What is a boring person?

[Solivagant]

What makes someone a boring person? I may be opening a can of worms here, but I've seen mention of "boring people" more than once on the forum lately, and this is curious to me. I myself have been called boring many times throughout my life.

I have met a wide variety of people and I can honestly say that I have never thought of anyone as boring. Maybe it's because I'm observational, and I find human habits and interpersonal relationships interesting in themselves. I like to learn, so I always listen carefully to conversations and body language, and I absorb a lot of information about people. Everyone is interesting by this measure, there's no such thing as a boring person.

Now, I have found other people's hobbies boring. I had a guy friend whose main interest was cars and toy cars; he brought them up all the time. Another friend was into dolls and Neopets, another was into Nicholas Sparks and celebrities, etc... All dreadfully boring to me. Likewise, others have been bored by my interests.

But what's boring to me can be fascinating to someone else. Does it really make sense to say that someone is boring just because I'm not interested in what they're interested in? Why is it spoken of like a flaw if you don't fascinate or entertain someone? Why do some people say that others are boring as if it's a personality trait?

It seems rather small-minded. No one is going to find everyone's interests stimulating; I certainly don't. But to say that someone is boring as a person, I think, is a pretty big claim, and seems to carry a bit of underlying arrogance.

Thoughts? What would cause you to consider someone boring?

 

[MrPaul]

People who are not interested in something you can relate to or find interesting / entertaining. It has a different meaning for everybody.

 

[Badjedidude]

It depends on how the person is using the word, I think. For instance:

It's entirely possible for a person to be boring and dry when talking about their hobby.... whereas a someone who has the same hobby yet talks about it excitedly and with passion might be considered not boring.

I think in that example, it does apply directly to the person. It's not that the hobby itself is boring, it's the person's attitude in conveying that interest to others, etc.

Do I think it's possible for a person to be boring? As in... being boring is a personality trait? I don't know. Possibly.

But neither would I say that being boring is the sum totality of who that person is or detracts from what value they have as a human being.

 

[lifestream]

I'm the same. I would never call a person boring, even if I did find them unstimulating to be around.

I find that people who call others boring are usually nursing a few tedious personality traits themselves, as well as a hefty dose of arrogance. That's something I find incredibly boring in other people, actually - arrogance. It denotes a small mind and a smug attitude to me.

 

[Rosebolt]

I think a person can be considered boring by people when their way of communicating to them is not engaging on any significant level. Of course, this varies from person to person, as mentioned earlier.

 

[Ruthie]

What makes someone a boring person? I may be opening a can of worms here, but I've seen mention of "boring people" more than once on the forum lately, and this is curious to me. I myself have been called boring many times throughout my life.

I have met a wide variety of people and I can honestly say that I have never thought of anyone as boring. Maybe it's because I'm observational, and I find human habits and interpersonal relationships interesting in themselves. I like to learn, so I always listen carefully to conversations and body language, and I absorb a lot of information about people. Everyone is interesting by this measure, there's no such thing as a boring person.

Now, I have found other people's hobbies boring. I had a guy friend whose main interest was cars and toy cars; he brought them up all the time. Another friend was into dolls and Neopets, another was into Nicholas Sparks and celebrities, etc... All dreadfully boring to me. Likewise, others have been bored by my interests.

But what's boring to me can be fascinating to someone else. Does it really make sense to say that someone is boring just because I'm not interested in what they're interested in? Why is it spoken of like a flaw if you don't fascinate or entertain someone? Why do some people say that others are boring as if it's a personality trait?

It seems rather small-minded. No one is going to find everyone's interests stimulating; I certainly don't. But to say that someone is boring as a person, I think, is a pretty big claim, and seems to carry a bit of underlying arrogance.

Thoughts? What would cause you to consider someone boring?

You broke this down beautifully, Solivagant and I agree. How could anyone in the world be boring?

I agree with you about interests--not everyone's are going to be compatible - but for the person himself or herself to be decreed as boring? No way. Everyone is interesting! Everyone!

I'm a little shocked that someone would call you boring. I see you as being cool, collected, analytical, slightly melancholy, highly intellectual, elegant, a deep thinker, smooth, poised, intriguing, mysterious. I truly admire those qualities because I get so excited and silly then get embarrassed and go quiet. You are smooth and cool which are such admirable qualities in today's stressed, chaotic world.
As for the ones who said that of you, oh my, Solivagant, I'm sorry that bosh was said to you. I don't see you that way in the least. If anything, you're fascinating.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Boring ? - Somebody without a point of view about anything. No interest in anything. Somebody who just follows the pack.

It's a broad term anyway. People who drink are boring to me. Others will disagree.

 

[TheSkaFish]

It may be just laziness in articulating one's thoughts. Someone may say "he/she is so boring" but instead they might really mean to say "I am not interested in any of the things he/she is interested in, and it makes it very hard to relate or carry a conversation with this person".

Like I was saying on a couple other threads, I look at online dating profiles sometimes and I see a lot of women who talk about things like their day job, their favorite sports teams, TV shows, food, and drinking. I'm guilty of laziness in saying they are boring - it's more like, I am just not that interested in any of those things. I mean, I'm not even saying those interests are horrible and wrong and no one should have them and if you do you're stupid, or something like that. For instance, I know a lot of people like to watch sports, and I can see the appeal of it. I can see why people like to get into it, how it brings people together and gives people something to bond over and talk about. It's just that with me, I happen to not be all that interested in it.

The other thing is that I've found so many people, page after page, whose interests are all more or less the ones I described. Not only that, but their appearance and character, the way they talk, the way they carry themselves, is more or less similar - I find these people fit into "types". Business professional. Sports fan. Club girl. Raver. Country type. Theater person. Gamer/nerd. Stoner. And so on. Lots of people really are into only one or two things as their main interest, and that's just what they are into all the time. For me, I like a bunch of things that some would even consider contradictory. I'm not just friends with one group that does one thing, either. I kind of float around between a few circles. When it comes to romantic interest, I like the idea of finding someone that I feel there aren't a million other copies of out there and that I could swap any one of them for any other and life wouldn't miss a beat.

I'm not immune either. I often worry that I am boring, since I just hang out at home and don't go out a lot. Because I haven't worked and haven't had money, I haven't done a whole lot, and also because I've been pretty indecisive and self-doubting all my life, that's also caused me to sit around thinking instead of going out and doing things, committing to a path as a lot of people I've known have done. As a result, I don't have a lot of stories to wow people, especially women. I don't even wow myself. Let's just say I'm no rock star, I'm no James Bond. This is an area I need to work on, as I crave an exciting woman. I think one of the reasons I feel I've fallen short with those girls is because I'm not on their level.

I think a person can be considered boring by people when their way of communicating to them is not engaging on any significant level. Of course, this varies from person to person, as mentioned earlier.

I'd agree with this too. I find a person to be boring, or at least I find the interaction with them to be boring, when we can't engage each other on a significant level, where the conversation doesn't seem to go past small talk. That's what I'd say is "not connecting". Where there's no deep meaning being shared. But I think you can still connect with someone in a meaningful way even if you don't have all the same matching interests. For example, that girl I like a lot wasn't into Star Wars or roleplaying or any fiction at all for that matter and I wasn't into dressmaking and crafting (one of her interests), but because we did have other interests we shared and we happened to be seeking some other, similar things in life, we were able to talk to each other about things that meant a lot to us.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

I'm sooooo resisting the urge with this one....

 

[Alma lost her spoon]

Are you feeling ok there WWC?

Maybe you need a bit of a lie down lol

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Are you feeling ok there WWC?

Maybe you need a bit of a lie down lol

Currently trying to keep a muzzle on it....

 

[Case]

It's a subjective insult to call someone "boring."

To me, no one is boring. There are people who simply do not connect in one way of another. That doesn't make anyone boring. Just different. However, a person who finds someone or something boring has stopped caring, and in a way is quite selfish in their demands of the people around them.

We can choose to elevate people and their interests, or we can choose to devalue their interests by dismissing them as boring people. These so-called "boring people" have desires, fears, life experiences, and opinions that are no different than anyone else.

I don't have time for boredom, and I've never found anyone to be boring. Maybe disagreeable, maybe even irritating, but never boring. If we can't find people interesting, we are probably short-tempered and have little patience for anything outside our tiny sphere of interest. I would sincerely hate to be that kind of person.

 

[Solivagant]

^ I agree! That is what I was trying to get at, but you said it much better than I; thank you.

Everyone is making good points, thanks for the discussion! =] I'm ruminating on it.

Boring ? - Somebody without a point of view about anything. No interest in anything.

Do such people exist? I would think one would have to be insentient, a vegetable to have absolutely no interests or points of view.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Everyone so far has said boring is when two people don't mesh. I disagree. I think boring is when a person is not excitable. They lack emotions, and zest that is infectious....we all have this on some level.

Boring people do not.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Boring ? - Somebody without a point of view about anything. No interest in anything.

Do such people exist? I would think one would have to be insentient, a vegetable to have absolutely no interests or points of view.

They exist. They are the ones like Bogey said, where they just sort of follow what everyone else is doing. They may like things, but it's only in a sort of lukewarm way. The passion isn't there.

I think anyone has the potential to become really passionate about things, but a lot of people seem very sedate.

 

[Case]

Everyone so far has said boring is when two people don't mesh. I disagree. I think boring is when a person is not excitable. They lack emotions, and zest that is infectious....we all have this on some level.

Boring people do not.

I think you are wrong. Excitability and infectiousness are hardly justification for calling people boring.

---

The word "boring" is like the word "stupid." People use it to insult a person's behavior that they do not like.

 

[Ymir]

Well, I think I'm not that boring and it's nearly impossible to get me excited about anything. Unless we talkin' about money

I don't think people are boring. I think there are people interested in things I am not interested in, there are people who cannot convey their thoughts very well, there are people who I cannot communicate or reason with. Everyone's interesting in their own way, and no one fits any given label to a T. If you think so, you probably don't know them very well.

 

[Case]

Well, I think I'm not that boring and it's nearly impossible to get me excited about anything. Unless we talkin' about money

I don't think people are boring. I think there are people interested in things I am not interested in, there are people who cannot convey their thoughts very well, there are people who I cannot communicate or reason with. Everyone's interesting in their own way, and no one fits any given label to a T. If you think so, you probably don't know them very well.

^^ Well Said. +1

 

[SophiaGrace]

Everyone so far has said boring is when two people don't mesh. I disagree. I think boring is when a person is not excitable. They lack emotions, and zest that is infectious....we all have this on some level.

Boring people do not.

I think you are wrong. Excitability and infectiousness are hardly justification for calling people boring.

---

The word "boring" is like the word "stupid." People use it to insult a person's behavior that they do not like.

---

I would never say this to anyone. It is hurtful, I agree.

 

[Pike Creek]

I think that a person who claims they are "boring" is boring because the ones I've met anyhow, they've been very vocal about how boring they are...well, if you say it enough times I'll believe it.

But gosh, it's SO SUBJECTIVE....what I find boring, someone else would find attractive! My boring list is:
1. Lazy, unhealthy, sit on your ass all day, would play WOW (or other similar) 24/7 if they could.
2. "Please tell me more about your daughter"... <=== this is my extremely sarcastic response to those who cannot stop gushing about their children
3. ANYONE who can only seem to focus on ONE subject during any type of conversation. One ex-friend I had...everything came down to PETA...so damn boring!