What fills the emptiness?

[SophiaGrace]

Loneliness is emptiness. It is a lack or a percieved lack of feeling connected to others. But sometimes maybe loneliness-- or this sense of emptiness, is a chance for us to learn how to deal with it. To not give into it, and do desperate things or things which are attempts to fill ourselves up.

To not get into friendships which are unfulfilling
To not let ourselves be swayed by things which do not fit us

To not attempt to fill ourselves up. To just be. Can't we just be?

Loneliness is looking at ourselves. Looking at our actions of pushing others away, of our feelings of inadequacies which motivate us to be avoidant. Of shame, of guilt, of sorrow which isolate us.

Of the patterns in our mind that bring us to this point.

This is loneliness.
Our actions are loneliness.
Our defensive introvert attitudes are loneliness.
Our inability to be alone and be fine with that is loneliness.

Loneliness. What should fill this emptiness instead?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

For me it's more of a change of my perception or awearness.

In recovery people spoke about the viod, emptiness.
To fill that void it would take something grand...as in a GOD or HP.
So I would ask my HP to fill that void instead of reacting with unhealthy behaviors
with people, places and things. (outside souces)
So I did the HP/GOD thing...My HP loves me unconditionally already.
So it's like a daily reprieve of feeling god's love for me. I focus on that...

Will,...sometimes I feel angery at god or whatever....

My change of perception came someone said...
"you're complete, perfect and hole already."...A new idea to me.
As in my Higher Self....
So it's still the same prinicple....whether I believe it's my HP or HigherSelf.
In other words I dont have a void, lack or seperation.
Im still focusing from the piont of fulfillment already.
Bascially reconditioning myself to think and feel differently.
Allowing myself to feel Im fulfilled already....The fire or light in my heart.

Overtime My CNS system releases these positive endrophins.

 

[Gutted]

Doing something fulfilling is what would fill the emptiness with me. Starting off simple with exercise at home and cleaning and tidying. Then moving onto volunteering and socializing in some form. Then slowly working my way up. Looking for work. Saving money. Looking after pets. I do this stuff now to keep emptiness away. If I feel lazy then I just play games.

 

[CallMeCol]

Sometimes it's hard to find the motivation to even try to fill a void that feels so utterly complete.

Col.

 

[kamya]

Sleep

 

[Veilside05]

If there is emptiness, it means there is time for you to do things you always wanted.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Nice thread, Soph.

 

[musicstoodstill]

I don't know.

I do know that the absence of that someone, something, makes for a sense of profound ache

Just like I know that the presence of that someone, something, expands the nothing into a powerful something

 

[Shadow Self]

The only way to break the circle, is to stop trying. Why try to fill something that a has a hole on the bottom of it, leaking it drop by drop. One has to accept that this is what life is, and that's who he is. Not give up - but embrace. We are blinded by looking for missing pieces. Maybe it's time to accept that the pieces are gone. Or actually were never there. Maybe it's time to be what you want to be and forget the have to, and must. The can't, and the won't. Some perception never hurt anyone. Why not have a relationship with your inner self for a change, and stop looking at others for salvation. It's never coming from outside, those emotions, and thoughts. They all appear from within you, so why look for help in something else, but yourself? Maybe the only way to free yourself from the void is to accept it. It's a part of our lives - a big part of mine for sure. And maybe it's time to let go of the past, change the present and start looking to the future. Accept reality for what it really is. You are lonely - you don't have to be, being alone and being lonely is two different things, so maybe you want to be lonely? When you have nothing holding you, and life seems agonizing and miserable, you have yourself. Maybe it sounds egoistic, but one person that is always with you is ... You. Captain obvious, but most of us forget that. Just a thought.

 

[putter65]

The only way to break the circle, is to stop trying. Why try to fill something that a has a hole on the bottom of it, leaking it drop by drop. One has to accept that this is what life is, and that's who he is. Not give up - but embrace. We are blinded by looking for missing pieces. Maybe it's time to accept that the pieces are gone. Or actually were never there. Maybe it's time to be what you want to be and forget the have to, and must. The can't, and the won't. Some perception never hurt anyone. Why not have a relationship with your inner self for a change, and stop looking at others for salvation. It's never coming from outside, those emotions, and thoughts. They all appear from within you, so why look for help in something else, but yourself? Maybe the only way to free yourself from the void is to accept it. It's a part of our lives - a big part of mine for sure. And maybe it's time to let go of the past, change the present and start looking to the future. Accept reality for what it really is. You are lonely - you don't have to be, being alone and being lonely is two different things, so maybe you want to be lonely? When you have nothing holding you, and life seems agonizing and miserable, you have yourself. Maybe it sounds egoistic, but one person that is always with you is ... You. Captain obvious, but most of us forget that. Just a thought.

i think your right. Other people ? They either don't give a **** or are lying. Ive had this woman call me a friend. I don't hear from her for months on end. It's all ********. I'm bothered about myself and my family. That's it. Work mates are that; work mates. Friends ? I haven't got any. I think about myself. I am number one. And I can be happy by myself.

 

[CallMeCol]

I generally use technical electrical and mechanically based hobbies to try and fill the endless hours till I finally die.

For example I've been teaching myself to fly remote controlled aircraft the last year or so - which is great, because to family friends and outsiders alike it looks like great fun which makes them very happy for me and stops them asking embarassing questions like "are you actually happy?".

Col.

 

[fuzzybutt]

I really don't know how I'm doing it. Sports is one way. I'm going back to start working in a job I've been at for 2 holiday seasons. Third time's a charm? I'm also going to school but the semester just started recently and I'm already struggling. Depression and guilt are affecting my performance.

 

[Autumntranspire]

Inner peace... I know that is a little difficult to imagine because you feel empty so there is not much there. When you experience things that do make you feel at peace, like lets say you enjoy photography because you can express how you are feeling inside through what is beautiful through your eyes. Whether someone thinks so or not, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just like what you are doing, do it because you enjoy it and it's who you are, not just because it's something to do I hope you are not embarrassed if you are unhappy and not at peace within yourself. It is how you feel and that's something you shouldn't ever be ashamed of. I think that peace comes from within, the world may be crumbling around you yet if you are at peace within yourself then you are at peace with the world. Trust me.. I know how you feel, whether you believe that or not. It's a tough road to go down... Let me quote you something. It is a Robert Frost quote. Just know that you don't know me but if you ever need someone to talk with and discuss things with I'm a message away!

I shall be telling this with a sigh
somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Remember that the only person able to establish change within you, is yourself.

 

[fox]

I use books and films to fill in places of friends. Can live through the characters in them a while that way.. see new places, have new experiences, experience interactions of people, in the time it takes to read the book or watch the film.

 

[Veilside05]

Inner peace... I know that is a little difficult to imagine because you feel empty so there is not much there. When you experience things that do make you feel at peace, like lets say you enjoy photography because you can express how you are feeling inside through what is beautiful through your eyes. Whether someone thinks so or not, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just like what you are doing, do it because you enjoy it and it's who you are, not just because it's something to do I hope you are not embarrassed if you are unhappy and not at peace within yourself. It is how you feel and that's something you shouldn't ever be ashamed of. I think that peace comes from within, the world may be crumbling around you yet if you are at peace within yourself then you are at peace with the world. Trust me.. I know how you feel, whether you believe that or not. It's a tough road to go down... Let me quote you something. It is a Robert Frost quote. Just know that you don't know me but if you ever need someone to talk with and discuss things with I'm a message away!

I shall be telling this with a sigh
somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Remember that the only person able to establish change within you, is yourself.

Inner peace may not be that easy to achieve as unfortunately, we are all humans affected by external factors.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

Work fills it for me. Since my divorce I've been working 12+ hour days when I don't have anything else to do. At least it keeps me occupied.

 

[Isla]

time wasting. i cant help feeling the hurt of loneliness. if i have a love in my life, i am fulfilled. i have been told this is wrong, but it is right for me. i dont want to go thru life alone doing painting and reading. i want to paint and read and be loved and cherished. so i waste time until i find love again to fill that empty feeling that loneliness brings.

 

[Autumntranspire]

Inner peace... I know that is a little difficult to imagine because you feel empty so there is not much there. When you experience things that do make you feel at peace, like lets say you enjoy photography because you can express how you are feeling inside through what is beautiful through your eyes. Whether someone thinks so or not, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just like what you are doing, do it because you enjoy it and it's who you are, not just because it's something to do I hope you are not embarrassed if you are unhappy and not at peace within yourself. It is how you feel and that's something you shouldn't ever be ashamed of. I think that peace comes from within, the world may be crumbling around you yet if you are at peace within yourself then you are at peace with the world. Trust me.. I know how you feel, whether you believe that or not. It's a tough road to go down... Let me quote you something. It is a Robert Frost quote. Just know that you don't know me but if you ever need someone to talk with and discuss things with I'm a message away!

I shall be telling this with a sigh
somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Remember that the only person able to establish change within you, is yourself.

Inner peace may not be that easy to achieve as unfortunately, we are all humans affected by external factors.

I agree, but then again what is ever easy? These things are things that we all must fight for. We are all human impacted but what goes on around us and what we cannot always see, yet there will always be light if we so choose to see it.

 

[Trent]

my cure for most things, loneliness included, is knowing that one day i am going to be murdered.

yes, and the murderer will be "life".

in fact, he kills us all.

it's a surprisingly well-kept secret.

 

[Bones]

undefined

---

I do the exact same thing and probably why I read a lot of sci-fi/fantasy novels; and also, I simply ignore the feeling of loneliness and successful at it most of the time.

I use books and films to fill in places of friends. Can live through the characters in them a while that way.. see new places, have new experiences, experience interactions of people, in the time it takes to read the book or watch the film.