Very turned off by on-line dating and even scared of it.

[MiguelMS]

"Unfortunately a lot of you "desperate" ones...","...or starting dsrespectful things"

If you are disrespectful towards others no wonder others start disrespecful things. Maybe you don´t get approached by great quality men like myself for that and instead attract low quality men because YOU are a low quality woman. Mind you, YOU are the problem. You are getting exactly what you deserve. It nos evil men, is not casual ***, is you being low. Put that in your  feminist pipe and smoke it.

Um, I hate to break it to you but if you were as "great" as you say you are, you would NOT talk like this to a woman.....Doesn't matter if it's online or off, great guys don't talk like this, regardless of whether they "deserve" it or not, which I don't believe she does...

So she can can be great and still be disrespectful but If I defend myself I can´t be great right? Good logic. Either only she is not great or both are not great. Those are the only options.

First of all, I never said she was great.  I don't know her well enough to make that determination.  What I did say is that great guys don't attack women for stating their opinions. 
She also never stated she was "great," but you did.

But why do you focus on me. Great guys do not talk to PEOPLE like this. Remember male and female are the same. It might be wrong to talk like this independently if she is a male or a female. She started being disrespectful completly out of the blue. Why didn´t you said to her "great women don´t talk to men like this" Agan female bias is showing.
Also what did I said that was so awful? I put her in her place, she is not great. She was disrespectful. She tried to shame me.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Let's try this again. YOU are the only person here that is stating you are great. No one else is, just you. If they were saying they are a great catch for dating, then sure, I'd say the same to them, but they aren't. As for the men/woman stuff, well, this thread is about online dating, you have stated you want to **** women, therefore, if you are a great guy to date or ****, then you are referring to women.....unless of course I missed something and you are either bisexual or gay, in which case, sure it would be PEOPLE.

You seem to have an issue of attacking anyone who doesn't agree with your opinion. Perhaps you should look into that....

 

[MiguelMS]

Let's try this again.  YOU are the only person here that is stating you are great.  No one else is, just you.  If they were saying they are a great catch for dating, then sure, I'd say the same to them, but they aren't.  As for the men/woman stuff, well, this thread is about online dating, you have stated you want to **** women, therefore, if you are a great guy to date or ****, then you are referring to women.....unless of course I missed something and you are either bisexual or gay, in which case, sure it would be PEOPLE.

You seem to have an issue of attacking anyone who doesn't agree with your opinion.  Perhaps you should look into that....

I am not attacking anyone, I am simply disagreeable which is psychological trait. I also have a strong temperament. 

Let´s try this again, you keep focusing on ME and my supposed flaws because I am a man with a strong *** drive who go for what he wants in life instead of being a loser. You don´t like that, our society don´t like that because makes it harder to control the masses.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I am not attacking anyone, I am simply disagreeable which is psychological trait. I also have a strong temperament. 

Let´s try this again, you keep focusing on ME and my supposed flaws because I am a man with a strong *** drive who go for what he wants in life instead of being a loser. You don´t like that, our society don´t like that because makes it harder to control the masses.

lol, okay then.  Whatever you say, you have all the answers, I'm just a dumb ***** who couldn't possibly know anything.  Although, just because someone doesn't go around ******* anything that moves doesn't mean they are a loser....

 

[MiguelMS]

I am not attacking anyone, I am simply disagreeable which is psychological trait. I also have a strong temperament. 

Let´s try this again, you keep focusing on ME and my supposed flaws because I am a man with a strong *** drive who go for what he wants in life instead of being a loser. You don´t like that, our society don´t like that because makes it harder to control the masses.

lol, okay then.  Whatever you say, you have all the answers, I'm just a dumb ***** who couldn't possibly know anything.  Although, just because someone doesn't go around ******* anything that moves doesn't mean they are a loser....

Loser meaning not going for what he/she wants. Nothing to do with "******* anything that moves", which is not even what I want, not even close and you know it. You come across as incredibly disingenuous. You are smart enough to know exactly what I mean but deliberatly twist my words to fit your narrative. And no , I am not attacking you. To attack someone is something really serious, stop twisting words.

Is like you actually want people or me in particular to call you a "dumb *****" or something. If I am here is because I don´t thing I have all the answers and want to know what people think and DEBATE if neccesary. Apperently you can´t deal with that.

I am so sorry that you view sexuality as a nasty thing. Again, it seems as if you want it to be like that. I have news for you *** can be intimate and fun AND "casual" without being dirty. I am sorry you can only view it as either something magical between loved ones or a disgusting act between perverts. It´s just sad.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Actually no, someone just said I was dumb, so I'm going with it. lol And believe me, I can DEBATE with the best of them. You, however, seem to be impossible to debate because you have your idea of what you want and what is good and grand in the world and don't seem to want to even consider any other sides. You did admit in your last thread that you would be using the girl if you dated her, but what you don't seem to realize is that you seem to want to use women to get your bedpost full of notches.

As for the whole attacking thing, no, you aren't being insulting with me, which is weird because I'm being rather blunt about ****, as I always am. But the people who aren't as blunt you are insulting with, so I don't really understand that.

Actually, I don't find sexuality to be a nasty thing at all. I also think "dirty" *** can be fun, depending on your definition of dirty, of course. I have nothing against one night stands (although I'd never have one, it's just not my style) or whatever, but I do have an issue with using women (or men) just so you can get to where you think you should be in society.

 

[MiguelMS]

Actually no, someone just said I was dumb, so I'm going with it.  lol  And believe me, I can DEBATE with the best of them.  You, however, seem to be impossible to debate because you have your idea of what you want and what is good and grand in the world and don't seem to want to even consider any other sides.  You did admit in your last thread that you would be using the girl if you dated her, but what you don't seem to realize is that you seem to want to use women to get your bedpost full of notches.  

As for the whole attacking thing, no, you aren't being insulting with me, which is weird because I'm being rather blunt about ****, as I always am.  But the people who aren't as blunt you are insulting with, so I don't really understand that.  

Actually, I don't find sexuality to be a nasty thing at all.  I also think "dirty" *** can be fun, depending on your definition of dirty, of course.  I have nothing against one night stands (although I'd never have one, it's just not my style) or whatever, but I do have an issue with using women (or men) just so you can get to where you think you should be in society.

Look, I have admited that initiating something with my classmate would be wrong. I was feeling bad when I wrote the post I didn´t know what to do. I asked here and after coming to my senses I decide it would be wrong to do it because is simply not what I look for.

I don´t know what more proof do you need that I am not trying to use women. Please can you tell me the difference between using women for *** and casual ***(even though is not your style you admit is ok to do it). Why do you think I want to use women, get my bedspot full of notches, or **** anything that moves? For the last time this is what I want: Experience intimate fun and casual *** with different women while being honest and respectful from the very start. Is there something wrong with this or you just don´t believe me?

 

[ardour]

"Unfortunately a lot of you "desperate" ones...","...or starting dsrespectful things"

If you are disrespectful towards others no wonder others start disrespecful things. Maybe you don´t get approached by great quality men like myself for that and instead attract low quality men because YOU are a low quality woman. Mind you, YOU are the problem. You are getting exactly what you deserve. It nos evil men, is not casual ***, is you being low. Put that in your  feminist pipe and smoke it.

Um, I hate to break it to you but if you were as "great" as you say you are, you would NOT talk like this to a woman.....Doesn't matter if it's online or off, great guys don't talk like this, regardless of whether they "deserve" it or not, which I don't believe she does...

So she can can be great and still be disrespectful but If I defend myself I can´t be great right? Good logic. Either only she is not great or both are not great. Those are the only options.

---

Any  interest that isn't reciprocoted is going to be viewed with some contempt and suspicion, no matter the approach or the attitude of person doing the approaching. Feelings of repulsion will influence the ability to judge fairly after all.   Add to tha widespreak hypergamy and  limited avenues to meet the opposite *** as you get older, and the frustration *might* lead someone with limited self awareness to think tchatting women up in public was their only remaining option.

That doesn't change that fact that it's still stupid, intrusive and a definite sign of desperation.  They want to go about their day without having to deal with some numbnuts who can't understand social norms. Even I get pissed off when strangers looking for attention try to talk to me on public transport. I'm tired and you don't want to have to deal with them, something about the looking for attention aspect to it is really annoying.   Imagine how aggravating it is for women when there's an obvious agenda there.

So you hate when strangers talk to you? Well no wonder you are on a forum called "A lonly life". I am sorry that humans are social animals and we all have "agendas".

---

I don't have a problem if it's a social setting, but just out in public, in stores, the supermarket etc. people are trying to go about their day and get things done, or they're zoned out and tired.  Being 'social' requires you read social situations properly with consideration for when and how to approach others. Bothering random people in public suggests you aren't able or willing to think about any of that; it's all just 'you'  - which beyond being annoying is an immediate red flag for the other person.

 

[doge]

You don't meet people through dating sites, you meet them through experiences. If your looking for people through such a site you got the wrong mindset. The whole dating thing is dumb anyway.  Actually go out there and do stuff whether it be online or offline.

 

[EmilyFoxSeaton]

If you are disrespectful towards others no wonder others start disrespecful things. Maybe you don´t get approached by great quality men like myself for that and instead attract low quality men because YOU are a low quality woman. Mind you, YOU are the problem. You are getting exactly what you deserve. It nos evil men, is not casual ***, is you being low. Put that in your  feminist pipe and smoke it.

And there it is... the explosion when we don't tell you how awesome you are... see you proved my point.

 

[MiguelMS]

If you are disrespectful towards others no wonder others start disrespecful things. Maybe you don´t get approached by great quality men like myself for that and instead attract low quality men because YOU are a low quality woman. Mind you, YOU are the problem. You are getting exactly what you deserve. It nos evil men, is not casual ***, is you being low. Put that in your  feminist pipe and smoke it.

And there it is... the explosion when we don't tell you how awesome you are... see you proved my point.

I don´t "explode" because you don´t tell me "how great I am" but I will defend myself if you insult me (desperate) completely out of the blue. I contacted with you first very politely why did you have to be rude and try to shame me?

 

[M_also_lonely]

Online dating is a joke.

 

[QuietDesperation]

I suspect online dating was more effective many years ago, like maybe the 90s to early 2000s. That's probably before many of you were born. I know of people in their 50s to early 60s who successfully found their partners on online dating sites many years ago.

Back then, the field was probably a lot less crowded than it is now. There were only a handful of dating sites. Back then, people seemed to have been less shallow and looks-oriented. Online dating sites back then, I heard, didn't even require a picture for you to post.

The people who even used online dating sites back then were a very select group. They probably tended to be educated, hip, and from liberal areas where people were early adopters of technology.

These days - especially after Tinder - online/app dating has gone to hell. People are more looks-oriented than ever. It's a swiping culture. It's an instant snap judgment that I find extremely off-putting. People are only oriented towards a specific look, too - it's it's not just someone's face or build - it's also their particular hairstyle, the specific clothes they wear, their facial expressions and vibe. People are so shallow that if someone doesn't look exactly like what they're used to - they want nothing to do with them.

I suppose the average look that people like are the "Chads" or maybe some more current term that I'm not familiar with - and the female version of the Chad - the "Stacy," maybe. They're people with perfect looks and a very shallow, extroverted vibe. They know how to dress in their boring but "right" ways. Their hair looks right. They lack creativity and innovative thinking. They're beloved simply for the way they look and come across. They were sorority girls or frat boys in college. They have a huge built-in network, and it gets bigger by the day. They easily got the best grades and went to the best schools - being popular means they were very mentally sound, so they were able to think better, write essays easily, and test well. They also had a lot of friends to study with. They were also teacher's pets - I think you need to be attractive enough, to some degree, to be a teacher's pet.

I personally don't know any "E" personalities in Myers Briggs - but these people are all "E's," and they've never had to think much in their lives. These people, I guess, are just out every night, with their huge group of friends. And they make more friends where ever they go. They get the best treatment everywhere. They're easily hired for the best, highest-paying jobs, get promotions easily, and get to jump from job to job, each better than the next - because they're so "wantable." They build wealth easily - everyone wants to employ them and give them a high salary - or if they're self-employed, they have tons of customers. These are people that people think is a joy simply to interact with. They're so happy and stress-free. They just have the easiest, most amazing lives that I'll never be able to imagine.

They've really lucked out in the game of life, and they've been dealt an excellent set of cards. I've been dealt the worst cards possible. I suffer severely in life, and there's no way out of it.

 

[Siku]

^ I can 110% relate to this and absolute agree with. Including any potential bitterness, resentment or general dislike that is maybe paired with it.

I just would've went with tools, ****** bags, or snobs. You're clearly a book reader and well educated. I'm actually quite envious of how well and detailed all of that was. ******* spot on.

I am absolutely dumb founded over the people who use these new dating apps and get upset that it turned out to be a one night stand or one of the two were shallow. Well... no ******* ****!

 

[QuietDesperation]

^Wow, envious of me? You definitely wouldn't be if you saw me in person.

Yes, you're right, and I'm glad you can tell that I've been a voracious reader my whole life, went to elite schools, had many interesting jobs/volunteer activities in the past - and I know I'm far more thoughtful and perceptive than most people. Yet I've gotten nowhere in life, and I'm stuck posting all day, on the 4th of July, instead of out partying like everyone else. It's extremely cold today, by the way, with very visible fog rolling in. I guess all the 4th of July celebrations here are held indoors today.

I'm not the only one, on this forum or others. I've seen other detailed, deep thinkers who seem to have miserable lives, are in poverty, and are judged/excluded by others, too.

 

[Siku]

I'm not exactly a "looker" either, and have my share fair of being an outcast, if that's where you're indeed getting at. Heh.

Something else we have in common, as I too am here instead of partaking in any social activities. Part voluntarily though. I find the whole idea of lighting expensive fireworks to be silly, financially careless, and more of a status symbol than it needs to be. Comparable to neighborhood ***** size comparisons. Nothing more American than ignorance and missing the entire point. Difference between you and I (aside from the education of course and lack of passionate reading on my end) I consider myself more observant and listening than necessarily thoughtful or perceptive. And, I'm an entirely self-taught "nerd" due to my anxieties, low-poverty upbringing, and care-giving to my father during most of my youth. I had to drop out of high school at 16 in order to take care of him (too stubborn and prideful to accept government appointed home nurses). What I may lack in IQ or education, I make up for in EQ due to my life experiences.

And yes, you're absolutely right. Quite a handful on here even. However, it's ironic that they all don't necessarily talk to one another. Perhaps the self-awareness is too strong.

Life and people suck but on the upside, it at least builds character? lol....

 

[QuietDesperation]

^ Yes, I've known of Ivy-educated types stuck posting on forums, living in poverty, and being Forever Alone. People don't like them, so they're handicapped in all life areas. There are various types - uneducated and nerdy/bookish, educated and dumb/non-bookish, and everything in between. We're united in our unattractive looks, awkwardness, and extreme lack of charisma.

It's true that the detailed posters on this site and others don't talk seem to talk to each other. I'm well aware of detailed posters anywhere - and they never want anything to do with me. We wouldn't get along.