What do you think of this statement?

[Pheenix]

If you are asocial, you wouldn't feel too lonely. I feel that this is a problem and a weakness in my life I need to get sorted out, but I feel very little actual desire to socialize. It's more of an obstacle.
I am not sure "asocial" is a diagnosis. It just means not desiring social contact. It's a trait found in various disorders, but it's not a disorder in itself. I think. I could very well be wrong.

 

[IgnoredOne]

If you are asocial, you wouldn't feel too lonely. I feel that this is a problem and a weakness in my life I need to get sorted out, but I feel very little actual desire to socialize. It's more of an obstacle.
I am not sure "asocial" is a diagnosis. It just means not desiring social contact. It's a trait found in various disorders, but it's not a disorder in itself. I think. I could very well be wrong.

It sounds like a trait rather than an actual disorder, and you sound like you have an accurate awareness of the obstacle that it may you pose to have to work alone.

Do you have no desire for companionship at all, though? No close friends at all?

 

[Pheenix]

I have no close friends. I have no desire for friends per se, but I have a desire to fix this "problem" and stop being the one who has something he "can't do". Tired of being attacked by family for having this weakness. However, I do feel down when I am left out of major events, or et cetera, but that could just as well be because it feels like boredom and a blow to your self-esteem as it could be a desire to actually socialize. There are different perspectives of looking at it situations where I feel down, but always can you find an alternate explanation for the hurt.

Talking with my psychologist, the problem is most likely thus: I have built a sub-conscious self-defense mechanism that antagonizes people I meet, thus I have no desire to be with them. But I am pretty sure we will work that out, and suddenly I will want friends. Perhaps so suddenly I will get an onset of this dramatic loneliness I see on this forum, but if thats what it takes to make me more happy overall, so be it.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I have no close friends. I have no desire for friends per se, but I have a desire to fix this "problem" and stop being the one who has something he "can't do". Tired of being attacked by family for having this weakness. However, I do feel down when I am left out of major events, or et cetera, but that could just as well be because it feels like boredom and a blow to your self-esteem as it could be a desire to actually socialize. There are different perspectives of looking at it situations where I feel down, but always can you find an alternate explanation for the hurt.

Talking with my psychologist, the problem is most likely thus: I have built a sub-conscious self-defense mechanism that antagonizes people I meet, thus I have no desire to be with them. But I am pretty sure we will work that out, and suddenly I will want friends. Perhaps so suddenly I will get an onset of this dramatic loneliness I see on this forum, but if thats what it takes to make me more happy overall, so be it.

Well, do you want to accomplish anything in particular? I mean, if you wanted to build a business, you'll want to have the appropriate networking links to find individuals who can assist you. Or to complete large project, division of labor will be helpful.

I have been diagnosed with the rather unpleasant sounding antisocial personality disorder, also known as sociopathy But while I don't always see a need for lots of friends, I appreciate how getting to know people enables me to accomplish goals that I do want.

 

[Pheenix]

Not really, I just want to be happy, and if this asocial thing eats a way at my emotional stability, I want to fix it. I do feel like a rather unhappy person overall, even though my self-esteem, money, abilities, dreams, everything seems to be just fine, so I'm pretty sure this asocial thing is making me unhappy, but only my subconscious knows the connection. For my conscious, it just feels like being unhappy for no reason.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Not really, I just want to be happy, and if this asocial thing eats a way at my emotional stability, I want to fix it. I do feel like a rather unhappy person overall, even though my self-esteem, money, abilities, dreams, everything seems to be just fine, so I'm pretty sure this asocial thing is making me unhappy, but only my subconscious knows the connection. For my conscious, it just feels like being unhappy for no reason.

Seems like a worthwhile angle to approach at any rate. I wish you luck and it sounds like you are adequately tackling your issues; your therapist sounds like he has excellent ideas and I generally agree. Try to make some friends and see if it evokes any particular happiness for you.

 

[Pheenix]

Thank you. I don't know if I'll make any friends right now, because I feel that they don't deserve to listen to someone who doesn't desire their company, but if I reach a dead end with my therapist, of if he suggests it, I will.

 

[kaede]

Friendship is not an opportunity it's a responsibility.

I think it's both. Opportunities to form friendships will present themselves, however if you don't maintain it then it's possible that it won't really last. Friendships do take some effort and work.

 

[rosebud]

I agree with that statement. Every action we do or relationship we have in our life is a responsibility. Like it or not...

 

[Soup]

Friendship is not an opportunity it's a responsibility.

It would be a good statement if there was anything in it. I people felt responsible to befriend others then we would not be sitting here on this forum.

People take and that is human nature. I often feel a big element of why I ended up so isolated and alone is that I don’t have anything to give anyone. I have a strange and sardonic sense of humour that most people don’t get so I don’t make people laugh and I can not bring anything to anyone’s life other than chat/hanging out.

So if I have nothing to give why should anyone owe a responsibility to befriend me?? I mean F**K! You guys are lonely and/or depressed and I cant even make a friend out of any of you!

That's because you like to pry.


I think friendship starts out as an opportunity, but then slowly becomes a responsibility

 

[lone_drow]

Friendship is not an opportunity it's a responsibility.

Interesting thread.

I can't say that I fully agree with the statement. More than opportunity and responsibility, i feel that reciprocity is a very important factor in friendships.

 

[hellopanda]

I'm not sure friendship classifies as a responsibility. You should be friends because you want to be friends, not because you have a duty to be friends. You have the freedom and opportunity to take friendship to different levels, but you shouldn't be responsible for someone else.

 

[Pomato]

Statement is true. Depends on what your definition of "friendship" is though. I'm assuming that statement wasn't made in the last 30 or so years. Our culture has made us more superficial so we think anyone we hang around with is a "friend" when in reality the word used to mean something more.