What do you _actually_ look for in a partner?

[Oldyoung]

Nevermind the headline/topic. Read:

Sometimes I'm curious about what people are looking for in a partner. What are good traits, and what are bad. But when you ask 'what do you look for in a partner', you usually get a politically correct, general and vague answer.

But I want the truth.. (Or something closer to it anyway)

What do/did you find interesting in your current/previous partner?

For myself, I liked her playful mood, that she didn't make too much drama, (had a relaxed approach to our relationship), and that she was rather intelligent. As for appearance, she was a bit shorter than me, average weight, bust on the smaller side.. All enjoyable...

 

[putter65]

Sometimes I'm curious about what people are looking for in a partner. What are good traits, and what are bad. But when you ask 'what do you look for in a partner', you usually get a politically correct, general and vague answer.

But I want the truth.. (Or something closer to it anyway)

What do/did you find interesting in your current/previous partner?

For myself, I liked her playful mood, that she didn't make too much drama, (had a relaxed approach to our relationship), and that she was rather intelligent. As for appearance, she was a bit shorter than me, average weight, bust on the smaller side.. All enjoyable...

smaller than me, slim, nice smile

easy nature, kind, honest, interesting, caring

 

[Barbaloot]

I was always pretty flexible when it came to appearance, but I was quite particular about personality traits.

What I looked for were compatible morals and values, a love of animals (especially cats), intelligence, a good sense of humor, someone with ambition and who wanted to be something. Someone with a university education / ideally a similar university education. Someone who was quite deferential towards me/chivalrous. Someone who knew how to be romantic. A vegetarian. Someone with a good work ethic. Someone who never wallowed in self-pity and was never bitter. Someone who was a lot more stable than I am. Someone who would at the same time respect a lot of my craziness. Someone who was completely in love with me.

I was lucky to find these qualities in my husband. I also liked that he doesn't play video games at all, and that even though many of his interests are quite different from my own, he actually has hobbies and interests. I think we balance each other out quite well, though some of our differences can make it quite difficult to live together at times.

 

[Okiedokes]

If I were looking...which I'm not... I would want to be with someone who believes in God and basic similar beliefs, someone who likes the outdoors as well as relaxing inside. Not easily angered, not violent, knows how to compromise, likes to cuddle, wants to be with me and love me, those are the basics if I were looking for someone serious.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I'm not too fussy about physical attributes of girls, I find many women have attractive physical features in different ways.

I do have a soft spot for girls with defined facial features though. For some reason I really like girls with a sharp jawline, just makes them look really kissable. Also freckles are quite nice :shy:

But more importantly, I prefer girls who are intelligent, polite and enjoy joking around a bit. If a girl also holds my sort of relationship values (I.E. she doesn't sleep around) I find that very attractive too.

I recently talked to a girl and we just seemed to agree so fluidly on things I had this feeling that I've never experienced before, like I'd just finally "clicked" completely with someone. I felt really elated, it was unusual.

I don't know if she felt the same way of course, but I guess it'd be a girl that can provoke that inexplicable feeling of happiness in me that I'd be interested in.

 

[Regumika]

i think physical attributes will always have opinions. so i will leave that part out.

Honest, humble, straightforward, takes pride on whats important to her but does not boast about it. She has to love physical affection (holding hands/cuddling etc.)

I am the type that focuses more on the presence and body language rather than those spoken from the mind and mouth.

 

[IgnoredOne]

****s

 

[Limlim]

yeah definitely ****s.

 

[Astral_Punisher]

yeah definitely ****s.

If I'm not mistaken, that's sort of a given .

I look for easygoing, non-dramatic people that enjoy their lives, and have some sort of long-term life goals (house, kids, career, art, travel, etc) that they actually work toward (not just with empty lip-service, either).
They have to share at least some of my interests.
I've found that getting into a relationship where you don't share interest becomes incredibly boring after a while (I would want to go do an activity, and she would make it as difficult as possible for me, complain, lay guilt and blame, and make my life hell until I did what she wanted to instead).

Don't gloss over the fact that you don't have anything in common with someone without forethought!
It can really become aggravating 5 years later when he/she is the most boring, energy-sucking black hole in your life!

 

[Barbaloot]

I'm not too fussy about physical attributes of girls, I find many women have attractive physical features in different ways.

I do have a soft spot for girls with defined facial features though. For some reason I really like girls with a sharp jawline, just makes them look really kissable. Also freckles are quite nice :shy:

But more importantly, I prefer girls who are intelligent, polite and enjoy joking around a bit. If a girl also holds my sort of relationship values (I.E. she doesn't sleep around) I find that very attractive too.

I recently talked to a girl and we just seemed to agree so fluidly on things I had this feeling that I've never experienced before, like I'd just finally "clicked" completely with someone. I felt really elated, it was unusual.

I don't know if she felt the same way of course, but I guess it'd be a girl that can provoke that inexplicable feeling of happiness in me that I'd be interested in.

Go ask that girl out on a date!

 

[flaneur]

I look for easygoing, non-dramatic people that enjoy their lives, and have some sort of long-term life goals (house, kids, career, art, travel, etc) that they actually work toward (not just with empty lip-service, either).
They have to share at least some of my interests.
I've found that getting into a relationship where you don't share interest becomes incredibly boring after a while (I would want to go do an activity, and she would make it as difficult as possible for me, complain, lay guilt and blame, and make my life hell until I did what she wanted to instead).

Don't gloss over the fact that you don't have anything in common with someone without forethought!
It can really become aggravating 5 years later when he/she is the most boring, energy-sucking black hole in your life!

Exactly this. I find it difficult to respect someone who doesn't have any real interest or passion in anything. If she seems like a dull, unmotivated person, it's hard to make the case for friendship let alone anything else.

The other important things I look for in a woman are leftist leanings, emotional intelligence and independence (socially and financially). Oh, and ****s.

 

[VanillaCreme]

A handy man who games. That's what I looked for. Don't care about looks or status. If you can fix stuff, then lay down and play a game or two with me, I'm sold.

 

[2fresh4youx]

Just someone you have that natural chemistry with. Too many people these days want something so "specific" in a partner, like the same taste in music or a certain way of looking. I'm open to quite a lot, but the dream girl would have to be someone wise, confident and be willing to accept the differences that people have in society have between one another (i.e not someone who follows over saturated trends, styles and opinions of thought like a mindless zombie). In essence, someone unique with their own set of interests and goals.

 

[Gutted]

What do/did you find interesting in your current/previous partner?

About my French Ex:

Initially, I liked her because she was extremely good looking and she liked me. Even made most of the moves to get us together. Then as I got to know her, she appeared to have had a tough life, like myself. She did also make me laugh and she was mature. Things changed in time though.

 

[Oldyoung]

Almost everyone is answering the wrong question... Read the first post. Interesting thoughts though. Just intended this thread to be more specific by referring to something real.

 

[Astral_Punisher]

What did you find interesting in your current/previous partner?

Well, she was nice to me. And she tried to do things for me that she thought I would like. The sex was also good.

Other then that, nothing. She was boring and vapid. No ambition at all. No willpower.

It's hard to remember the good, I suppose. And when the physical stuff, and the surface stuff seemed good, I guess I just went along with it. Everyone was telling me. "It's good, It's good. Hold onto her. She's great..."

Well, she wasn't great for me.

 

[ladyforsaken]

They have to share at least some of my interests.
I've found that getting into a relationship where you don't share interest becomes incredibly boring after a while (I would want to go do an activity, and she would make it as difficult as possible for me, complain, lay guilt and blame, and make my life hell until I did what she wanted to instead).

Don't gloss over the fact that you don't have anything in common with someone without forethought!
It can really become aggravating 5 years later when he/she is the most boring, energy-sucking black hole in your life!

Totally agree with this!

Currently, I find this particular person very sweet. What I find interesting about him too, is that, on the surface he seems pretty dark and mysterious (to me, that is lol) but then underneath all that, he is actually a very sweet and charming guy who just knows how to make me smile. Also, the fact that we share a lot of things in common makes things more intriguing for the both of us and the fact that he's genuinely very caring just blows me away.

 

[Okiedokes]

What do/did you find interesting in your current/previous partner?

Oh, I overlooked this question. I liked a lot of things about him like being able to fix just about anything, similiar beliefs, likes to help other people, we liked the same cartoons. We probably would have done just fine together if there had been a connection and he wanted to live the married life. He wanted to be independent and be able to live his own life so I'm letting him.