TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
nvm I guess I posted twice...
Why many people are lonely
- Thread starter Francis
- Start date
Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
I'm not sure you can really say that would be what "public life autism" would look like. Every autistic person is different. I know many that would talk to anyone, stranger or not. And go on and on and on about crap no one else cares about. Not all people with autism find what the video described as "clingy," I know several that love being touched and touching. And then you have the bad aspects of autism....the meltdowns and whatnot. So yeah, I don't think an autistic world would be any better than the one we have.
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
But why does there have to be "outcast" jobs at all? At least they are working, paying their bills, supporting themselves and their families. THAT is what matters, not your job title. That, to me, is one of the BIG problems with the world. A constant need to label, belittle, look down on whatever doesn't fit on a nice little bow.
I agree ... I took garbage man from the Romanian culture ... the Simpsons producers took that from the American culture
PLA is a term I made myself ... a metaphor attempt ... forget it
"The word itself comes from the 1912 German term Autismus, a combination of the Greek autos, "self," and the adjectival ending istic" ... so to me is a metaphor meaning "not interested about others around them (like living in a bubble)"
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charlotte craig
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Hi Francis, yes I agree totally. I have noticed with all people who say they are lonely they fall into one or more of these categories...
1. all of their chat is about them, me, me , me, all about how awful their life is, they want loads of sympathy, but never want to make an effort to improve it. They want to pm someone and say hey my life is awful now I will lean on you and pm you regularly with how awful I feel, with no thought to how the other person's life is, or how busy they are, or if they don't want to hear it all.
2. most people don't look at why they are in the situation they are in. If they have chosen to live with their parents - because dear mummy does most of the housework and chores and pays all the bills - they have an easy life - but instead of seeing this and appreciating it they moan about the rest of the stuff. then they wonder why other people dont take them seriously, especially if they want some hard working guy to come along and date them and marry them. hard working guys who have their own place will want someone who is more grown up and independent, not someone will relies on others and expects him to pay for everything.
3. not topic of conversation or hobbies.
4. a person who says to others lets get together to go for a walk is usually on a hiding to nothing. most people are too busy and cannot be bothered to schedule a simple walk into their diary, its something they do when in the mood and got some spare time left over and can do on their own. it not worth setting aside time for. just as lets get together for a chat or phone call isnt. ive met loads of women whose idea of being friends was turning up on my doorstep when bored or when they want to vent about some problem, its all one sided. its not fun. and they are the ones getting all of the benefits of it the other one is just losing time.... if they let them... which I dont.
5. being badly organised and not understand that time is valuable. i.e. i work full time, i am busy, my time is valuable. yet people who dont work often think they can just turn up when it suits them and dont like it when I remind them they must arrange a day and time first. i am the busy one, its far easier for them to do that than it is for me, yet they resent it. or turn up an hour late. Ive got clients who travel 300 miles to come and see me who are on time, people who are much busier, but this local person who has all the time in the world thinks she can turn up an hour late. nah. its not going to happen.
6. money. Ive met women who said they were desperate to make new friends. yet if you suggest you go out for a drink at a bar they say they cannot afford it. they want to come over and sit in my office for hours for free instead. its not going to happen, its selfish, i spend enough time there and need to get out. and i dont want to sit around just listening to their tales of woe.
1. all of their chat is about them, me, me , me, all about how awful their life is, they want loads of sympathy, but never want to make an effort to improve it. They want to pm someone and say hey my life is awful now I will lean on you and pm you regularly with how awful I feel, with no thought to how the other person's life is, or how busy they are, or if they don't want to hear it all.
2. most people don't look at why they are in the situation they are in. If they have chosen to live with their parents - because dear mummy does most of the housework and chores and pays all the bills - they have an easy life - but instead of seeing this and appreciating it they moan about the rest of the stuff. then they wonder why other people dont take them seriously, especially if they want some hard working guy to come along and date them and marry them. hard working guys who have their own place will want someone who is more grown up and independent, not someone will relies on others and expects him to pay for everything.
3. not topic of conversation or hobbies.
4. a person who says to others lets get together to go for a walk is usually on a hiding to nothing. most people are too busy and cannot be bothered to schedule a simple walk into their diary, its something they do when in the mood and got some spare time left over and can do on their own. it not worth setting aside time for. just as lets get together for a chat or phone call isnt. ive met loads of women whose idea of being friends was turning up on my doorstep when bored or when they want to vent about some problem, its all one sided. its not fun. and they are the ones getting all of the benefits of it the other one is just losing time.... if they let them... which I dont.
5. being badly organised and not understand that time is valuable. i.e. i work full time, i am busy, my time is valuable. yet people who dont work often think they can just turn up when it suits them and dont like it when I remind them they must arrange a day and time first. i am the busy one, its far easier for them to do that than it is for me, yet they resent it. or turn up an hour late. Ive got clients who travel 300 miles to come and see me who are on time, people who are much busier, but this local person who has all the time in the world thinks she can turn up an hour late. nah. its not going to happen.
6. money. Ive met women who said they were desperate to make new friends. yet if you suggest you go out for a drink at a bar they say they cannot afford it. they want to come over and sit in my office for hours for free instead. its not going to happen, its selfish, i spend enough time there and need to get out. and i dont want to sit around just listening to their tales of woe.
charlotte craig
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Yep one reason people cannot make friends and are lonely. They want all the effort to come from others. And think others need them, they don't they can move on to chattier and more intersting people.
charlotte craig
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Another thing is having unrealistic expectations of what to expect out of life. If you are unemployed and short of money it's ridiculous to think that a person with no baggage or problems is going to fall in love with you and marry you and give you a lovely house and all that goes with it , taking on your baggage and problems as their own and helping you out each day with money etc. If you want a partner who is like that you must become a partner who is like that yourself first.
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
Mental illness, scamming, and possibly heavy cocaine use /= personality, though
The mind is complex. Sometimes the fix is easy enough. Sometimes it's impossible.
