Victim of Childhood PTSD

[Robert550]

Hello to all of you folks!
I will attempt to explain what happened to me as a child and young man, as an elder of 67 years upon this planet of apes. I was born in 1955. Polio was still a thing back then, but I was nieve back then and didn't know how awful humans can be to youngsters like me. I wish I had died in my mother's womb, as my two brothers did before me. Alas that did not happen, but I was born with a survival drive from hell, and so cannot commit suicide. Many awful things occurred to me from birth into high school, and many further on, so I became a loner, with only a few male-female relationships and only a few true friends, all gone now, during my time on this planet of half-crazed apes. A death by polio would have been a much better fate then mine has been, living on this illogical, violent world.

 

[user 135067]

Welcome to the board. Poke around. Find your friends.

I take it you had polio? Debilitating? And that's the issue with your life?

We play the hand we are dealt. Not to minimize your plight. Most here have a gripe about the hand they were dealt. I guess that's why we are all here.

I know it helps to get it out. I can relate to being crippled. I'm sure others here can relate to how it effected your life and relationships. Is there a kid in school that hasn't claimed awful things happened to them? It's not much to relate to.

So exactly what's bothering you? Something brought you here. What was that?

 

[Unsigned]

I totally get where @Robert550 is coming from.
I too was picked on and pushed around constantly by the other kids in school.
Pretty much from the day I started kindergarten until the day I graduated HS.
My issue is that I was extremely skinny as a kid.
I weighed 60 pounds in 6th grade.
Was 6'1" and 115 lbs when I graduated HS.
Because my experiences with others was always very bad, I naturally became a loner.
My father was apathetic and no help at all, and my mother was downright detrimental.
I finally gained weight and filled out when I was a junior in college but by then it was too late. I became what I became.

I think younger guys these days have it better because they can come on the internet and ask advice from old guys like me,
and we can tell them to avoid the mistakes we made. There was no resource like this in the 70s and 80s when I was growing up.

 

[Butterfly 2]

Welcome, Robert! 1955? We already have something in common and I know exactly what era you are talking about. Happy to see you here.

 

[Black Rose]

Hi, Robert. I'm a late reply, but I wanted to say,"Hello and welcome." I relate to a lot of your words. All through school I was a loner. I haven't many friends. The two people who knew me best and loved me (my sisters) both died early. I have no one who I can share my life and cares with like I could with them. I miss them so much. I don't know if you're still around here, but I hope so. Maybe our paths will cross in the threads.

 

[user 188522]

Times were so different. Born now instead of in the 50"s My father would have been arrested for child abuse. He beat the person out of me. Ergo, I became a loner. I just wanted to reach out and welcome you to the forum.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Welcome. I think having TRUE friends is the best thing in life. The people who accept you for you. You don't need to have a lot of those, a few will do. I'm sure there are more people out there for you.

 

[user 139760]

a survival drive from hell

... annoying, isn't it?

 

[Rvanson]

... annoying, isn't it?

Yes it is. I almost died at 10 of a burst appendix, and I wish I had. I cant wait to die. I have never taken the Covid shots hoping it would kill me, but that hasn't happened yet.

 

[Rvanson]

Welcome, Robert! 1955? We already have something in common and I know exactly what era you are talking about. Happy to see you here.

Thank you Butterfly 2.

 

[Rvanson]

Times were so different. Born now instead of in the 50"s My father would have been arrested for child abuse. He beat the person out of me. Ergo, I became a loner. I just wanted to reach out and welcome you to the forum.

I am sorry you father beat you, Lady Grey. A man who beats his children is no man at all.

 

[Rvanson]

Welcome to the board. Poke around. Find your friends.

I take it you had polio? Debilitating? And that's the issue with your life?

We play the hand we are dealt. Not to minimize your plight. Most here have a gripe about the hand they were dealt. I guess that's why we are all here.

I know it helps to get it out. I can relate to being crippled. I'm sure others here can relate to how it effected your life and relationships. Is there a kid in school that hasn't claimed awful things happened to them? It's not much to relate to.

So exactly what's bothering you? Something brought you here. What was that?

No I didn't catch polio, It was a prevalent disease when I was born. I had an alcoholic mother who became insane with rage when drunk, and a father who enabled her, thus leading to a life of depression and Loneliness. I have no family or friends at all. Life is meaningless.