What do yopu do when you have no redeeming qualities?

[Luke]

Hi, I am new to this forum, this post is just my way of expressing how I feel, so it's not necessary to reply. I'm 27, I have no friends, the people that were once my friends have moved on with their lives, they have good jobs, girlfriends, they travel, some of them are getting married. I am no longer part of their circle of friends.
I'm unemployed, I have no skills, no qualifications, I am currently in a basic computer programming course and I have no idea what I'm doing.
I'm extremely unattractive, I have bad teeth, a big nose, bad skin, I'm losing my hair, I have bags under my eyes.
I've never had a girlfriend, I only kissed a girl once when I was 15.
I'm slow witted, I don't really have any useful knowledge or intelligence, there's nothing really worth knowing me for.
I still live with my parents, my father hasn't spoken more than a few words to me in several years now. he steals things from my room, everything from money to razor blades, when I catch him he just laughs and denies he's doing anything, he is a coward and a liar, traits I have inherited from him. My mother is a vile human being, paranoid, vindictive and extremely passive aggressive, traits I have also inherited.
Most people I encounter look down on me or judge me, some people are nice to me out of pity, but that's almost as bad.
I try my hardest never to judge people, or ever make people feel bad, as I would never want anyone to feel as i feel all the time, I wouldn't treat an animal the way I'm treated, nevermind a human being. I face this now everyday for whats left of my life, I don't care about anything anymore, nothing matters.

 

[SophiaGrace]

You empathize with other people. You *do* have a redeaming quality.

 

[Limlim]

I would say go out and get some redeeming qualities. Work on those skills and qualifications you don't have.

 

[LoneKiller]

Hi, I am new to this forum, this post is just my way of expressing how I feel, so it's not necessary to reply. I'm 27, I have no friends, the people that were once my friends have moved on with their lives, they have good jobs, girlfriends, they travel, some of them are getting married. I am no longer part of their circle of friends.
I'm unemployed, I have no skills, no qualifications, I am currently in a basic computer programming course and I have no idea what I'm doing.
I'm extremely unattractive, I have bad teeth, a big nose, bad skin, I'm losing my hair, I have bags under my eyes.
I've never had a girlfriend, I only kissed a girl once when I was 15.
I'm slow witted, I don't really have any useful knowledge or intelligence, there's nothing really worth knowing me for.
I still live with my parents, my father hasn't spoken more than a few words to me in several years now. he steals things from my room, everything from money to razor blades, when I catch him he just laughs and denies he's doing anything, he is a coward and a liar, traits I have inherited from him. My mother is a vile human being, paranoid, vindictive and extremely passive aggressive, traits I have also inherited.
Most people I encounter look down on me or judge me, some people are nice to me out of pity, but that's almost as bad.
I try my hardest never to judge people, or ever make people feel bad, as I would never want anyone to feel as i feel all the time, I wouldn't treat an animal the way I'm treated, nevermind a human being. I face this now everyday for whats left of my life, I don't care about anything anymore, nothing matters.

Jesus Christ! Don't be so hard on yourself. Part of you does care or you wouldn't have made this post. Your living situation makes me truly sad. Hang around this forum please. Give us a chance to help in anyway possible. If you are looking for a friend you have found one in me. The members are compassionate and won't judge you.

Welcome to the forum that cares friend. My real name is Jason. Glad to see ya here!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

There's so much people can do for you on line.
You might try support groups such as ACOA or ACA..if it's avaliable in your area.
You can try Alan on or even try your local mental health department for group theropy.

Growning up and living in a dysfucntional enviornment will really really **** you up.

I do attend other support groups such as AA or NA becuase ACA or ACOA arnt avaliable were we live.
The pople I hang out with or talk to arnt so much focus on not drinking or getting high anymore.
We're more focus on recovery from all the fucken mental and emotional abused we lived through.
Alot of us grew up in dysfunctional homes from verious econamic backgrounds.
If anything most the people I associate with are people that came from a weatlhy home
lived on the nice side of town.

Recovery takes time. We all know we must change the way we live, think, feel and believe about ourselves.

Some people still have to live at home with thier parents...as you do.
The struggle and challenges of that...
However there's living tools and coping skills you can learn to live
there until you get your own place or remove yourself from that enviorment.

Basically this is what you're saying...
You need to get the **** out of there. There's plenty of options avaliable to you
It's understand able that you might wanna end your life.
Most people feel this way when they first seek recovery, hitted a bottom or have had enough.
Being around crazy people can drive anyone crazy.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I would say go out and get some redeeming qualities. Work on those skills and qualifications you don't have.

Ditto.

 

[Ak5]

As LoneKiller said it, don't be so hard on yourself! If your frustrated at something, work on it! Think your not smart? Read books! Think your ugly? Work out!

There's a solution to everything.

btw I wish I could kiss a girl lol.

 

[Tiina63]

How can you say that you are slow witted when you have expressed yourself so well? You are coming across as likeable, sincere and very capable of expressing what you are thinking and feeling.
The fact you no longer have any friends is not a reflection of your value as a person, but simply means that people have moved on. Often, in your late teens/twenties this does happen. It happened to me at that time as well. It did hurt a lot then, but eventually I came to see that it was for the best, as we had become very different people.
Although our society is 'lookist' there are many people who see past appearance to the person within. Besides, I doubt very much that you are as unattractive as you claim to be. I think you are lacking confidence. (This is something we share, so I know how bad it feels.)
If you don't enjoy your course, maybe you could start looking for a course you might like more?
Your parents sound as if they wouldn't win any parent of the year awards-maybe you could think about moving out one day? I know this would be hard at present while yoiu are not earning, but maybe it is something to work towards?

 

[Sci-Fi]

Computer programming eh...been there, done that, won't go back. It doesn't sound like something you really want to do though, maybe you should shift your focus to something that interests you more and gives you more value.

Like Sophia said, you do have a redeeming quality, the last part of your post proves it.

 

[putter65]

Computer programming eh...been there, done that, won't go back. It doesn't sound like something you really want to do though, maybe you should shift your focus to something that interests you more and gives you more value.

Like Sophia said, you do have a redeeming quality, the last part of your post proves it.

I wanted to be a computer programmer back in the early 90's. Spent a few years trying to get a job. Got nowhere. I finally took a job working in a shop serving people. I still do that, it's a job and money.

If I was unemployed I would take any job. It gives you something to do, you appreciate your spare time more, you get to meet people and of course you have money in your pocket to spend on yourself. That would be the first step to improving your life. And if you can't find a job, look to do voluntary work.

 

[decemberryan]

Know that you are not alone in life, other people have the same problems you do. I am one of them, I don't have all the same problems you do and I hve so that you did not list. I over weight and losing my hair, and divorced (she got all the friends in the divorce). I hold out hope that it will get better for you and me. I know that does not help with any of your problems, but I am a firm believer in what comes around goes around. And your time with come.

 

[lonely_one]

Wow sounds just like me! Only Im 29 female. Exact same issues!!

 

[Public_Enemy]

Interesting list, now do it again only listing the positive aspects of your life, there are always some. Fact, your post only focuses on the negative side, negativity only drains you of energy and keeps you were you do not want to remain.

Stuck at home with your parents? You still have a roof over your head, big nose? You have a feature that is unique and stands out, live at home with your parents? You are not pouring dead money into rent, you can save up, you don't have to spend all of your money on bills and a mortgage. Bad teeth? I know some one who only has one tooth, guess which option he would chose if given the choice.

Your hardships, your bad feelings and harsh treatment have made you a sensitive and empathic person, those are rare and useful skills that can be used in life. Perhaps when we see ourselves as penniless, instead we are in fact priceless...

 

[mug]

Hello!!! And Welcome!!! Excellent responses to your opening post. I can relate to some of your struggles and have learned from the responses you've received. So, you've helped me already! Thx.

I would also add looks only effect relationships so far sometimes. Have you ever entered someone's home for the first time and it was too messy or too clean for your preferrence and it made you uncomfortable and you kinda judged the person negatively at first.

Then you talk to them and find out they are great and after that you never even notice or care how their home looks after that? Relationships with people and their looks can go that way too. And those would be the best kinda friends, anyway!

Also, I commend you for recognizing the negative traits you have inherited. That puts you far ahead of many. You can't fix what you aren't aware of.

I know all too well about extreme passive aggressiveness in parents it can really screw with your head. It is a cerebral bullying meant to be unfightable (know that's no a word but it fits)

Again, you are not alone!