be able to actively seek a relationship. Right now my 16 yr old, college, work, and advancement are my priorities.

I get very lonely sometimes but, I know it's my choice. When I am ready to give what I desire from another, then I will be available.

 

[Minus]

Actually the middle of that was very well put I thought and not at all cynical.

I thought so also.

 

[JustLost]

what do you think the problem is? What do you think needs to change before your situation can change?

Well, apparently I need to change into a fat beer swilling idiot with a John Deere hat, an obsession with football and a tendency to drool on myself to gain any attention from the women in my local area.

Based on my observations, the women around me are turned off by men who use proper grammar, stay in shape and actually care about the well being of their partner.

So, I guess I'll just knock a couple of my teeth out, gain a hundred pounds and become a misogynist son of a *****. That should please the ladies. Now if you'll excuse me I have naked lady mud flaps and a wife beater to purchase.

 

[Jeremi]

The problem is that I'm too much of a coward to tell a woman what I really feel about her. I'm too scared of rejection. And even if I got to date a woman, I got absolutely no experience with that sort of stuff, so I would just feel like a total failure all the time. I really wish that I could find someone who's as inexperienced as me. We wouldn't have to feel any pressure, and we could laugh together. But how do you find such a person?

Maybe one day I'll meet a woman that I feel so strong for that I'll HAVE to tell her. Until then, I don't really know what to do. Just being myself. Why can't that be enough?

 

[samba101]

I haven't got to that stage just yet ............ still to go through the dating scene ecetera. At this point of time in my life I've decided to keep optimistic, my previous partner of 10 years came out of the blue when I wasn't looking so I've decided if that can happen it can happen again. Have a few back up plans if nothing arises from the dating websites so that should do for now.

 

[iwasaloverb4thiswar]

I'm gonna preface this by saying I'm a cynical *******, so feel free to disregard whatever I say.

In my experience (and this was true for me before I became a cynical *******) people like to put love up on a pedestal. They like to think of it as a kind of sheer joy that fills up your soul, as if your heart was laughing.

This is what keeps people from finding it. They're convinced it will happen all at once, as though they meet someone and they have to constantly search for some kind of connection. Most of these people will find nothing.

Love creeps up on you, and grabs you in its grips before you know it. If you're waiting for it, it will not show. You have to go forth assuming it will come eventually but never expecting it to come on time, because if you expect it, you'll usually force yourself into a relationship that will burn out quickly. Love is that evanescent, perfectly bloomed rose; you cannot will it to grow- you must chance upon the right weather.


In other words, fresia as much people as you can without intentions and sooner or later you should fall for someone. (I told you I was a cynical *******.)

bahahaha oh man...wipes tears from eyes (tears of laughter)

No, no, I know what you mean, and I agree. I think ultilmately we have to be stable and content within ourselves first, before you can really love somone else. My motto is..uh motto? I mean philosophy... just continue to do and seek what makes you happy and be as honest with yourself as possible...when it is right and you are ready someone will come along. Worrying about it will only force you into wrong situations.

And lol Z...crackhead is a mood? naw man...its a lifestyle

 

[JustLost]

I don't know about any of the rest of you, but if I stop thinking about finding love it just ends up passing me by. I stopped thinking about it for many, many years and I ended up here, lonely and pissed off.

Love does not find me...I have to look for it. That's nice that the rest of you can just sit and let it come to you. I wish I had that option, but a few of us actually have to try a little harder when we want something in our life that matters.

This isn't a fairy tale where everything works out perfectly in the end, regardless of what we do...at least for me. Nothing good in my life has ever just fallen from the sky and into my lap...NOTHING...

Don't live your life thinking things will get better without your participation. I am living proof to the fact that it doesn't work that way. Please don't make my mistakes.

 

[bookbinder]

I don't know about any of the rest of you, but if I stop thinking about finding love it just ends up passing me by. I stopped thinking about it for many, many years and I ended up here, lonely and pissed off.

Love does not find me...I have to look for it. That's nice that the rest of you can just sit and let it come to you. I wish I had that option, but a few of us actually have to try a little harder when we want something in our life that matters.

This isn't a fairy tale where everything works out perfectly in the end, regardless of what we do...at least for me. Nothing good in my life has ever just fallen from the sky and into my lap...NOTHING...

Don't live your life thinking things will get better without your participation. I am living proof to the fact that it doesn't work that way. Please don't make my mistakes.

this, coming from the man who calls online dating a waste of time.

your advice is sound. start following it.

 

[JustLost]

this, coming from the man who calls online dating a waste of time.

If you'd met some of the people I met through online dating, you'd know why I dubbed it a waste of time. I tried, which is more than I can say for some people. Knowing when something doesn't work for you is also a big part of life.

your advice is sound. start following it.

I am. What's your excuse?

 

[snow]

I've decided to take the scientific approach to meeting women. What is it that they like? Could it be something completely different? Why do skinny white boys sometimes date models? (not that i'm talking about me lol. sarcasm.) We can build dams, rocketships and hydrogen cars but we are stuck with the 16-yr old mentality when it comes to women.
(feminists look away) I think women are more the same than different when it comes to attraction. Just as men are too...

Anyway I'm not intending to make a panacea to fix everyone's problems. A few of us might remember AaronAgassi, who had a similar idea but his posts were too long-winded and confusing to explain it.

iwasaloverb4thiswar - it's a lifestyle? haha hows the house coming along?

 

[bookbinder]

I am. What's your excuse?

My excuse for...what, exactly?

 

[JustLost]

I am. What's your excuse?

My excuse for...what, exactly?

Skip it...

 

[Naleena]

Hi JustLost,
I tried online dating, too. I went out with loads of guys...lol I guess it's just another tool to get to know people you might otherwise not meet. It gives you more options. I, for the most, part enjoyed it
It does have it's draw backs. Some of them just want to jump in your pants...lol It does make for an awkward first date. Then some of them want to kiss you on the mouth. It's like hey, buddy, I'm not swapping spit with anybody I don't know...lol How do I know where your mouths been in the last 24 hours?
Sorry your experience wasn't a good one. I think when I have time to date and meet people again, I'm going to look around at different volunteer organizations and clubs that interest me.

I think it will prove more fruitful. That way, I can watch someone (not in a creepy stalker kind of way....lol) and see how they are. I'm old fashioned in a lot of ways. Don't like rushing into anything serious.

Maybe we should have a thread on "dates gone wrong"...lol What do you think?

Naleena

 

[JustLost]

Hi JustLost,
I tried online dating, too. I went out with loads of guys...lol I guess it's just another tool to get to know people you might otherwise not meet. It gives you more options. I, for the most, part enjoyed it

For me, it's a useless tool. There's only so many times a person can bang their head against a concrete wall before they're forced to admit that it hurts. If I was attractive, rich or halfway interesting I might have had better luck. Unfortunately I am none of these things and that makes it EXTREMELY difficult.

It does have it's draw backs. Some of them just want to jump in your pants...lol It does make for an awkward first date. Then some of them want to kiss you on the mouth.

There's a lot of that. This also makes it difficult for those of us who are legitimately looking for someone special.

Maybe we should have a thread on "dates gone wrong"...lol What do you think?

I have lots of horror stories. Although I'm not sure if anyone would be interested in hearing them. To be honest, I'm not even sure I want to hear them again.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I'm gonna preface this by saying I'm a cynical *******, so feel free to disregard whatever I say.

In my experience (and this was true for me before I became a cynical *******) people like to put love up on a pedestal. They like to think of it as a kind of sheer joy that fills up your soul, as if your heart was laughing.

This is what keeps people from finding it. They're convinced it will happen all at once, as though they meet someone and they have to constantly search for some kind of connection. Most of these people will find nothing.

Love creeps up on you, and grabs you in its grips before you know it. If you're waiting for it, it will not show. You have to go forth assuming it will come eventually but never expecting it to come on time, because if you expect it, you'll usually force yourself into a relationship that will burn out quickly. Love is that evanescent, perfectly bloomed rose; you cannot will it to grow- you must chance upon the right weather.


In other words, fresia as much people as you can without intentions and sooner or later you should fall for someone. (I told you I was a cynical *******.)

OMG ROFLMAO!! I couldn't have said it any better!!!!!!!! Does that make a cynical ******* too??

I will amend this by saying that you can't meet anyone if you're not willing to put yourself out there so that you have the OPPORTUNITY to meet someone. And by putting yourself "out there" you will invariably subject yourself to rejection, heartache and just plain weirdness. But, you still have the opportunity to find what you're looking for. I guess some of us, like zraskolnikov and myself, have just had a different kind of experience with relationships. Salute!

 

[EveWasFramed]

what do you think the problem is? What do you think needs to change before your situation can change?

Well, apparently I need to change into a fat beer swilling idiot with a John Deere hat, an obsession with football and a tendency to drool on myself to gain any attention from the women in my local area.

Based on my observations, the women around me are turned off by men who use proper grammar, stay in shape and actually care about the well being of their partner.

So, I guess I'll just knock a couple of my teeth out, gain a hundred pounds and become a misogynist son of a *****. That should please the ladies. Now if you'll excuse me I have naked lady mud flaps and a wife beater to purchase.

Bloody hell, I nearly spewed the water I was drinking as I read this! I'm still chuckling. I pitty the women in your area, if that's what they're into, dude. Maybe you should consider relocating.